Innocence | Severus Snape x Reader

37 - Love

"First place Severus! Can you believe it? I mean I couldn't have done it without you but still- it's... exhilarating, really!" I said excitedly, though I was mindful to keep quiet as we walked. It was night and no one would be in the corridors, so he didn't mind that I came with him to his storage closet.

"Yes, little dove, it is." He gave the faintest trace of a smile, but kept his head forwards and didn't look at me.

"What's wrong, Severus?" I asked him, slowing my pace and he matched it, the both of us eventually come to a stop.

"I don't want you to feel as though I'm holding you back." He said. I was confused for a moment, then remembered the look he had on his face at the lake earlier.

"Is this about George? You know how the twins are, it's all in good fun. It doesn't mean anything, and if it did then I'd set that boundary with them." I explained.

"I understand that. But I just... if it was like that or if it became that I don't want to be the one left behind." He said. He avoided eye contact with me.

I took one of his hands and held it between the two of mine.

"You won't. I would never. I would never-" The sound of heavy footsteps sounded down the hall and I dropped Severus' hand and backed away so I wasn't so close. So that perhaps we could frame this as a friendly conversation.

Severus was good at remaining stoic, however, I likely still had furrowed eyebrows and an empathetic look on my face when Karkaroff had approached, judging by the way he looked at Severus, then myself, then back to Severus.

There was a thick silence and I was able to catch Severus looking at me. I took that as a sign to g back. I went in the same direction Severus and I had come from. 

As I walked back I thought of two things. One, how much had Karkaroff seen, and two, what I would say to Severus when the topic of my relationship with the twins came back up. 

As I was walking I passed Harry in the halls and gave him away. 

It was probably about thirty seconds too late that I realized that I should stop him before he walked in on whatever conversation Igor and Severus were having that was so confidential, even I couldn't be around for it.  

I quickly turned back around and tried to quicken my pace to catch up with Harry, but by the time I had, I was back to the closet. I could hear Severus' voice from within as Harry lingered outside of it, and there was no sign of Karkaroff. 

"Should you ever steal from my personal stores again, my hand might just slip over your morning pumpkin juice." I heard Severus say as I got closer. 

It was almost odd to hear him speak that way. I hadn't heard him speak that way to anyone in years, since I was a student. I forgot that the grumpy old dungeon bat even existed. 

"I haven't stolen anything-" Harry said. 

"Don't. Lie. To me."Severus said, and his eyes glanced up, finally noticing me standing behind Harry. 

"He's not lying, sir. He didn't steal it. I did." I said, defending Potter. This was also my way of poking fun at Severus. He knew I was lying but he knew he could say nothing. "I stole it for both myself and Harry. I apologize, I didn't know where else to get it from on such short notice. I'll pay it back." I said, taking the tone of a guilty student. 

Harry looked back at me, confused but thankful. 

"I believe it is against the rules to help another teammate like that, Miss L/N," Severus responded. 

"I don't believe so. If anything I was risking only my chance at success to help him. Besides it's not as if I were a teacher or... judge helping him, sir." I said. 

"Well," Severus looked away from me and back to Potter, "Gillyweed may be innocuous but boomslang skin, lacewing flies, you and your little friends are brewing polyjuice potion, and believe me, I'm going to find out why!" He said, raising his voice at Harry. "Now off to bed!" 

Naturally, I turned to leave to go with Harry. It was like I was being lectured by my teacher and then angrily dismissed from class all over again. 

"Not you, Y/N," Severus said sternly. I didn't know if his use of my first name was a slip of tongue or not.

I went back and stood by the door. The both of us waited before we couldn't hear anything in the corridors nearby before speaking. 

"I'd still like your help." He said, now he was speaking in a much softer and more recognizable tone for me. 

"I'd be glad to." 

I entered the closet and closed the door behind me s Severus and I would be able to maintain privacy while we were here.

"Why did you defend him?" Severus asked. 

"Kids had a long day with finding Barty and all that. Give him a break Severus. I know you enjoy yelling at kids, but sometimes it's a bit much." I explained while I started sorting through herbs and ingredients on the bottom shelves. 

"May we return to our earlier conversation?" He questioned from on the ladder. 

"Yes, Severus, are you jealous?" 

"Yes." He admitted. 

"Why?"

"That isn't important-"

"Yes, it is. Identifying insecurities is the first step to banishing jealousy." I explained. 

"Because he's younger. Better looking. He doesn't have such a boring and depressing life, he doesn't keep secrets, you don't have to worry about being seen with him, the list goes on Y/N."

"While those are all genuine and valid concerns, some of those are the reason I like you. I could go on for quite a while about why I prefer your looks over that of George. Or why I like that your life is so ordinary and plain." I said to him, "You've explained that the secrets you keep are to protect me and that you'll tell me when necessary." 

"I see the way you look at him though. The way he looks at you. There is a reason he was at the bottom of the lake and not me." 

"Yes there is a reason, and that reason is that Dumbledore wouldn't want people questioning why you're my treasure, and you're also a teacher." 

It was hard to calm his thoughts, especially because I never knew these insecurities were an issue for him. 

"My relationship with the Weasley twins is purely platonic," I stated. I glanced up at him and he kept his focus on the task at hand.

"Is it?" 

"But what if the day comes that it no longer is?" 

"It won't come, Severus, I'm already in love with you." I pulled my attention away from the items on the bottom shelf and turned my body towards him to look up at him. 

He too paused and looked down at me, and went down a few steps on the ladder. 

"You love me?" He asked. 

He said it in such a way that made it sound like he genuinely could not believe, or even fathom the idea that I did. 

"Of course, I love you, Severus." I approached him and brought my hand up to hold his face as I did. "And for as long as I'm breathing, I always will." 

"Always?" 

"Always."