Don't Fall In Love

My Goodbye...

Alexei’s P.O.V.

            I sat in silence. The only thing I could hear was the ticking from the clock and my breathing. I wasn’t hungry, wasn’t thirsty. I couldn’t feel a god damned thing. But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to feel anything anymore.

            After Rowan left, I instantly went to go try and find her. Convince her that what we had done hadn’t been a mistake. But she had gone back to him, back to Jaxon. I had tried and tried to make up for my mistakes with Rowan but each time I had failed. Failed to make her happy and failed to bring her back to me.

            So I sat. Conflicted.

            Rowan was going to go on a tour with Jaxon and during that time I would be alone. She wouldn’t care to call me, make sure I was okay. Tell me she still cared. Nothing.

            I was slowly entering a black hole that I wouldn’t be able to come back out of.

            This was my final goodbye.

***

Rowan’s P.O.V.

            We were having a final band practice tonight before the competition tomorrow. I sat on the couch watching them perform when my phone started to ring. I saw the contact and it was Alexei.

            I stood up and immediately walked outside the door.

“Alexei?” I said into the phone.

“I’m sorry Rowan. I love you.” Was all I heard before the sound of a gun going off.

            I screamed and my phone fell from my shaky hands.

“Rowan?” I heard Jaxon yell.

            I crumbled to the ground and froze. I knew Jaxon was talking to me but I couldn’t compute.

            I rocked back and forth as tears fell down my face.

“He’s gone.” I said over and over.

“Who’s gone?” Sam said to me.

            I looked over at my phone and Dustin picked up my phone.

“Alexei.” He said looking at me and Jaxon with sad eyes.

***

“We have to go over there Jaxon.” Keith said holding his drum sticks in his hand.

“I know! I know dammit. Sam, could you take Rowan back to your place and- and watch her while we take care of this.” Jaxon said looking over at him.

            I tried to stand and object but I couldn’t so all I did was mutter out a ‘no.’

“What do you mean no?” Sam said looking at me in the eyes.

“I mean no. I need to see him. He is- was my friend. The first person to care about me. I need to see him. This has gone too far and it’s my fault. Take me to Alexei’s.” I said tears running down my face.

I started to hear Jaxon disagree with me but I didn’t give him a chance to.

“Take me there now!” I said looking up at him.

            Jaxon ran a hand through his hair and the others were so quiet.

“Fine.”

***

            The sirens blared in my ear as they pull into Alexei’s parking lot. Tears flooded down my cheeks and I could barely stand up.

Never had I ever felt this… alone. My life consisted of feeling alone and I thought I had gotten used to it but the truth was, I had never really felt truly alone until now. Yes, I had the guys, but that’s all I had Alexei was the last person I knew from my life before I met Jaxon, Sam, Dustin, Keith, and Ben. Everyone else was gone.

“Rowan. Rowan you need to get out of their way babe.” I heard Jaxon say in my ear quietly.

            I didn’t nod or anything. I just stepped a little bit to my right and starred at the men trying to get into the locked house.

            My only wish was that Alexei was finally happy. He hadn’t been the same since his brother’s death and now all this household was a place of death.

            Tears began to roll down my face again but this time I wasn’t silent. This time I wanted the whole world to know how much I hated myself. How I hated Alexei. How I wished I hadn’t been in this situation. How I wished that I hadn’t ever meet Alexei Evans.

            It was all Jaxon could do to hold me in his arms without me falling to the ground in sobs.

“I know Rowan. I know baby.” I heard Jaxon repeat in my ear in hopes for me to calm down but little did he know that I knew he had no idea what has happening in my fucked up mind.