Will I Know You? (The Lost Souls on Tour: The First Tour)

Stage 39

Stage 39

In life, whenever we are experiencing some phenomenon that sometimes brings pain to our hearts, we often blame fate for occurring. Downfall, heartbreaks, death of a loved one, failure, misery...those aspects where we mostly think that it was fate's doing.

But it was all normal to experience that.

It's normal to fail, to be weak, to feel hurt, sad, and angry. It's normal to lose some precious people in our lives. It's all normal. But the thing that is not normal is...choosing to stay in the darkness where we chose to be miserable in life.

Like what they often say, our future is in our hands. Para sa akin, hindi lang 'yan basta tungkol sa magiging estado ng ating buhay sa hinaharap. Everything in our life is a choice. Sa pagsubok, tayo ang pipili kung haharapin ba na 'tin, tatakbuhan, o mananatili na lang sa dilim. If we want to move on, we will do something to move forward because that is our choice.

Everything is a choice. And choosing the wrong path is normal, but staying isn't.

"You chose to be miserable, Mom, and I don't blame you; we all do it, going in the wrong direction and have become lost, making it difficult to find ourselves. I know, because I was also lost before. And I am now choosing the right path where I know I can find myself. And this is the last step...you," I smiled genuinely. "And now, I could finally say that I chose the right decision and was able to save myself from being miserable. And I hope that you could do that, too, Mom," I whispered as I hugged her again. I felt her arms slowly enveloping me making my smile grow wider.

"Can we visit her together? She will be pleased to see us all together visiting her," I mumbled lowly.

Her sobs became loud as I caressed her back and hushed her. Malakas ang kaniyang pag-iyak na siya rin dumadala sa damdamin ko. I could feel her pain, the pain that she tried to hide for years. And it hurts. But at the same time, it's fulfilling that she could finally share it with me. That I could make her feel that she isn't alone. That I am here, that we are here.

"I'm sorry, Aster. I dragged you with me. I hurt you, I hurt your siblings...I killed your s-sister," she cried loudly.

Humigpit ang yakap ko rito at saka umiling. "You didn't, Mom. You just chose to live. Ate Andreah will understand you, Mommy... The best route is to choose your own peace. She will understand you, okay?"

She nodded her head while crying. Hinayaan ko siyang umiyak sa aking bisig. I can't remember that I had this kind of scenario with my mother in the past years of my life.

"Aster..." She sobbed. "Anak..."

One word and I lost. I cried with her hearing her call me that word for the first time in my life. This is my home, in her arms.

She is my home.

"Anak, mahal na mahal ko k-kayo," her voice broke.

"S-Shh, I-I love you, too, mommy. Stop crying, okay?"

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto kaming tumagal na magkayap. Humiwalay rin sa akin si Mommy at agad na pinunasan ang mga luhang nasa pisngi.

"T-This is so embarrassing. I'm sorry..."

I chuckled a bit as I helped her fix herself. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

She smiled at me genuinely. This time, her shaking hands wiped the tears from my face. She also fixed my hair before she stood up straight.

"C-Can you help me here? Inaayos ko lang ang mga plato at baso."

I nodded. "Of course."

She made me tell her about my journey in NY while I am helping her dry the plates. We organized them and put them in their respective places before we decided to go to the living area of our house.