illicit | five hargreeves - EDITING

sixty six

chapter sixty six: tonight

Anthony hadn't expected himself to be this upset only thirty minutes before he was supposed to marry who he called the love of his life; this was something he had always wanted ever since the first moment where he realized he was actually in love with him, something he had yearned for even when their relationship was practically in the grave.

He had thought about marriage a lot when he was a kid, being told constantly that someday he would marry some beautiful girl and have a numerous amount of kids with her. That never sounded particularly appealing to him, so much that the thought of marriage disgusted him for years.

The revelation that actually he could have those same exact feelings and that same exact life with a boy was a huge turn around for him; the concept was no longer something he dreaded and something he more so actually really wanted. That dream was basically crushed after learning just how against it is parents and most of his family were, so he always just assumed he would never get married.

In all honestly, the entire situation had never seemed especially alarming to Anthony while he was growing up in it; it's just the way things were, boys go with girls and girls go with boys, nothing changes and everything follows that order. It wasn't anyone else's problem but his own, it was his fault after all for even having those stupid thoughts.

He had learned to just accept everything, he knew he couldn't he exactly who he wanted, but that was just the way it was supposed to be. Anthony knew from a young age that there was no point trying to push back against it, there was simply no other way.

Five Hargreeves was a huge force and the biggest turning point in Anthony's life so far; slowly teaching him not only to love and accept himself, but also to love someone else the way he had been told for years that he never should.

Suddenly it didn't matter anymore what his parents or his therapists had told him, their words literally meant nothing whenever he was in Five's presence. He was so quickly falling in love and he didn't want to even attempt to stop it.

Marrying Five the first time had been a mistake, a drunken accident they were never supposed to even make, but it was secretly one of the most important thing's that had ever happened to him. That tied them together no matter what happened between them, and only kept that connection.

It was definitely gratifying to have the opportunity to marry him again, for real this time, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of dread and grief just at the thought of what would come after that.

They had made so many plans together for a the future, as soon as they had gotten back to 2019 Five had already started planning where they were going to go after leaving the hotel; the life they had always wanted together was finally going to be theirs after all of this time.

Those thoughts had only lasted approximately two days before everything came crashing down on top of them once again; it was so much worse this time compared to the last times, there was no escaping this time and they would just have to deal with the fallout the same way everyone else would.

He hadn't really had time to process all of his thoughts until now, while he was standing alone in a hotel room while the alcohol in his system was slowly loosing its effect already, which definitely was not the most ideal thing.

"You know we're not supposed to see each other right before the wedding," Anthony commented as he stood in front of the mirror at the hotel room, hearing the all too familiar whooshing sound coming from the other side of the room.