Jester (Man x Man) ✔

32) b e t r a y a l s

Eli's memory of that evening and the following night was like a puzzle with more missing pieces than remaining ones. He remembered how nervous he had been when he had entered FAB with Ash, he remembered how they walked to their table and how unfamiliar a sight it had been when none of their friends had been there waiting for them. 

The later it had gotten, the more crowded FAB had become. Eli had ordered himself a drink, but he didn't remember actually drinking it. He remembered talking with Logan and how he had said that he had no job to offer him. But then the man, who Logan had been sitting with, got up and asked Eli to join them. That was what he had done, until Ash texted him and asked where he had disappeared.

"I might have something for you after all." Eli remembered the rush of relief he had felt, when moments later Logan had walked to their table and leaned closer to whisper those words to him. By then Brandon had already joined them and Ash was busy talking with him, so he didn't mind Eli ditching them.

The following conversation was hazy in Eli's mind, but he could recall bits and pieces from Logan's words: "Billy really likes you.. I need this deal to work.. Talk to him, keep him company. Make him feel like you're interested. I just need him in good spirits so that he'll grant me a deal. That's all.. He's a good man, trustworthy, so you have nothing to worry about." And then the flash of guilt that crossed his face when he promised: "You know you can trust me. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Eli remembered thinking: what's the worst that could happen? He had been guilt-ridden because it felt like cheating, but all he needed to do was make Billy feel like he was interested. When Eli thought about it now, he knew it had been naive of him: who would pay someone just for talking and flirting?

Trust was what had gotten him through the locked door and down the stairs. He had trusted Logan enough to guide them to a room and to leave him with a complete stranger. Besides, Billy had seemed like a nice and trustworthy man: he had had a kind smile and he had known how to use words. He had been wearing a suit and a golden Rolex, making it clear that he was a businessman from head to toe. 

But as they say, or as someone at least should say: never trust a rich man.

Eli remembered how after the blaring music upstairs, the room had sounded so silent. Apart from a faint jumping of the bass, it had been just Billy's deep voice and warm laughter that had accompanied Eli's nervous babbling. Then Billy had offered him a drink — "It'll help you relax." — and Eli had accepted it gratefully. 

One of the last things he could remember clearly was Billy asking "How does it feel?" and the cold smirk, so unlike his warm smiles earlier, on his lips. And how weird his voice had sounded when he had breathed "What is this?", before the glass slipped from his fingers and shattered on the floor.

Eli remembered how he had laid on the bed on his back, unable to control his body, and Billy's hands slowly undressing him. He remembered the hapless tears running down his cheeks. He remembered the sound of unbuckling a belt.. And waking up alone, butt-naked in the shadowy room. Then how Logan was helping him to take a shower. 

Benjamin's lips on his, crying on the bed, waking up and having only a distant idea of what must have happened during the evening: he had slept with another man.

"God, I'm so sorry." Benjamin breathed shakily. "I'm so sorry.. I should have realized something wasn't right."

"No, I shouldn't have lied. I started remembering some of the things when the drug wore off, but I still kept lying." Eli sighed. He tilted his chin on the side to look at Benjamin. "It's just that.. It was already so hard before and I thought I couldn't possibly keep living after what happened. I thought you would just kick me out and hate me, so it wouldn't be so hard for you if I was gone."