Intruder Inside My Soul (EDITED)

54

“Do not go near him, do not give him anything. Stay in your seat. If you are scared or something doesn’t feel right, just push the button on the table on your right and the guards will be there immediately. Now if you understood everything, sign here.” The officer explained the rules I had to follow before I met with Tyler.

I signed the visitors’ sheet or whatever that was and the officer led me through a hallway. We were alone, because Martha stayed behind. My heart was beating like crazy. My hands became sweaty. We stopped in front of a metal door.

“He is in there handcuffed, so you don’t need to be worried, but if anything, remember, we’ll be right outside this door. Just push the button. We were instructed not to interfere otherwise.” The officer said once again. I guess that was Martha’s doing. He then opened the door for me to enter.

I stepped inside and froze when the door closed behind me. My breath hitched while I stared at Tyler’s back on the head. He was wearing orange prisoner’s jumpsuit. His legs were shackled together and his hands cuffed to the table, like the officer said. I was scared, but not of Tyler. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t really know why I was scared. From rejection?

I slowly walked forward with shaking legs.

“Did you come here to mock me?” Tyler spoke. It confused me. Why would I mock him?

“No, I did not.” I spoke. The moment he heard my voice, his head snapped in my direction. He was shocked. It didn’t last long before he became emotionless.

“I thought you were Alex.” That explains what he said before.

“No. Unfortunately, it’s just me.” I spoke in a small voice. I was a nervous wreck. I sat down opposite Tyler. I could feel his eyes on me as I looked down at my hands that were in my lap.

“Why are you here, Amabel?” He finally asked.

“Why did you do it?” I finally looked up at him. That question left my mouth before I had time to stop myself. I already knew why he did it, but deep down, I guess, I wanted to hear it from him.

“Did what?” he asked in a cold tone that made my heart sink just a little more.

“Why did you attack Travis like that? He did nothing wrong.” I asked again. This time, more demanding.

He grinned, but it was not in humor. It was more sadistic. It was quite unsettling to see him like that.

“Did nothing wrong? Your prince charming had it coming since the day one. I warned him to stay away, but did he listen? No. That posh runt tried to steal a bone that was not his.” He said loudly. That cold exterior breaking slowly.

“Travis is a good guy. He wanted nothing more but to help me.” I said.

“Help to get you out of your panties. I am not stupid, so don’t try to wash my brains out with your pathetic excuses.” He seethed with hatred. I think this was what I was so afraid of. To be hated by him. For him to be repulsed by me. My eyes started to water, but I tried to keep tears at bay.

“I’m not. You are so blinded by your jealousy that you can’t see the truth. You don’t want to HEAR the truth.” I said with a hurting heart.

“I wasn’t jealous. I was territorial. Jealous is when you want something that someone else has. Territorial is when you don’t want to share what is yours. But I guess that was my mistake, right? Because you were never mine? You just like to play games. To tease. Maybe that’s what you did with Greg? Did you play games with him too? Was that why he lost his mind over you? Did you drive him crazy?” He said in disgust.

I couldn’t believe my ears. I understood that he hated me, but to that extent? I couldn’t stop tears from falling any longer. He just broke my heart into pieces.

“Please stop. Your tears do nothing but annoy the hell out of me. You know why I am glad that all of this shit happened?” He asked, leaning closer to me over the table, staring right in my eyes. “I am glad that I found out about you, before I did something stupid as to propose to you.” He hissed.

“W... what?” I must have heard him wrong. There was no way in hell he would have proposed to me.

“You know, everyone talked about you so highly, but we both know the truth. You just like to use men. Is Travis your next plaything?” He kept insulting and mocking me.

I just shook my head while waterfalls of tears streamed down my face. I wasn’t toying with anyone. I didn’t use men. I was not like that. I was not.

“Stop.” I begged him, not able to listen to him any longer. I wanted to talk to him and explain everything, but I was not expecting to be insulted like that.

“Why? Does the truth hurt?” He laughed humorlessly.

I stood up abruptly. “You don’t know anything! I was never involved with Travis other than friendly communication! He was my doctor at the hospital and nothing more! When you attacked him at the party, he was trying to comfort me because I was freaking out! I was scared to tell you the truth! Scared that you would leave me!” I yelled. I was done with everything and needed to get this off of my chest to move on with my life.

“Of course I would leave you! I don’t date women that sleep with other men!” He yelled back while yanking at his cuffs. He was trying to free himself.

“Don’t you hear anything I say? I never slept with Travis! I never kissed him! I am not interested in him, because I love you!” I was breathing heavily.

“I saw you two kissing!” He yelled back at me. Both of us were raging.

“We never kissed, God damn it! He was trying to convince me that I shouldn’t be scared to tell you that I am pregnant with your child!” That left Tyler in utter shock. He didn’t move, nor did he seem like he was breathing. I took a deep breath to calm down a little, and then continued. “That you wouldn’t leave me after finding out. I was so scared that you wouldn’t want me anymore, or you would want to get rid of the baby, that I hesitated to speak with you. Every time I was about to tell you, I chickened out. Back at the hospital, I was going to tell you, but you said that you didn’t want anything to change. You wanted there to be just the two of us, so I kept quiet. But deep inside, I was an emotional wreck. I was... Well, still am convinced that I am not good enough for you. I am damaged more than anyone could know. I just don’t show it. But my mind is fucked up.” I pointed at my head with my finger. “I am so fucked up that I will never be able to have a normal relationship. I will always doubt myself and anyone who says they care for me, because why would they? I am weak and scared mess. I never got over what Greg did to me. I was just good at hiding it from everyone, including myself. And then, after all the shit that went down, I found out that I was pregnant. All of that was too much for me. So I did the most stupid thing and hid away. This is all my fault about what happened to you and Travis. For that, I am sorry. None of you deserved it, so I understand your hate for me. I just hope that one day you will be able to put it aside enough to not let it interfere with the relationship of you two.” I held my stomach with my hands. That made Tyler lower his eyes to look at it, but he still kept quiet.

I took out an ultrasound photo of our child from my bra, put it in front of him, and walked out. Before the door closed, I heard him roar my name.

I was broken. My heart shattered. I felt so empty.

Martha was waiting for me by her car. I didn’t talk to her, just got in the passenger seat and closed the door. She got in as well and whispered “morons” before she started the engine.