My Dark Scientist

30 | 4 am, in the bathroom floor

"I never should have called
Cause I knew you would leave me
But I didn't think you could do it so easily
I never should have held your hand
..'Cause, further along, it would cause another fight.
Stranger, that's all I see
...Stranger who knows all my secrets
Can pull me apart and break my heart
...So why do I still care for you?

~ A soulmate who wasn't meant to be, Jess Benko

E L L O R A

There is pin-drop silence all around. Not a single sound. No sign of the fact that there is another soul in this huge mansion.

I had switched off the light, but kept the window open. The moonlight like a pure ray of hope has fallen through the window, and lightened the room in a vague milky white light.

I have been laying in the bed staring at the little corner of the room, the wall and the curtains that are bathed in the moonlight. My pillow is wet- drenched in my tears. Now though, my tears have dried. But my eyes stings and there isn't an ounce of sleep in them.

I hate the darkness and the loneliness. I loathe this feeling of being all alone in this huge dark mansion. No, I'm not afraid of ghosts. Its people I'm afraid of. Ghosts won't try to touch me and make me hate my existence. People would.

Shit. I didn't need that remembrance now. I have been trying not to think about that, and clearly I am failing miserably. The darkness and the silence is triggering yesterday's memories.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I curl up in myself, shutting my eyes tightly.

I don't want to think about the thousand pair of hands.

Don't think about that.

Don't think about that.

Don't think about that.

Don't think abou-
I jump up, scurrying away to the middle of the bed as fast as possible.

Why did I feel someone just touched me?

Suddenly the moon shifts, the light dims, and the room is covered in absolute darkness. And all my stupid brain can conjure, are the memories from yesterday evening.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Pulling my knees tightly to my chest, I shut my eyes, refusing to look. Blocking my eye isn't any help, because shutting my mind's eye isn't possible. All they can see are a thousand pair of filthy hands touching me. Noses smelling me. Tongues licking me. Disgusting faces laughing at me.

"Stop..." A sob leaves my mouth as I cover my ears with my hands, to stop my mind from conjuring up unwanted memories.
It doesn't help.
Instead I feel the walls closing in on me. The disgusting smiles closing in on me. The thousand hands closing in on me.

"No..please..." I beg to the darkness, my eyes shut tight, my hands over my ears, knees pulled to my chest, my body shaking uncontrollably with sobs in the middle of the bed.

I simply cannot get the images out of my mind.

Out of nowhere nausea hits me. I get down from the bed and scramble my way to the bathroom. The universe only knows, how I find my way in the darkness, that too without my crutch. Limping, I reach the bathroom and head straight toward the toilet before pouring out.

Moments later, the light is switched on filling the bathroom with bright light. Someone removes my messy, sticky hair from my face, holding it up back.
A cold, yet with a warm feeling, so different from those in my imagination, carreses my head.