illicit | five hargreeves - EDITING

twenty eight

chapter twenty eight: alone

"Please, whatever you do, don't let go of my hand. I need you to stay with me"

Those few words rang in Anthony's head repeatedly as he lay on the ground in a random alleyway that he had just been dropped into. He wasn't exactly sure when, but at some point he must've accidentally let go of Five's hand, despite his desperate efforts not to.

He could feel the cold and rocky pavement that was underneath him. It hurt his body, but he didn't really have the time to even comprehend that at that moment, because he had a lot bigger things to worry about. Anthony didn't really have any idea where or even when he was, but he already could sense that his husband had made a terrible mistake.

Anthony looked up at the sky, watching as the portal that had thrown him to the ground only seconds ago, closed up right before it disappeared entirely.

Wherever he was, it was raining heavily, and he could feel the cold drops of water that splashed against his head and his body repeatedly, which only caused him to shiver more than he already had been. He glanced around the abandoned area as much as he possibly could with his back against the ground, letting out a small noise of pain at the action, but there was not a single person in sight. 

His first immediate thought was of Number Five, and his obvious absence is what forced the boy to sit up with a pained groan, his whole body aching more than it previously had been. Anthony looked up at the sky once again, just incase the portal would decide to open again and spit out another Hargreeves; it didn't, and as he looked up he could feel the raindrops falling against his face, causing him to look back down almost immediately. He looked down at his hands, just to make sure that they were still their regular colour.

Anthony always feared the worst, and maybe he was right to in this situation; because if the siblings weren't with him, where were they? Were they even still alive? Were they okay? Were they hurt? And most importantly of all, was Five okay?

Maybe it's a terrible thing for him to say or even for him to think, but he knew that he would quickly accept them all being dead if only it meant that Five would be okay. Anthony didn't think he could afford to loose any of them at this stage, but Jesus, there was no way in hell he could ever handle loosing Number Five.

He didn't bother to say anything, because who would he even say anything to? No one was there to listen, and he would just be wasting his breath. So he just silently looked around in a final and desperate hope of seeing Five, or any of the Hargreeves for that matter, but preferably and ideally his husband. After a minute or two, it was clearly very obvious that he was alone, and he began to mentally prepare himself for what that was going to be like.

Being alone is always a scary thing, but especially for a person like Anthony, who couldn't risk being alone with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company. Sometimes, our own thoughts really can be our worst enemies, and that always becomes apparent whenever we find ourselves truly and utterly all alone, the times when we're separated from the people we love, who are the only ones who manage to keep us somewhat sane. Anthony felt that a lot, and just the thought of being alone already made him dizzy and he could feel the dread in the very bottom of his stomach at the idea of it.

Anthony knew better than a lot of people what it was like to be alone. He never had siblings, so he spent a lot of his childhood alone. Sure, he had friends, but that was only until there was that rumor that went around his school that he liked kissing boys, after that who could ever possibly want to be friends with a person like that? He always had had his grandparents, but his grandfather died when he was eight and his grandmother when he was fifteen, leaving him alone again. Then he went to the Commission, lived alone for six years until he met Number Five, fell completely head overs heels for the man but only ended up alone again a year later. He spent four months alone without him, came back and tried to stop the apocalypse, but eventually only ended up alone once again.

Somehow he always ended up alone no matter what he did, and this repetitive and pathetic cycle was getting tiring.

Anthony could feel something running down his face, and it oddly tickled as it went down. He reached up, touching the base of his nose before bringing it down to eye level, noticing the crimson blood that stained his fingers. He cringed at it, because he had never been good with blood, and quickly wiped his hand off of his shirt just to get it off of his skin. Anthony then reached up, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, because he didn't have any other options to try and stop the blood from dripping into his mouth.

Anthony leaned his head back, pinching the top of his nose with his fingers. He could almost hear Five's voice scolded him in the back of his mind "You know you can choke if you do that, right?" to which Anthony would reply "That's the point, babe" and then Five would scold him again for just talking like that. He chuckled softly at the thought, but he really had no idea why. Nothing that was happening to him was in any way humorous or happy, but he decided that it was probably better to laugh than to cry.

He really missed Five.

He groaned as he pushed himself up onto his feet, his legs wobbling slightly as he forced himself to stay standing. Anthony turned around and looked behind him, in the hopes of seeing any of the Hargreeves, but he was already pretty sure they were long gone by now. He did see a flash of a camera in the corner of his eyes, but when he looked towards it he only saw the man that took it hide himself behind the curtains of his window. Anthony debated whether or not he should go ask the man for help, or maybe even a simple clarification of where he was.

Anthony wondered again where Number Five was right now, because he would've known what to do in this situation. In fact, he wouldn't of even had to think about it for this long, and would've already thought of a full plan on how to fix everything.

But alas, Anthony was not Five, and usually that was probably a good thing, but right now he really wished he was. He had no idea what to do, because he was so painfully oblivious and useless at this kind of thing. There was a reason Five had always been the smart one in their relationship.

Anthony felt extremely lightheaded, stumbling slightly as he took a couple steps forward. He thought that leaving the alleyway would probably be a good idea, since he wasn't going to get anywhere by sitting around and crying. But as he tried to take another few steps forward, his legs stuttered and felt too unsteady. His body felt weird, and he didn't like it at all.

His body had felt all too unsteady since they were back at the Icarus Theatre, before they had even managed to stop Vanya from ending the world. Oh yeah, that happened. And he teleported too, should probably deal with that thing. Anthony thought about it for a moment, wondering if it had actually happened or it he had made the whole thing up; his hands glowing blue, Five's concern, the look on Allison's face. Yeah, that definitely happened. That was a weird thing, but it was honestly the last thing on his mind right now.

He guessed he could blame the pain and the dizziness on his new 'powers' that still made zero sense to him, or else he could blame it on the fact that he had quite literally just been thrown through time like it was nothing. But whatever it was, it was making him feel way too uneasy.

Anthony pressed a hand against the brick wall, using it to try and stable himself. He pressed into it, but it didn't really help him at all, so he turned around and leaned his back against it, and he slowly slid down it until he felt himself back onto the cold pavement once again. He looked up at the sky just one more time, and his vision began blur only seconds before he felt himself loose consciousness completely.