The Ex Files

The Mother Who Didn't Care

"I had no idea you had a son," Kelly said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's complicated."

"Is Hal the father?"

"I was sixteen. I hadn't even met Hal."

After gorging on Kelly's gourmet flatbread and thanking her profusely, Patrick had retired to the rec room, leaving Kelly and Eleanor to clean up the kitchen. It was not a big job, but Eleanor wanted it to last forever. She had dried the dishes, put them away, and wiped down the stove and fridge. Now she was pretending to be deeply absorbed in reorganizing the spices.

Kelly finished scrubbing the sink, washed her hands, and filled the tea kettle. She snitched a couple of Eternal Evenings tea bags from Pam's stash and put them into the tea pot. While she was waiting for the water to boil, she examined their collection of mugs, trying to decide which ones would be most appropriate to the moment. She decided on the two cute ones with kittens. They always helped her feel a little better.

She poured the boiling water over the tea bags, put the mugs on the table along with two spoons and the honey, and sat down at the table. This was going to be a serious kitchen table conference, not a lazy lounge in the living room.

Five minutes of silence followed, interrupted only by the sound of clinking spice jars. Kelly poured the tea and topped the pot up with hot water.

"Leave it, Eleanor. Tea time."

"Just a minute," Eleanor said, with elaborate casualness, as if everything was completely normal. Kelly stirred honey into her tea. This could be a very long minute.

Eleanor stopped her clinking and turned around. She sat down opposite Kelly, her face a universe of devastation.

"I don't know what to do."

"Tell me the story," Kelly said. "From the beginning."

"A guy from school, Jared Coleman, invited me to a party. My parents were gone for the week-end and my ultra-responsible sister Susan had been married for a year, so I was the senior sibling. I thought I had nothing to worry about. My sister June was fourteen and my brother Len was thirteen. They looked up to me and would never rat me out no matter what. I didn't really know Jared, but he was the first guy who ever asked me to a party."

"Yeah. I know how that is," Kelly said.

"There was a whole herd of people partying in the house. I only knew a couple of them. I wanted to fit in." Eleanor paused, blinking away tears.

"Jared raped you?" Kelly asked.

"I don't remember exactly, but it was more the other way around. I practically tore his clothes off. I was reading a lot of romance novels those days, and I couldn't wait to find out what I was missing."

"How was it?"

"Awkward and messy. I stopped reading romance books after that."

"They are very misleading. All boys should be forced to read them so that they understand what is expected of them."

"Jared took me home at four in the morning. He didn't act any differently afterwards and he never asked me out again, so I thought that was that. It was almost three months before I realized that I had a problem. My periods had always been irregular, so I didn't notice that they had stopped. I had a bit of morning sickness, but I thought that was because I was skipping meals and eating junk food. My sister Susan was pregnant, and everybody was so excited because that was going to be the first grandchild for Mom and Dad. One day, Mom sent me over to Susan's place with some baby clothes, and we had a deep conversation. I'll never forget the way she put her hand on my belly and told me that I had a bun in the oven. She said it wouldn't be long until I felt it kicking."

"No shit. What did you do?"

"I told Jared. I thought he would know what to do. I didn't want to get married, but I thought he should be involved. A couple of girls at school got pregnant the year before. One of them got married, and the other one stayed at home and raised the baby with her Mom. She was only thirteen. I suppose that I knew that there were other options, but I didn't think about them."

"Jared didn't want to get married, I take it."

"He told me he knew someone who could fix the problem for two hundred and fifty dollars. That way, our parents wouldn't find out."

"I'm glad you said no," Kelly said. "You could have died."

"I didn't say anything. I was dumbfounded. I thought I had no choice. I was going to tell Susan that I fell down the stairs and miscarried, and hope she kept her mouth shut."

"You said yes?" Kelly tried to keep calm, but her voice squeaked.

"I agreed to let Jared to go ahead with the arrangements. The next day, Susan miscarried. It was awful. I decided I couldn't go through that. So I told Mom that I was pregnant. And she cooked up this weird and wonderful plan to keep my baby in the family. Dad walked around with a permanent scowl for a few days, but he went along with it."

Kelly leaned forward, wishing she had something stronger to drink than Eternal Evenings tea. This story was starting to sound like a daytime soap opera.

"They sent me to one of those homes for unwed mothers, and told everybody I was going to a special school because I was dyslexic. Susan started wearing padding under her clothes and pretended to be pregnant. She came to the hospital when I went into labour, and held my hand through the whole thing. It was almost like we had the baby together. Then we drove home together with the baby in a basket in the back seat, and announced the birth of Sean and Susan's son. They named him Patrick after our Dad. Patrick Sean Barton. There was some paperwork I had to sign afterwards for a private adoption, very hush-hush. If anyone suspected, they never said."

"So Patrick thought you were his aunt?"

"Yes. I spent a lot of time with him. Susan and Sean had three kids of their own later. I tried not to play favourites, but Pat was always the special one. When he hugged me and told me that he loved me, it was easy to forget that he wasn't mine. But he isn't, and never will be. I gave him away."

"How did he find out?"

"I don't know. It happened at the worst possible time, while I going through the divorce. Pat went off the deep end. I don't know how he located Jared, but he knocked on his door and threatened to commit suicide if Jared didn't do the right thing and take him in. Jared insisted on genetic testing. When he got the results, he became an instant father. Susan and Sean were devastated, but they thought it was best not to interfere. They were hoping that Patrick would get tired of the bachelor lifestyle and come home eventually. But he never did. He won't even speak to them. Sometimes he meets his brothers and sister after school, but he never comes to the house. He wouldn't speak to me either for the longest time. But one day he got into trouble and needed money and didn't want Jared to find out, so I bailed him out. I shouldn't have. It was the beginning of a nightmare. I've turned myself inside out for him again and again, but he just keeps using me."

"And what now?"

"He brought his backpack and duffel bag with his PJs and electronics.. He wants to move in."

"Just say no," Kelly said. "He has a home. Two, actually."

Eleanor shook her head. "I don't know if I can. Do you have a self-help book about this?"

Kelly nodded. "I do. Tough Love."

She ran up the stairs to her room. The book was exactly where she remembered. She didn't have any high hopes that it would help Eleanor, but at least it was something she could do.