I Was First | Joshua Hong

Epilogue

Recently, our holiday break came to an end and we had to go back to school. And to sum up what happened to the rest of the holiday break after that new year's eve, I spent time almost every day with Joshua.

In those few number of days, I have come to conclude that being friends with someone is so much different when you actually stepped up from the relationship you used to have and become lovers.

I thought the way how Joshua treated me when we were still bestfriends was already greater than I deserve, yet when we really did took things seriously between us, I felt as if I was the luckiest person and perhaps, just maybe, gathering my courage that night and showing my feelings to him was a great idea.

A smile voluntarily plastered on my face as soon as I spotted Joshua who was standing right infront of our school building. He was at the exact place I told him to be when I and a few of my classmates had to do a task our teacher told us, and that way, he had to wait for me for quite awhile.

He started waving his hand when he probably saw me as well and that's when I started to speed up and jogged my way towards him. And somehow, while I was halfway to getting myself to where he was, I have come to realize what he was doing to me. I mean, I can't believe how excited I was getting just to be right in front of him.

"Sorry if it took awhile, they wouldn't just end it.", I apologetically smiled at him, which in relief, he must've accepted already when he let out a chuckle.

"It's fine. And I had a few talks with DK and Jeonghan before I started waiting for you here."

We somehow started to take slow steps, paving our way out of the campus to walk home. Occasionally, we would walk home from school together, we would stop by somewhere at times and it would be more like, like how Lily would say it, an after school date.

It wasn't no different from the past walk homes we did, our conversations which contains how our days went and a few of everyday things, were the same as how we used to do it, but for some reason, after we declared our day one, I feel much more thrilled and it felt as if there were winged larvae flying around inside my stomach.

"I'm so glad that your friendship with DK didn't end. I would've feel even more guilty if it happens so."

Dokyeom and I started talking at some point when classes began, and like he said at that party, we still remained friends, but I can't deny how distant we ended up being, we weren't that close like how we used to. And I admit, I missed those times when I spent so much time laughing with his humor and how nice he was towards me.

"Why did he even end up liking you?", He asked, and I don't know if it was just a plain question, but it sure sounded like an insult.

I looked down at the road, quietly sighing. "I know, right?"

"Did you perform an exorcism to him or some sort?"

"Believe me, wanting him to like me didn't even cross my mind. I would've done it if I have no life, but I really don't have a life but I won't go to the extent of doing that. And I don't even know how to do exorcism, I only say it to scare people and I can't believe they believed me."

"Because you're like the type of person to know such.", His words were actually starting to hurt. I don't even know why he brought up the topic about what happened between Dokyeom and I. But if it was his way to comfort people who are going through guilt because they rejected someone who liked them, he sure wasn't comforting.

"Well, I can't deny that.", I just took a sigh then again, wanting the walk to just end already. I just wanted to cover my ears and not listen to his somewhat sounding mean words.