Chasing Admon Damien

Chapter 17

I am silently sitting at the soccer field. Watching the athletes who are actively and vigorously playing. I chose to stay here for a while because it’s peaceful. Walang masyadong dumadaan kaya masarap sa pakiramdam dahil tahimik.

The impact of the accident changed my life. One year living in New York? I definitely learned about a lot of things. I lived independently and worked to fund my studies.


Akala ko noon, noong nasa puder pa ako nina tita at tito ay hindi ko makakaya ang ganitong buhay. Pero nakaya ko. Nakaya ko palang hindi umasa sa iba. Dahil sa nangyari, nanging mas matatag ako at matapang.

Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa masasabing ayos na ako. Palagi ko pa ding naaalala si Adam. Halos sa lahat ng ginagawa ko ay naaalala ko siya. Nasanay akong kasama siya at ngayon na wala na siya ay para akong napilayan. But I am trying my best to be brave. To get up and face the challenges of this cruel world threw at me.

Mommy flew back to the Philippines with tita and kuya became it was my request. I miss mom but I wanted to be alone. Siguro nasanay na akong mag-isa. Na kapag may problema, sarili ko lang ang kakampi ko. Besides, I wanted mom to go home and fix her life. Kuya and tita was against it but they had no choice. But I promised them that they could visit me any time they wanted.

Mommy started her own restaurant. And I am so proud of her. Noong una, ang naging problema niya ay ang kapital. Naisip niyang mag-loan ngunit hindi siya pinayagan ni tita. Tita offered to lend money as how much as she needed. Mommy hesitantly accepted it. She promised to pay tita as soon as her business earned.


Salamat sa Diyos dahil naging successful naman ang business ni mommy. Ngayon nga ay nakapagpatayo na siya ng isa pang branch nito. Masaya ako dahil bumabalik na si mom sa dati. Happy and lively. Kaya kahit gaano man kabigat ang pinagdaraanan ko, lumalaban ako dahil sa kanila.


“Penny for your thoughts?”

Nagulat ako nang may biglang umupo sa tabi ko. Napasimangot ako nang makitang si Vandross pala iyon.


“Bwisit ka, ginulat mo ako!” naaasar na wika ko sa kanya. I rolled my eyes at him but he just laughed at my reaction.


“Ang lalim na naman kasi ng iniisip mo, eh.” Hindi pa din nawawala ang ngisi sa mga labi niya.


Inirapan ko ulit siya. “Oo. Sa sobrang lalim hindi mo maarok.”


Kumunot ang noo niya. “Maarok? What’s that?”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. Marunong naman siyang magtagalog pero iyong mga malalalim na salita ay hindi niya na maintindihan.


Actually, he is Vaughn’s brother. Vaughn visited me her before so I was able to meet Vandross. I enrolled at the same school he is studying. From there, he didn’t stop annoying me, bugging me and making fun of me.


Noong una, hindi ko talaga siya pinapansin dahil hindi ako interesadong magkaroon ng bagong kaibigan pero siya itong papansin. Nang tumagal ay naawa ako sa kanya kaya kinausap ko na din. Kawawa naman kasi nagmumukha siyang tanga habang daldal nang daldal pero hindi ko pinapansin.


“Wala. Bakit ka na naman nandito?”


“I just thought you might need me. Kawawa ka naman kasi walang friends. Mag-isa kana naman.”


“I am alone because I want to, naiintindihan mo? Ngayon alis na. Shoo.” I gestured him to go away but he only guffawed.


“What am I, an animal? Sobra ka naman, Cres. Ayaw mo ba nun? Palagi kang may kasamang gwapo.” He said cooly.


“Ikaw, gwapo?” I laughed exaggeratedly. “Mukha ka ngang aso. Pangit mo.”

Tiningnan niya ako na parang nasasaktan pero alam ko namang nag-iinarte lang yan. Sanay na siya sa mga pang-iinsulto ko sa kanya. “Kailangan mo na yatang magpatingin sa mata. Tsk! Malabo na ang mga mata mo.”


“Ewan ko sayo. Alis na ako.” Isinukbit ko ang aking bag at tumayo na. Tumayo na din siya at tumatawang hinarap ako.


“ Asar kana agad niyan? By the way, wala ka nang gagawin after your work?”


“Wala na. The past days were so tiring. I need to rest physically and mentally.” I lifted my head to look at him. “Bakit?”


“Naisip ko lang na baka gusto mong sumama. Nagyayaya si Lyca mag-nightclub.”


I started walking to gate of the university. “Kayo na lang. Pagod kasi ako mula sa exams at sa trabaho.”

Sumasama naman ako sa kanila minsan sa bar at nightclub. Sa nakalipas na isang taon, natuto akong uminom at gumimik. Bukod sa iyon ang hilig ng mga kaibigan ko, sumama ako para kahit ilang oras man lang ay makalimutan ko ang nararamdamang sakit. I don’t want to die in boredom and be sentimental always. And when I am at home, alone, loneliness filled my heart so I go out sometimes.


“Aw. I thought you can come with us. Maybe next time?”


“Yeah. I will call Lyca later.” Nakalabas na kami sa university at nag-aabang ng taxi. “Papasok na ako sa trabaho ko.”



“Hatid na kita.” Offer niya.


Inirapan ko siya. “I will take a cab.”


“Ayaw mo? Libre pamasahe din ‘yun.” Wika niya habang nakangisi sa akin.


Napasimangot ako. “Hindi pa ako namumulubi. At tsaka magkaiba tayo ng daan.”


Napakamot naman siya sa kanyang ulo. Muntik na akong matawa ngunit pinipigilan ko lang. Parehas talaga silang magkapatid. “Sige na nga. Kakaiba ka talaga.” He uttered the last sentence almost inaudible for me to hear.

Pinara niya ang dumaang sasakyan at kinausap ang driver. Hindi ko marinig ang pinag-uusapan nila dahil maliit lang ang boses niya nang kausapin niya ito. Then Vandross turned around to face me.

Ipinaghila niya ako ng pintuan. “Sakay ka na.”


I bid my goodbye before I went inside the car. I work at Thompson Construction and Designs Inc. This company believes in the ability of the students pursuing engineering and architecture. They hire working students because they want new and unique designs. Also, they wanted those working students to have a future career once they graduate in college.


Pero hindi nga lang ganoon kadali ang makapasok sa kompanyang ito. Talagang sinasala nila at ang may mga potensyal lang ang kanilang kinukuha. And I am lucky that I am one of those who was hired by this company. It is also beneficial to me because I am learning a lot, my skilss are enhanced and most importantly, I am already exposed in my chosen career.


The salary is good. Because of my job, I am able to pay my expenses and bills. Hindu ko na kailangan pang himingi kina mommy at tita para sa mga gastusin ko dahil kaya ko namang suportahan ang aking sarili.


My class starts at nine o’ clock in the morning until two in the afternoon. I am working at TCD until six in the evening. It’s ten minutes drive from the house to the university. And from there, it’s fifteen minutes drive to TCD. Dahil wala naman akong Sasa ay sumasakay lang ako ng cab.


“Cres, the president wants to have a conversation with you.”

I was surprised when Sheena, the secretary of the president ushered me to his office. I silently followed her. Feeling nervous because I don’t know if I had done something wrong. Or if I will be fired from this job. Shit! Huwag naman!


Sheena knocked before we went inside. “Good afternoon, Mr. Thompson.” Bati ko.


Nag-angat ng tingin qng presidentw mula sa mga dokumento sa kanyang harapan. Ganun na lang ang kaba ko nang makitang imbes na ibang mga papeles ay mga blueprints na gawa ang kanyang tinitingnan.


“Oh! You’re here. Please, take a seat. You can leave us now Sheena. Thank you.”


“Good afternoon, sir.” Kinakabahang bati ko habang umuupo sa harapan niya.


He flashed a wide smile at me. “Good afternoon. I will be straight to the point. I am very amazed with your designs. They are unique and new and I can see that you really have a big potential. I know it’s so early to tell you this but I want you to work for me full time after you graduate.” Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa sinabi niya. Akala ko ay mapapagalitan na ako.


I smiled inwardly. At least my sacrifices had been paid off. “Thank you for the big opportunity you are giving me, sir. I will definitely think about it.”


Mr. Thompson smiled at me, satisfied with my response. “That would be all, miss Enriquez. You may go now.”


I got up and left his office. I am so proud of myself, of my achievements. This was our dream. Adam’s dream for me. Palagi niyang sinasabi sa akin dati na magiging magaling akong architect. And he will be very proud to tell the world that I am his wife.

Nangilid ang luha sa aking mga mata. Pinunasan ko kaagad ito bago pa man may makakita. I stopped over a shop to order a pizza for my dinner. Now that I live alone, mostly, I don’t cook. I just ordered my food outside. Nakakatamad kasing magluto dahil ako lang naman ang kumakain.


Pumasok ako sa loob ng banyo para makapag-ayos ng sarili. Paglabas ko ay narinig kong nagri-ring ang aking cellphone. I immediately answered it when I saw mom’s name in the phone screen.


“Thank God, Ava, you answered. Kanina pa ako tumatawag. You promised to call us often but you barely call. You got me worried. Sa ‘twing tumatawag ako ay hindi mo sinasagot o di kaya naman ay hindi kita makontak. Ngali-ngaling lumipad na ako papunta riyan. What keeps you so busy you didn’t even bother to call?”


I am biting my lip as I listen to mommy’s rants. There was not even a ‘hi' nor a ‘hello’.”


“I am busy with work, mom. Sabayan pa nang sunod-sunod na exams. I’m sorry I didn’t call for days. Hindi na po mauulit.”

“Mabuti. Kung hindi ka mag-isa diyan ay hindi ako mag-aalala nang husto. But you don’t have someone to take care for you there. Kung hindi ko lang alam ang pinangagalingan mo, anak, nunca na papayagan kitang mag-isa diyan.” Napapikit ako sa sermon ni mommy.


“I’m okay, mom. Stop worrying. This us what I want. Masaya po ako sa ginagawa ko.”

Mom heaved a deep sigh. “Arw you really okay, anak?”


“I am trying to be, mom. I know I will be. Someday.”


“Ayaw mo bang umuwi na dito? You know we miss you so much.” Ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses niya.


“Uuwi din ako, mom. After my graduation.”


“That’s years from now. It’s too long, anak!” mom exaggeratedly exclaimed.


“It’s only two years, mommy.” I tried to sound normal because I don’t want it to add in her stress.

“Two years! Ang tagal pa ‘nun!”

Hindu ko na mapigilan ang mapangiti. Her concern for my welfare is so important to me. This is what I longed for for years. Hearing her say these words to me makes my heart fat.


“Pwede naman kayong bumisita next month, mom dahil patapos na ang semester. We can spend time together longer.”


“Fine. Bibisita ako diyan. Hindi ko lang alam kung makakasama ang tita mo dahil busy ang schedule niya ngayon. Anyway, kinakamusta ka ng kuya mo. Nag-aalala din yun. Give him a call.”


“Opo. I’ll do that, mom.”


After the call with mommy ay binuksan ko na ang pizza para makakain na. I was eating the first slice when I was startled because my phone rang for another call.

“Cres! Hello!” nailayo ko ang cellphone sa aking tainga nang marinig ang matinis na boses ni Lyca sa kabilang linya. “Hindi ka talaga sasama? Ano lang gagawin mo sa bahay mo? Manonood? Matutulog? Sumama kana kasi, please!”


“Hindi ako-


“Hay naku! I will come at your house and pull you out from your blanket.”


“Lyca…” desidido talaga akong hindi pumunta. “Next time na lang, please. Tinatamad talaga akong pumunta.”


“I won’t stop bugging you until you come. Pupuntahan kita diyan sa house mo.”



Napakamot na lang ako sa aking noo. “Okay.” Sumusukong wika ko. “Sunduin mo ako.”


“Yes!” rinig kong napahagikhik siya sa kabilang linya bago ko pinatay ang tawag.

She’s my bestfriend here in New York. She is also taking architecture and we’re classmate in a few subjects. We easier clicked. Bukod sa parehas kaming Pilipino, halos magkaparehas din kami ng ugali. Ang pinakagusto kong ugali niya ay ang pagiging masayahin. Dahil iyon sa tingin ko ang nawala nang mamatay si Adam. My life since then was dull, buhay ako pero parang patay ang pakiramdam.


I lazily got up from the couch to take a quick shower. I wore a sexy black backless dress revealing the upper part of my cleavage. Hinayaan ko lang na nakalugay ang aking mahabang buhok. Wala pang trenta minuto ay rinig ko na ang pagparada ng sasakyan ni Lyca sa labas ng bahay.


“Ang ganda talaga. Iyan ba ang tinatamad?” bungad niya nang makita ako.

Inirapan ko siya bago nilagpasan. “Let’s go.” Masungit na wika ko sa kanya. Tinawanan lang ako bago sumunod sa akin.


Pagpasok namin sa Phantasia ay marami nang tao. Hindi pa masyadong wild ang mga tao dahil maaga pa naman. Napansin ko kaagad ang table namin dahil nakita si Vandross. There are two seats unoccupied alam ko na kaagad na sa amin iyon ni Lyca.


Napangiti sa amin si Vandross nang makita kami. “Cres! Akala ko hindi ka sasama?” he offered me the seat beside him.

Ngunit bago pa man ako makasagot ay sumabat si Lyca. “Pinuntahan ko siya sa bahay niya. Of course she won’t say ‘no’ kapag ako ang nag-aya.” Proud na sabi niya.


“Buti sumama ka. You will only get bored at home. Relax, Cres. Tapos naman na ang exams.” Drei stated while handing Lyca a glass of vodka.


“Yeah.” Sagot ko tsaka siya tinanguan.


“You look hot tonight, Cres.” Cassie winked before she sipped on her drink. She is Vaughn and Vandross' little sister.


I smiled at her. I looked around us and saw a little crowd dancing in the dance floor. “And this is for you.” Drei handed me a glass of vodka.

“Thank you.”

I grimaced when I tasted its bitterness. Hindi pa din talaga ako sanay sa lasa ng alak kahit maraming beses na akong pumapasok sa bar.

Habang lumalalim ang gabi ay mas nagiging crowded ang dance floor. Halata din sa mga tao na karamihan sa kanila ay lasing na o di kaya ay may tama na.

“Girls, let’s dance.”

Wala na akong nagawa pa nang hilain kami ni Lyca patungong dance floor. Binitawan lang niya ang kamay ko nang nasa gitna na kaming tatlo.

The two dance with no inhibitions unlike me. Pero nang tumagal ay nawala din ang inhibisyon ko sa katawan at sumabay din sa mga galaw nila.

And now we’re dancing wildly while laughing at each other.

I put my hands in my head as I slowly glided down my body. My hands sensually moved at the curves of my body. I closed my eyes as I dance wishing all the pain to go away.