The Ex Files

Five Steps to Freedom

"I think you should consider unblocking Hal. He really wants to talk to you."

Kelly stared at Eleanor. "How long were you married to him? Ten years? Didn't you learn anything?"

"Thirteen, actually. But this is different. He really seems to want to make some changes in his life."

"Why are you talking to him at all? How did he get your phone number?"

"I never changed it after the divorce. He didn't bother deleting it." Eleanor was smiling just a bit inwardly. She had deleted Hal's number as soon as all the negotiations and paperwork were finished and the decree absolute was in her hands. But he had kept hers safely locked in his phone. Maybe, just maybe, he felt a tad of nostalgia for what they had shared together, and regretted losing it.

"Did Hal put you up to this?" Kelly asked suspiciously.

"Maybe he hinted, but he never actually asked me to say anything to you."

"So you decided to fix his life. There's a name for that – co-dependency."

"Whatever it is, he wants to fix it. He's going to see a therapist and wants you to come along."

"Too much information," Kelly snapped. "We're finished. He can do whatever he likes, and so can I. We don't need you running back and forth between us."

After the supper dishes were done, Kelly went straight to her room instead of hanging out with Eleanor and Pamina. She picked Freedom: Five Steps to Overcoming Co-Dependency off her bookshelf, sprawled on her bed, and opened it at page 1. She should have that book memorized by now, but obviously she had missed something. She was actually considering phoning Hal.

Never, never, never would she consider cleaning up his messes, running his errands, or cooking his meals again. But a trip to a therapist might be an opportunity for growth.  It was a positive move on his part, after all. She would have a chance to tell her story with a trained professional in place to keep things from getting out of hand. Maybe Hal would finally understand that she needed respect, consideration, and healthy boundaries. Maybe he would realize that sex was not a cure-all for all relationship difficulties. Maybe he would actually talk to her, listen to her, ask her out on a real date, something more romantic than a business function with free appys and booze.

In the middle of page 4, she dozed off. She dreamed of hiking in the mountains with a faceless stranger. When she stumbled, he grabbed her before she fell, and continued walking beside her, hand-in-hand. She moved closer and looked up at his profile. Was this Hal, Kareem, or someone else? Someone she had not even met? Her Prince Charming existed somewhere, and she needed him to appear right now and bring perpetual happiness with him. Twenty-five was not exactly old age, but it was a step closer to thirty.

A herd of wild goats came leaping across the pathway. The stream of bodies collided with the hikers, knocking them off her feet. She struggled to her hands and knees. Her companion had disappeared.

She called out for help, but there was no one around to hear her. She was alone on the mountain, and could not remember where she was going. Darkness was falling, and she was hopelessly lost.

She woke up with a start. Someone was knocking on the door. Good grief, had Eleanor invited Hal over for peace talks?

"Kelly – it's Pamina. May I come in?"

Kelly was in no mood to talk to anyone, but it seemed unwise to antagonize her new housemate. Once they got to know each other better, they could discuss boundary setting. At least Pamina had knocked instead of just barrelling in, the way her family members invariably did.

She rolled off the bed, and glanced out the window that overlooked the garden. Twilight already! She had slept for over two hours, and would probably have trouble settling down at bedtime. If the book failed to lull her back to sleep again, she was in for a long night.

She turned on her light and opened the door. "Sorry – I was asleep."

Pamina was carrying a tray with a china teacup, a dessert dish with something pink in it, and two biscotti. "Oh dear – did I wake you?"

"It's probably a good thing. If I slept through, I'd probably be up at four in the morning and hate myself."

"Eleanor and I were having a late dessert, and I thought you might like some. The tea is a mix called Sunshine Dreams and the cherry yoghourt is really excellent."

Despite her annoyance at being disturbed, Kelly was touched by Pamina's effort. "That's very thoughtful. Thank you."

Kelly hastily created some space on her bedside stand so that Pamina could set the tray down. She sat on the bed, picked up the teacup, and took a cautious sip. It tasted of cinnamon, honey, and cloves, with an overtone of something that might be rose petals. Not something she would choose, but not bad.

"Do you mind if I stay for a few minutes?" Pamina asked. "I'd like your opinion on the yoghourt."

Kelly's only chair was covered with clothes. She grabbed them and dumped them on the bed. "Have a seat."

The yoghourt was as pleasant as yoghourt could be for someone who hated yoghourt. But the biscotti were excellent. Kelly felt sorry for Pamina, who didn't eat biscotti. How could anyone get through life without the soothing comfort of baked goods?

While Kelly was eating, Pamina picked up the book on the bed. "I've never read a self-help book," Pamina said, "but I've been thinking that it might provide some insights. Is this a good one?"

"I'll lend it to you as soon as I finish re-reading it, so you can see for yourself." Kelly said. "In the meanwhile, you might want to look at the ones on my book shelf."

Pamina browsed through the books while Kelly finished the yoghourt. "These are fascinating titles. Is The ABCs of Relationship any good?"

"I liked it," Kelly said. "But it didn't keep my boyfriend from walking out on me."

"That's sad. It must be an awful experience to have someone you trust suddenly disappear."

"Hasn't anyone ever broken up with you?" Kelly asked, and then mentally kicked herself for asking such a stupid question. Who would even think of breaking up with a perfectly built creature like Pamina?

"I haven't had a boyfriend since high school. We drifted apart when I started university."

"Really? I thought men would be lined up outside your door, panting."

Pamina sighed. "Unfortunately. Never the right ones. I had a good job at an accounting firm until my boss took a liking to me and couldn't understand why I wasn't delighted. That's why I decided to start my own business."

"Maybe we're both better off without men in our lives," Kelly said, placing the empty bowl on the tray. She was itching to hear the whole story of Pamina's amorous misadventures, but that would take half the night, and she had to get up at six-thirty to get to her job on time.

Pamina picked up the tray. "I have some work to finish for a client, but I'd like to talk more later. I hope we can be friends. A lot women don't seem to like me."

"That's because they're jealous. They think that a gorgeous woman like you must have a perfect life."

"I wish," Pamina said. "It's never been easy. I'm a good accountant, but I have trouble getting people to take my skills seriously."

"That's so unfair!" Kelly exclaimed, feeling a sudden rush of empathy. "Why can't people look below the surface and see what's really there?"

Pamina smiled wistfully. "I hope we can talk again soon."

"Me too. I hope your work goes well tonight, Pamina!"

"Please call me Pam."

"Good night, Pam. Sweet dreams!"