i hate u

E15

Elliott only had one spare bed so y/n and Five had to share, but they didn't mind. Y/n turned over to look at the clock as it flashed, 5 a.m. She sighed deeply, not being able to sleep without her meds. Part of her wanted to go back to the institution, she didn't trust herself without her doctor, without her meds, without the safety of her room. She felt like she was constantly being followed, watched, listened to. Like behind every corner, someone hid, gaining information about her, finding out who she was. She felt like 5 am was early enough that if she got caught awake, not too many questions would be asked, so she slowly and silently slipped out of bed and into the kitchen, pouring  herself a mug of coffee to help with the tiredness. She stood with her hands in her head in the kitchen with one of Elliott's sharper knives, debating her options. She felt like she should go back to the institution but she knew she couldn't. She also felt like any minute she could pick up the knife and just... end it. As she ran her hands through her head, she felt the plastic packaging of the pills from the day she escaped rustling. She emptied the bag into her hand before swallowing them all with a glass of water.

She stared blankly at the knife in silence until she heard the door open, she turned around to see Five, Diego and Lila walk into the apartment,
"Hey n/n, what are you doing up?" Five asked, walking over to her as she quickly hid the knife under her blazer,
"Oh nothing I.. was just getting a drink. Yeah a drink" She stuttered, picking up the glass of water and smiling at him. Him and Lila went through to the other room, leaving Diego and y/n alone,
"You can put down the knife and stop acting sober now y/n, no point trying to hide from me" He said, walking over to the girl and holding out his hand. She sighed, placing the knife in his palm, watching as he examined it for blood,
"Does he know?" He asked, earning nothing but a confused look back, "Five? Does he know about... al of this?" He asked the girl, gesturing to her as she started laughing,
"Noo and I want to keep it that way okay?" She replied,
"Fine but you gotta stop putting that shit in your body, you got any left?" He asked, sounding genuinely worried for her,
"No, I finished 'em off" She replied, giggling as she did. She stopped laughing when Five appeared in the doorway,
"You guys coming through?" He asked, looking at them,
"yeah.. we're coming" Diego replied, tugging on his  sister to follow,
"Actually Diego, I need to talk to y/n a second, just.. we'll be through in a minute" Y/n shot Diego a worried look, maybe Five had found out somehow, she took a deep breath and stepped into the bedroom after Five,
"you never told me why they had you locked up in there" Five said, looking at her carefully, knowing something was wrong but he couldn't quite put his finger on it,
"Oh.. yeah no course... I.. was trying to convince.. dad? That I was his daughter. Yep that's why, no... no other reason" She lied, smiling innocently. He stared at her for a minute, trying to figure out what was going on with her,
"Okay.. are you sure you're okay?" He asked again,
"Yeah I'm completely fine. Let's just get back to the others yeah?" She said, opening the door and walking through to Diego and Lila, taking a seat next to Diego who smiled at her softly, putting his arm around his shoulder.
"You know what guy's I gotta go see someone. I promised them I would when I got out the institution.. I'll be back in a few hours" She announced, standing up and walking through to the kitchen, sneaking a $20 bill from Elliott's wallet. As she turned around, she saw Diego stood behind her,
"I can't let you go y/n, I can't let you do this to yourself" He whispered so nobody else could hear him,"
"Well good luck stopping me" She whispered back,
"Don't.. you're gonna leave me with no choice and I'll have to take you back" he replied sadly, knowing it was needed,
"Yeah? Maybe I should be there" She spat before pushing past him and walking out the apartment. Diego went back into the living where Five was waiting,
"Alright listen here Diego, something's going on with her and I know you know." He said in a threatening tone, walking up to him,
"I don't know what you're on about Five, I was just telling her to be careful.. ya know... lots of people are gonna be looking for us" He lied, glaring at Lila indicating that she should keep her mouth shut. Fives attention shifted to Elliott who had clearly just woken up, walking into the room,
"Elliott, did you develop these photos yourself?" Five asked, pointing at the pictures taken from the rooftop,
"Yeah I.. I mean I can't exactly drop that stuff off at the neighbourhood Fotomat," He explained, "Government has eyes everywhere.." He whispered the last part, glancing at the window on the other side of the room,
"I didn't see a darkroom" Diego added, 
"Oh yeah I converted the hallway closet" Elliott pointed at the door in the kitchen,
"Can you develop this for me?" Five asked, pulling an orange box from his blazer and handing it to Elliott,
"Huh.. 'Frankel footage'. Friend of yours?" He asked,
"Cousins on my robot mother's side," He said sarcastically, making Lila scoff, "Can you do it or not?"
"Sure.. it'll take a while though... five, maybe six hours."
"Fine, gives me enough time to find y/n" Five muttered, about to leave but Diego grabbed his arm,
"Maybe you should just leave her for now, she'll be back in her own time" Diego suggested. Five blinked out of Diego's grip, walking up to him and jabbing his finger into Diego's chest sharply,
"You can't tell me what to do. She's my girlfriend and I want to know if she's okay, unless there's something you need to tell me"
"Girlfriend? Aren't you all siblings?" Lila asked, Five simply glared at her, he didn't trust her and didn't care for her questions,
"Fine. But, let me come.. I want to find her too" Diego replied, heading for the door,
"Whatever" Five muttered, following Diego out the door and into the street.