(COMPLETE) Oh Cr...ofters, We're 30?! - Prinxiety Fanfiction

Virgil Ventures Outside

Virgil is tasked with painting a bedroom of a certain teacher he had good rapport with it high school. Unfortunately that teacher is a hyper chatterbox and reveals something that spirals Virgil into a panic attack later in the day.

This Friday was going to be peaceful for Virgil. It was another day at home like everyday was, getting Nathan ready for school and collecting him later. Roman would be back later in the day as he had this mysterious meeting with 'Gym-Bud' – a person neither teen knew.

"Looks yummy Dad!" Nathan cheered as he peered over the counter. The egg was spitting so he stayed a distance but looked up at his Dad with wide eyes. "Can I help?"

"Put the salt and pepper on the table for us lil monkey." Roman's voice echoed as he trotted down the stairs, folding the sleeves of a red hoodie that went over his hands. As Nathan ran past he received a hair ruffle from his father. "Smells good. What's your plan today?"

That brought Virgil back to the item he was holding while frying eggs – his work calendar. He flicked through it and expected just the normal at home tasks, but this task seemed different as it had an address. The only advice was: 'paint new bedroom'. "Huh, apparently I've got to paint a bedroom at 26 Crofters Close."

A small smile lay on Roman's face as he took over the cooking, serving each egg onto a separate plate. "That's Mr Watson's place." He said before wondering to the dining table where Nathan was sat proudly with a couple of toys. Virgil gave him a raised eyebrow. He didn't put Roman Krol down as a stalker.

"How do you know where Mr Watson lives?"

"A few of my friends used to cover his house in toilet paper in freshman year." Now that was expected. Mr Watson was severely bullied by the same students that Virgil was, but he was an adult so he could be strong about it while it absolutely decimated the teen's mental health. "I didn't join in though, I was the most responsible fourteen year old out there."

Virgil ignored the lie that had just passed Roman's lips and instead ate, thanking Nathan for getting the salt and pepper. He should really know more information about his teacher before going to his house. "What's Mr Watson's first name again?"

"Patton. He calls himself all kinds of nicknames like Patty-Wat and Father Pat though." Roman mumbled in response and ate the eggs as quickly as his five year old son. "He seems a little crazy doesn't he?"

"Yeah he does."

*****

When Virgil knocked on the front door he partly believed his old high school teacher would have moved out of this house, especially if he was having to repetitively clean toilet paper from the exterior. So he was surprised when Mr Watson came bounding through the front door like an excited puppy, just as he used to even though he looked quite a bit older. "Vergie! Oh my God I've missed you since last fortnight!"

The paints were getting heavy, and Virgil was excited to use them, but he was also curious to talk to his teacher like an adult rather than a student. And it seemed adult Virgil did so often. "How's thing's been Patton? What have you been up to?"

"I've just got a new kiddo in the home and the bright blue hurts their eyes, that's why you're painting that while they're at school... And I have the day off to entertain you!" The pair made their way upstairs and to a small blue bedroom behind the stairs. Virgil remembered his English teacher mentioning he was a foster carer back in the day – he must be really devoted to it if he was randomly adjusting rooms to help new children feel comfortable. "I was thinking we could make it a little more pastel?"

Even though the bedroom was small it was sweet. There was a toy chest but it seemed permanently shut due to the make-up toppled on top of it. The rest seemed white an ordinary white room which was perfect for artistic inspiration. "I've got a plan; I'll probably draw some clouds at the side here if that's OK? Nathan gave me the idea." This inspiration was partly inspired by the in-depth conversation he had with Nathan during the ride to school about Toy Story lore. And just imagining Nathan's happy smile as he talked made Virgil smile too.

"You're such a cute Dad Vergie. I'm proud of you." Patton spoke so softly and honestly saying that, and he grabbed Virgil's shoulder in a comforting gesture. Those small words meant a lot – Virgil viewed Patton like a father at school so to hear him say he was proud of what Virgil had become was amazing. "You go ahead with your work – come downstairs when you're ready for your cash in hand!"

Patton's footsteps were heard walking away as Virgil opened the paint cans with his knife, brushing his hands along the roller nonchalantly. He enjoyed the silence when he started painting – but like anything associated with Patton it wasn't quiet for long. Soon the teacher reversed back to the doorway with his mischievous smile ready to unknowingly start an awkward conversation.

"Roman's been so cute at work kiddo." Patton began, a small laugh escaping as he leant against the door. Virgil just raised an eyebrow in response, unsure of what to say. "Whenever I ask him about you or Nathan he starts to babble even the smallest facts just like he did when he fell in love with you."

Virgil just laughed at that. The two teens were good at pretending to be adults it seems – no-one had caught on with anything the two men had failed at doing. "Meh, we're just spending more time with each other I guess. We're acting like we're just good friends again."

"It's good to have a nice reset to fall in love again every once in a while." This was sure one reset that Patton was oblivious to. The obliviousness made Virgil have to hold back his laugh as he concentrated on painting – the most relaxing activity in the world. "Have you asked him about the second kid yet?"

The painter almost dropped his paint roller in confusion and shock, trying to gather a suitable answer. Adult Virgil wanted another kid? He always just believed Nathan was enough. He was sweet and the bond he had with his fathers was so close and sweet. Patton continued to talk and seemed blind to Virgil's facial expression. "You mentioned you wanted to use those 'future Nathan' eggs before the freezer time runs out. Weren't you going to ask him last weekend?"

There was no way Virgil would mention anything about pregnancy to Roman right now – and even thinking about pregnancy made Virgil gag. Why would he want to go through pregnancy again? Sure, Nathan was a good kid but the dysphoria wasn't worth it.

All the busying thoughts were stopped when Patton let an unearthly gasp go – and he giggled like a schoolchild going on a field trip. "Wait – did he say yes?" Patton didn't wait for an answer, he was already freaking out about how cute Virgil and Roman would be as parents. There'd be no escape from this no matter how much Virgil argued.

*****

When things scared Virgil in the past he learnt to repress it, hide it deep inside so he didn't have to bother anyone with it. After painting the room Virgil thanked Patton, got his money, and left to collect Nathan from school. Nathan was cheery and chatty as always all the way home, but the cheer could only do so much. By the time Virgil and Nathan got home all the father's energy was devoted to keeping all the emotions in. He was tired.

"Can we play outside Dad? I want to show you how to bounce a basketball!" For the first time since arriving in this universe Virgil ignored his son. The only thing he could manage was collapsing on the sofa and hugging his legs. He thought he had this universe under control but everything was slipping, he didn't feel himself but he didn't feel like adult Virgil either.

It seemed as though Nathan was there to help and knew exactly what to do while Virgil's breathing got quicker. "Dad? You're getting shakey." Nathan's voice was childish but gentle, it was so comforting. The boy sat opposite his father and tilted his head. "Do you want to play eye spy?"

The only thing Virgil could manage was a nod to let time progress. Nathan smiled gleefully and talked through the instructions as if he'd done this before. "OK – Count five things that you can see!" The boy talked through a simplified grounding exercise, which surprisingly calmed Virgil down sufficiently. Once Virgil was calm enough to speak, quietly, Nathan grabbed Virgil's mobile phone and immediately started calling his other father.

"Hi Dad... Dad! Daddy's shakey, he wants your help."