| When We Were in Love | |H.S|

| 17 | Spaces |

"Spaces between us,

Hold all our secrets,

Leaving us speechless,

And I don't know why.

Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye?"

-Spaces, One Direction. 2014.

| Lily |

It was the next day and I felt as if I didn't sleep at all. The restless night I had of just on and off crying really drained me. It was nearly three in the afternoon and I felt like I needed to continue to lay in bed. I had already called into work earlier because I knew I couldn't deal with anything today. I needed to just cry and I just couldn't. I suddenly heard a door open from down the hallway and footsteps walking towards me. I shifted uneasy as they came closer. Finally, they reached outside my door and a knock followed.

"Lily?" Harry's raspy choice called out. I couldn't find it in me to answer him. I felt scared. Not of him, but of what could happen if we continue to argue. I was too scared to lose him. He was all I ever knew.

"Lily.. can we talk?" He said knocking once again. I still couldn't get myself to speak nor could I feel calm after the 'can we talk?' question.

"Lily..." Harry knocked softly once more before slowly opening the door. As I laid there, I just stared at the ceiling while I seen him from the corner of my eye, coming closer to me.

"You know..." he said softly as he walked over and knelt down in front of me.

"There's some movies out... Some we haven't seen yet.. Maybe we can catch a showing tonight.." he softly suggested as he played with the loose strands of my hair that was hanging off the edge of the couch.

I just wanted to be left alone and left here to cry by myself. It honestly physically hurt being this sad. I haven't felt this in a long time... And I didn't think the pain would be coming from him.

"Lily.. Please talk to me..." he said softly while still played with my hair.

"Why have you been this way with me...?" I softly asked. Harry let out a sigh and turned his face from me and leaned his back against the couch and looked forward while I continued to look straight up at the ceiling.

"Have I been acting different?" he asked in the same tone as mine. I began to feel tears filling the brim of my eyes as I prepared to answer him.

"I feel like.. You just don't care anymore..." I said in an even softer tone. I could see from the corner of my eye, he put his head down and his breathing shifted a bit.

"That's not true at all... believe me, it's not," he said. I didn't really know what to think at the moment. How could I think such things when he's the one who saved me. He took me in and away from such a terrible place I once called home. He was the reason why I now had something to call a life. He was my life. He was my reason to keep going.

"I wake up to nothing but a 'good morning' now Harry..." I began to explain. His head slightly turned to the side so I could see his side profile just a bit while he still avoided looking at me directly.

"I used to wake up to kisses... hugs... Sometimes I wouldn't even wake up with you because you'd let me sleep in so you could make me breakfast..." I said now with a few more tears in my eyes now. As he looked to the side, he licked his lips a bit and pressed his lips together a bit unsure of what to say.

"We used to be inseparable... Now it's like you just work, come home, and sleep," I said. Harry then looked straight again so I couldn't see the emotions on his face now.

"I'm not saying I want breakfast in bed every day or you to spend all of your time with me or anything but.... Am I boring you..? I mean... Am I not enough anymore?" I asked. Harry instantly turned around and grabbed my hand that was laying on my stomach. He pulled my hand close to his chest as he hovered near me. As he held my hand with one of his and close to his chest, his other hand pointed at me as it shook ever so slightly.

"D-Don't," Harry stuttered. "Don't you ever say again. Do you understand me?" he questioned while still looking at me, but I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. The tears in my eyes then fell from my eyes as I blinked.

"Lily... You are everything I have ever wanted.. Nothing and no one in this entire world will ever change that. You have my whole heart.. I would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant I could be with you forever," he explained.

"I couldn't imagine my life without you," before he could carry on, I cut him off.

"Your life before me was perfect," I blurted out. He then quickly stood up and sat on the couch next to me, while I looked straight ahead. He then placed his other hand on my cheek and gently pulled my face towards him.

"I had nothing," he admitted. "I had a bank account full of money with nothing and no one to spend it on. I had a house full of meaningless items. I had cars with nowhere to go. I had a heart that belonged to no one until you came along," by now, Harry's voice was now shaky and slowly starting to break in front of me.

"You weren't stressed.." I said back.

"You didn't have all these bills to worry about... You didn't have to worry about getting hurt at work every single day.. You didn't have to stop seeing your family... You didn't have to be with me Harry..." By now, my tears were pouring from my eyes. I couldn't help it. I began to feel guilty for what felt like ruining Harry's life. Harry's eyes then began to tear up as well as he pushed the hair from my face and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"Don't you ever think that you ruined my life," he told me firmly.

"You in no way ruin my life. You saved it, and if you hadn't come along, I don't know where I would be right now and I am so damn thankful for you every single day Lily," he explained now with a broken voice as tears flooded his eyes as well.

I slowly sat up and held his hand very tight as he sat close to me. I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him forward, placing my forehead against his.

"I love you," I softly said as I now closed my eyes. Harry sniffled a bit as he pulled my hands up and kissed them. I knew I loved him and I knew he loved me but how long would this work? I'd hope forever but nothing really lasts forever.

"I can't lose you," I said.

"And you won't," Harry quickly said back. I took a deep breath in and let out a sigh as I looked up at him and made eye contact for the first time in awhile.

"For now... But how long until this doesn't work anymore Harry?..."

Harry looked at me a bit shocked and confused at my response and I could tell, he didn't know what to say.

"I can't lose you but why do I feel like it's a possibility every day?... why does it feel like I already have?..."