Intruder Inside My Soul (EDITED)

51

“Any news about Travis?” I asked dad who just returned home. It’s been almost a week and Travis still hadn’t woken up.

“No. His condition is still the same. He did suffer serious brain damage, but everyone is positive he will make it. We just need to give him more time.” Dad smiled reassuringly, but I knew better than to believe him. I saw Travis. His face was destroyed. I don’t think he’ll ever be the same. That is, if he wakes up. What Tyler did to him it was inhuman. No one deserves to suffer like that. Especially not Travis.

When Alex explained to me that Tyler thought I was cheating on him with Travis, everything made sense. He must’ve seen us together, hugging. And Travis kissed my cheek. From behind, it could look like more happened. That is no excuse none the less. Tyler should have never attacked Travis. He could have just yelled at us. It would give me a chance to explain, but no. He had to be psychotic and attack.

“Ok.” I answered tiredly and went back to my room, where I had spent last days suffering from my own thoughts. They were confusing me so much. Driving me crazy. I couldn’t forget the broken look on Tyler’s face. The way his eyes shone with tears. I wanted to run to him, to comfort him and beg for his forgiveness. After all, this was my fault. Then an image of Travis’s unconscious body comes to my mind and I want Tyler to pay for what he had done. How could I ever trust him again? Especially with our child? Would he lose control around us? Would he hurt us? That thought seemed ridiculous. No. Even after everything that happened, I didn’t believe he could ever hurt me or our child.

God, I should have never come home. All that I had done was hurt those around me. Because of me, people’s lives were now ruined. I broke down again in tears. I felt so helpless.

I didn’t really come out of my room another few days until Dad forced me to get out of the house. The only reason I listened was because I knew he was right. I had to think about my baby. I was hurting him, and that was the last thing I wanted.

“Tomorrow you have to go to the police station to confirm your testimony. You can’t avoid this any longer. You don’t want them to come and drag you there.” Dad suddenly spoke up.

I gave my testimony the day it all went to shit, but I still had to go and sign it or whatever, so they could use it in the court against Tyler. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Though I knew I couldn’t hide from this. Travis deserved justice and Tyler had to pay for his doings, even if it broke my heart just a little more.

“Ok.” I whispered. After that, we kept walking in silence.

The day was sunny and warm. I noticed a young couple walking together. The guy was pushing a newborn stroller. Unintentionally, my hand went to touch my stomach while my thoughts wondered to Tyler. Would we look so happy together? Would he want to push our baby’s stroller? What kind of stroller he would like us to have? Would he even care? Once again, my mood went to shit. I was so emotional lately. My hormones were going nuts. Everything happening around me just put the fuel to the ever growing fire in my soul.

“Dad?” I spoke up.

“Hm?” He glanced my way.

“How did you feel when you found out about me and Alex? That you were going to be a father?” I think my question took him by surprise as he suddenly stopped.

“Why are you asking?” He looked at me questioningly.

“Just wondering. You have never really talked about this.” I shrugged my shoulders.

He cleared his throat as we kept walking through the city.

“Well, I was shocked, that’s for sure. Your mom and I, you couldn’t call us an item. She was a wild one. Always did whatever the hell she wanted, but she was not one to sleep around. We were close, but not enough to fall in love. We slept together occasionally, sometimes just spent time together. She liked to listen to my stories about the gang. We had been fooling around for a year or so, when suddenly, out of nowhere, she announced that she was pregnant. Just like that, she walked into the clubhouse, came to me and said - I’m pregnant. First, I wanted to deny that I was the father, but how could I? I was the only one she was seeing. I didn’t know what to do at first. I was panicking. Kids were not in my plans. I was in a gang, for crying out loud. But after a few months, when her stomach started to show, I realized that there was no way out. I had to take responsibility. When I found out we were having twins, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.” He chuckled, making me do the same. Then he continued.

“When I got over this news, I kind of grew to love the idea of having you two. My relationship with your mom grew stronger, too. We decided that we should be together. We had gang’s wedding. We were not husband and wife in the eyes of God or law, but it was close enough. She became my old lady. Then you two came into this world with a loud bang. Literally. There was such a bad storm, thunder was non stop. I knew then that you two would be strong and powerful individuals. I was right.” He took my hand and squeezed it.

“I don’t know about that. Look at me. Look how fucked up everything is.” I sighed.

“I am looking at you. All I see is the strongest and most amazing woman I know. You know, when your mom left, it seemed like an end of the world to me. I thought we were happy. Turned out she had not been for some time. In the letter your mom left me. She said that she loved us very much, but she felt trapped. Like I mentioned, she was a wild person. She was never meant to settle down. At first, I hated her for leaving us. You two were so young. You don’t remember this, but for a few months, you and Alex lived with Grim’s parents. I was a wreck. I drank all the time and would lash out at anyone who looked at me the wrong way. It was Grim who brought me back to life and sanity. Well, technically, he beat that shit into me. He broke my jaw and two ribs. Who knew I needed that to realize I didn’t need your mother, because I had you two. I will never regret what I went through, because it made me the man I am today. A man who raised you two. I love you Amy,” he pulled me into a tight hug.

“I love you too, dad. So, so much.” I relished in the safety I felt being in his arms. Even if just for a short moment, he gave me peace.