Will I Know You? (The Lost Souls on Tour: The First Tour)

Stage 33

Stage 33

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Aster, you will never be anyone's mistress. Kahit sino pa 'yan, Aster. Don't stoop down your level, you are more than that. 'Wag mong gagawing maging parausahn lang niya kung si Dhanna lang din naman ang babalikan niya. And fuck, girl's code, Aster. You won't do anything wicked with that sinful jerk.

Pumikit ako nang mariin bago inayos ang spaghetti strap silk top na suot pati na rin ang palda na parehas nagusot. Tinapat ko ang kamay sa automatic na gripo bago sinahod ang tubig at saka naghilamos. My cheeks are flushed, and my eyes are bloodshot from crying earlier. My untidy hair makes me appear like a mess. But in reality, I am a real mess,

Tangina naman, Aster. Ang rupok mo!

I gritted my teeth. What the fuck, Gave? Anong nangyari sa 'yo? Hindi ka naman ganito dati!

Noong kami pa, bihira ako nagselos sa kahit kanino kasi sa tuwing alam niyang nababahala ako sa isang babae na lumalapit sa kaniya, siya na mismo ang lumalayo kahit hindi ko pa sabihin. Pero ngayon...

Damn! He is making me even more confused! Why would he do that knowing that he has a girlfriend? What is it? Is it pure lust? Is he lusting over me?

How about you, Aster? Why did you fucking let him? Is it also because of lust? Is it because he is too hot that you let him touch you and be under his control? Or is it something else?

Putangina. Mahina ka pa rin pagdating sa kaniya, Aster. It is always him who can always make you weak yet you are letting yourself be near him. He is a scorching mistake that will eventually burn you, Aster. Save yourself until you can before you end up being drowned under his mercy.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako babalik mamaya sa studio. Ayaw ko na ngang bumalik, e! I don't know how to face him nor avoid him especially now that we will start recording!

Kung umuwi na lang kaya ako at umaktong masama ang pakiramdam? That is a convinent choice but then also an act of running away, too. Tama naman si Gave, e. Lagi ko na lang bang iiwasan at tatakbuhan ang lahat kaysa harapin at tapusin agad? Mananatili na lang ba akong duwag at makipaghabulan sa lahat?

Kumapit ako sa sink at saka seryosong tinitigan ang sarili mula sa repleksyon.

I should stop running and face everything. I should talk to my sister about it. And especially, I should speak to Gave and explain everything to him so this could be put to an end. I should close everything that was left open behind. It's so hard to turn the pages of a new book without closing the old one. I thought the closure I was seeking was for my sister and Gael, but I've now realized it is actually meant for me.

Siguro pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito, babalik na lang ako ulit sa New York. I don't mind the disarray of my endless false rumors. At least, I could still be at peace despite that. But before that, I'll close everything first. Then after this collaboration thingy, I'll be back in New York.

That's a better idea, Aster. But for the time being, you must gather your thoughts and prepare to face him. Act casually like the incident didn't affect you at all.

Hindi muna ako bumalik sa studio at nagpunta sa cafeteria ng building para bumili ng kape. Kinalikot ko ang cellphone at saka hinanap ang account ni Eura. On social media, Eura is a very private person. Kaya nahihirapan akong hanapin ang username niya sa IG. I lost connection with her four years ago because I got busy with my career.

Should I ask Anjo about it? I bit my lip.

"Hey..."

Umangat ang tingin ko nang may tumawag sa aking atensyon. Luck is in his white polo perfectly hugging his figure with his black slacks. May hawak din ito cup ng kape habang ang isa ay nasa bulsa. His ruffled hair is slightly covering his cold eyes.