Playing The Game - Book Four in The WSU Series

- Chapter Thirty-Eight -

Ten Minutes Before

"Nothing good will come from you running, you do know that, right?"

I know the answer to Arias's question before I even had to think, yes. Nothing good will come from me running, my father will lose his mind. Kian will probably want me dead, there are no pros for anyone else but me. Four hours and then I'm leaving, I'm gone.

"Have you thought this through?" Arias's face is full of sympathy, she knows the consequences of what would happen if this didn't work out. It's a shame because I know them too, and I've come to terms with them. I was once convinced when my father sent me to Pullman, it'd be the end of me. But in a sick way, it gave me another reason to live. God, how I wished I was like the girls, I once believed I was. "I can't tell you plans," I say as I lean against the stone-like railing, Aria stands with her arms wrapped around her as the cold becomes more apparent. As I look up I see the night is filled with stars as bright as lights. "How will I know you're okay?" Aria questions and her eyes soften at the realization that she won't know. No one will, because if I do— that opens up a trail, a trail I don't need.

"I'll be fine," I reassure, Aria nods but I know she doubts me. I can't blame her, this is a crazy idea. All because I can't be kept locked up in an apartment in New York. Because I know it'll happen, I'll fuck up some way, and my father will tell Kian to keep me indoors. I refuse to move into his apartment. I know I should care about college, I know that, but I don't. I know what the future holds for me if I stay, and I don't like it. I'd rather die than stay locked up and alone. Because those are two very different things, being locked up and alone, and being free, and alone.

Somewhere hot, that's what Gio would want. I want to live, and going back to Pullman, like nothing ever happened— is not the way to live. Kian knows it too, he doesn't need college either, he'll tell the boys he's going into the, "family business." Whereas I'll tell the girls I'll change college. They won't argue with me, because they trust the decisions I make. They shouldn't, but they would.

"I don't want you to get hurt," I almost scoff at Arias' statement. I want to ask her where she's been for the past two years, but I don't. I've heard the stories, everyone in The Outfit has. It's safe to say Aria really earned her nickname, Spitfire. Maybe she's living for the both of them. I wished I could of. "I thought you stopped caring a long time ago," I say and Aria stares at me blankly. We both remember how our conversation went at the funeral.

"Don't be like that," Aria mutters almost like she's accepting defeat, she knows she stopped caring long ago. "Where have you been?" I ask with a shrug, my eyes softening at her slowly breaking. What has she done for the past two years? "You knew I had to leave," Aria confesses as if I understand what she's saying. "Do I?" I question, as I watch Aria wipe her palms over her eyes to stop the tears.

"Shit went down, I left, I'm leaving again tomorrow," she admits, "I can't stay here, not while he's still in the city," Aria whispers. "Who?" I dare to ask but Aria just shakes her head, "when I left after the funeral, I didn't look back, but if I knew you needed me, I would of stayed."