His Greatest Redemption [REUPLOADED]

49

Spade

I was about five when I first figured out that my parents were a fucking abomination. Apart, they were their own evil fucks. But together? They were fucking monsters. At that age, I didn't really remember much, but I knew that as I grew up, their toxicity was something that poisoned my view on things like marriage and relationships.

I told myself that I'd never want any of that.

Emotions were a liability, not a necessity.

And I grew up to be the man I was, surrounded by all the shit I grew up around, and I saw how vulnerable all that shit made even the most cruel motherfuckers become. And in my world, people find even the smallest things they think you care about and will break it. To hurt you.

I didn't believe in any of that shit, monogamy especially, until I met someone who made me not want to be with anyone else. It was cliché as fuck, but it was the truth.

Samantha was something I didn't see coming. And I saw everything. I didn't realize just how important she had become until it was almost too late. I was losing my fucking mind, thinking of all the shit she was going through and all the ways I would make those fuckers pay. The idea of him touching her— hurting her, it drove me fucking feral.

And then I got her back, and lost Amo all in the same night.

I was a selfish, vile motherfucker. I knew that. If things would've gone my way, Amo would still be in one piece and Sam...Sam wouldn't be beating herself up with guilt. Shit didn't go my way, but I knew that without a shadow of a doubt if I had to choose, It'd be her. Always.

The thought of being in this fucked up world without her in it had me feeling like there was a hole being burned in my stomach. If something happened to her, I wouldn't be too fucking far behind.

She made me want to do things like be better, because that's what she deserved.

Amo was like a brother to me. We met when we were all kids, training and hanging loose behind our fathers. I would've taken that bullet for him, would've taken his place, but I didn't love him. I respected him, cared about him, even. But that was it. I didn't think it was possible for me to love anyone.

I'd never felt it. My emotions were cut off when I was a kid.

Or at least I thought so.

Somehow, between all the shit that had been going on, Sam became the exception. I didn't know when I came to this realization, but fuck, I could love, even if it was dark and tainted as fuck, but only her. That was all I could do.

She was too good for me and I would probably never be enough for her. I knew that. But it didn't stop me from wanting her. It didn't stop me from starting a fucking war in her name and it sure as hell didn't stop me from claiming her like she was made for me or some shit.