The Ex Files

SOHO to the Rescue

"I can't believe that you were married to Toro while we were dating," Tammy said. "Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"It was a long time ago," Eleanor said reassuringly. "I'm not particularly surprised. So you called him Toro? Isn't that the Spanish word for bull?"

"We used to joke about that sometimes. But it was a shortened form of his name and initial. Hector O."

"I wonder how many names he has," Belle said. "Hector, Hal, Hex, Wolfi, and now Toro."

It had been a busy week-end. Tammy had moved in and Belle had sent her things to Victoria to be stored until she found a suitable apartment. She would be staying with her parents for another two weeks, engrossed in planning their new venture.

Eleanor had started advertising the loft, but there had been no inquiries so far. She was in no hurry to acquire any more housemates, even though she had to pay for the new bathroom and wanted to save money for a car.

The four of them had enjoyed a celebratory dinner cooked by Kelly, and had retired to the living room to get better acquainted. Everything was looking promising so far.

Hal was the hot topic of their discussion. There seemed to be no end to the stories each woman had to tell.

"I was getting suspicious," Tammy said. "He didn't want to meet my family and friends, and never introduced me to anyone. He just wanted to hang out in my apartment. But the sex was good, so I decided not to push."

"How did it end?" Eleanor asked.

"He was always borrowing money from me and not repaying it, so I finally told him no more. He seemed okay with that, but he was gone in the morning, and all the cash was gone from my wallet. Over three hundred dollars. I never saw him again."

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you if he decides to show up here," Eleanor said.

Tammy raised her eyebrows. "After everything he's done, you're still talking to him?"

"You know how he is," Kelly said. "It's only a matter of time until he waltzes in here, expecting to be served coffee and cookies as if nothing ever happened."

"Well, that might be an interesting experience," Tammy said. "He might not even recognize me. Is he still as handsome as ever?"

Eleanor sighed. "Yes. He's very well-preserved, and makes an excellent impression on people when they first meet him."

"I wonder what he'd say if I asked for my money back," Tammy said.

"He'll probably explain that he invested it for you and it's tripled in value and you'll get everything back just as soon as all the paperwork is done," Belle said. "He stole fifteen thousand dollars from me."

"Really? You should have him burned at the stake."

The next few minutes were filled with giggles and brainstorming of creatively diabolical ideas for punishing Hector-Hal-Hex-Wolfi-Toro.

Finally, Eleanor held up her hand. "We have to stop this."

"Why?" Kelly asked. "It's been a blast. We've all been burned, and Hal got away without even scorch marks. At least we can fantasize some revenge."

"Don't you see what's happening?" Eleanor said. "We've just spent an hour and a half Hal-bashing, when there are so many other interesting things to talk about. He's out of our lives for the moment, but he's still controlling us. If we don't do something, he'll always be the invisible elephant in this house. And if he shows up again, he might easily manipulate us into one more round of Hal-itosis."

"Okay," Kelly said. "You might have a point. What do you suggest?"

"We need a plan," Eleanor said. She picked up her note pad. "The inaugural meeting of the SOHO Support Group is now in session."

"Soho?" Tammy asked. "What's that?"

"An acronym. Survivors of Hal O'Halloran."