illicit | five hargreeves - EDITING

sixty three

chapter sixty three: careful hands

Five had been through a lot over the past thirty days; three apocalypses so far and having watched his family die over multiple times. Despite all of that, this exact moment was the most hopeless he had ever felt since he first landed in the apocalypse wasteland when he was just thirteen. He felt entirely out of control right now, because there was no way for him to fix everything and save everyone.

It had been his entire life so far; to get back and just save his family so he can live the life he missed out on with them. His family also grew over the time it took; Anthony, Lila and now apparently Sloane, which only made him feel more guilt for the situation now being out of his control.

What hurt the most however was the fact he couldn't save anyone, and that included Anthony, the person he had convinced himself long ago he would be able to save from everything; the Commission, the Handler, the sixties and even his own dark thoughts. But this seemed to be the one thing he couldn't save his husband from and that terrified him.

He found himself restless as he tried to fall asleep that night, tossing and turning while also trying not to move too much with Anthony beside him. After around two hours, he sighed as he leaned back against the pillow.

"Are you okay?" the voice asked from next to him.

Five didn't answer at first, only shaking his head slightly before looking down at him. "I'm fine."

Anthony frowned "You don't look so fine."

Sometimes Five hated how well his husband knew him, the way he was able to tell his facial expression even in the dimly lit room. "Just tired."

"Why are you still awake then?" Anthony asked.

Five sighed, "I can't sleep."

"You want my help with that?" Anthony asked.

"What are you gonna do? No offense darling but I don't think sleep therapy is really your forte," the boy teased lightheartedly.

Anthony looked at him. "I didn't mean like that. I meant...a different type of way" he replied, the faux innocent tone to his voice was enough to let Five know what he was actually talking about.

He considered it, was it really the right time? The entire universe was collapsing and they were the only people left on Earth, it seemed wrong to use their time for things like that.

But as pathetic as it sounds, it had just been so long since Five was able to be intimate with his husband; they shared their small moments in the sixties but it always just left him longing for more every time. When he really thought about it, the last time he had been properly intimate with Anthony was before their break up at Commission, which was roughly five months ago his time and nine months Ant's time.

"I wouldn't object to anything," Five mumbled.

Anthony smiled at him, grabbing his jaw carefully and turning his head towards himself, then leaning up and kissing him softly. It started off pretty soft, both of them just gently moving against each other, until Five moaned into the kiss lowly as he felt his husband's hands roaming his body, down his bare chest and stopping at his nipple, sighing contently as he stimulated him.