I Was First | Joshua Hong

Chapter 9

It was already around eight in the morning, and I was just at the living room, watching whatever was showing on the television.

I didn't know what time did I wake up but it was early enough that I even get to see my parents before they went to work.

After waking up, I immediately took a shower, thinking that he's probably coming any moment. I hate taking cold showers in the morning but someone's coming, and I don't want to welcome him not looking welcoming...

He didn't tell me what time when he'll come, therefore, I didn't have any choice but to kill time in doing some random things while probably waiting for him.

Why am I even trying this hard?

Who cares if he sees me waking up? Nothing's going to change, and it's not like he's attracted to me for me to even conclude that he'll find me unattractive if he ever sees me waking up again.

But I'm here now, and all that's left for him is to come. Great.

Just then, the sound of the doorbell woke me up from my daydreaming that I even slightly flinched. I just heard two rings but it took me quite a lot of time to even process that it did ring and someone's out there.

I rose up from my seat, walked out of the house and saw Joshua crouching at the front lawn petting Winton. To be quite honest, I got in dazed for a short while staring at Joshua looking fondly at Winton.

I don't even know why he was glowing, the sky was cloudy and the sun wasn't even above him.

"Joshua.", as I walked closer to where he was, I called him out. He faced me, still with the smile he was giving to Winton.

For the last time, he patted Winton's head before standing up and took a couple of steps towards me.

"I thought you were still sleeping."

"Really? Are you being serious right now?", I gave him a look of disbelief as I scoffed.

"It took you a long time to go out after I pressed the doorbell and I thought you were serious about sleeping until night.", He just looked at me with his oh so innocent smile. It could flatter people, and I hate to say it but it's probably one of the reasons why I catched feelings. Sigh...

"I just said it so you wouldn't come."

I'm completely against the idea of him coming over so often, because for pete's sake, I'm trying to get over my feelings for him, and if he constantly pops right in front of my eyes, unliking him would be close to impossible.

"And you expect me to not be hurt after telling me that you don't want me to come? You're heartless Hiah."

Then again I was left in disbelief. My nose flared as my brows knitted. What the heck is he saying?

"Who the heck would immediately say yes if someone suddenly tells them that they're coming over. We didn't negotiate well."

"You.", My eyebrows twitched. "You wouldn't say no whenever I ask you."

Words that I just formed in my head and I desperately wanted to rant at him, all went away. I was at lost of words that all I wanted was to stop time and think more straight for awhile.

"Though sometimes you would at first, but you'll end up saying yes.", I pursed my lips, looking elsewhere, trying to quickly come up with words to say back.

"A-Alright. I guess you're really coming over. L-Let's just go inside.", I faced my back on him and walked first to the door.

What a way to fluster someone.

I opened the door, and when I looked back, he was already behind me which literary caused my soul to almost leave my body.

I immediately faced front again and continued to make my way to the living room.

I should better calm down quickly before he even gets suspicious. Come on, I'm better than this.

I stood beside the center table, waiting for him to get there too. I swear, I feel like I look so awkward standing still in here. If he says something weird again, it will probably be the end for me.

Once he got closer, he looked around, while his lower was thrusting out a little. "Is Lily still sleeping?", He asked.

At the same time, we both looked at each other. I couldn't help but had my eyes looking elsewhere constantly but I tried to restrain myself from creating the atmosphere awkward.

"Uhm...S-She went with Mom to work, since she didn't have class too.", I cleared my throat. "Mom brought her after telling Mom that she can't live another day with just the two of us...well, the feelings are mutual.", Out of my frustrations towards her, I couldn't help but say everything that was on my mind, but I just mumbled every words that was relating to us not wanting to be alone together.

"When will you two stop quarrelling?", I made my voice really low so I would be the only to hear it, but it seemed like he did too.

"When she goes back to Mom's womb?"

"But that won't happen."

"Exactly!"

"You're way older than her. Shouldn't you be the understanding one?", I looked at him, bitterly forging a smile.

"I'm trying to understand her, but whenever I hear just a teensy word from her... I don't even know what I could possibly do.", I let out a sigh. "You would know how I feel if you have a sibling, let alone have one like Lily."

"I tried asking my Mom for a little sibling."

"Then what happened?", I suddenly got curious. I've haven't heard Joshua telling me that he once asked his parents for a sibling before. It's a bit surprising, even for me.

"They told me I should just have a baby soon instead."

I literally almost choked on my own saliva. His words escalated so fast, it was hard to process but it revolved inside my mind once I got to grasp on it.

I weirdly eyed him, but at the same time, the atmosphere between us became a bit awkward, and so not right.

Is he even thinking twice on what's he's saying?

"T-Then what?", That just randomly came out of my mouth. At this rate, I don't even know if this is how normal people converse nowadays. This feels really weird, I swear.

I want to take back what I just said but he suddenly looked like he was thinking, and like how any human would do, I guess, I got curious and just waited for what he could possibly say.

"I don't really know...", To my actual disappointment, that was all just he said. What was the use of thinking when he ended up saying that he doesn't know?

"This conversation is really getting out of hand.", I whispered to myself.

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's just watch whatever you got there.", I sat first on the couch and he just followed, sitting beside with a pillow in-between us.

How I would risk everything just so I could forget what he said earlier, everything that he said.

"Mingyu recommended me this movie days ago."

"What is it?"

"I think it's like about vampires, though I remembered that Mingyu said that this is already the fourth series...but he said it's alright... it's still understandable."

Joshua stood up and went to the TV to insert the flash drive, and while he was at it, I just followed him with my eyes.

Why would we skip all the way to the fourth series? I don't even know if it's really understandable knowing that it's already that far.

I don't know what's going on inside the both of their minds but it's worth the shot.