𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄 - ★彡[ᴋᴀᴍɪꜱᴀᴛᴏ ᴀʏᴀᴛᴏ]彡★

二十四 - 24

"Thoma?" I knocked on the door. 

"Come in," a faint reply sounded on the other end, and I hesitantly cracked the door open. Thoma was lying in bed with dark circles under his eyes, giving me a weak wave. "Miss (Y/n), good to see you."

I softly walked over to him and crouched beside his bed. "I want you to listen to everything that I'm about to say right now, and don't interrupt me until I'm done."

He nodded.

"I'm going to be going into a drug-induced coma today in order to save Ayaka's life," I told him, shaking slightly, "and this should hopefully create an antidote to the drug that is in your system as well. It turns out the drug that Ayaka was giving us wasn't the drug I was given, it was a poisonous drug that slowly enters your nervous system and overpowers it. The only thing to counter it is the drug in my blood."

I remembered what the doctor had told me only a few minutes ago. 

"You and Ayaka are going to live, however the chances of me surviving are incredibly slim. But it's okay, it's what I want to do."

"Miss (Y/n), I can tell that you're lying," Thoma smiled and gently placed a hand on my head, "you don't want to die, right?"

No, that's not true. That's what I had been telling myself this whole time- but now that he spoke those words, I felt myself breaking down in front of him, uncontrollable sobs leaving my lips. No, stop it. I didn't want to cry like this, I didn't want to burden the people here more than I already had. I wanted to smile when I left so that they wouldn't hold any regrets over my death. That's what I wanted more than anything, so why had I become so weak all of the sudden? Stop crying. I looked up at Thoma, afraid to see anger in his eyes, but instead there was nothing but care.

"You want to be beside your father and Master, right?" He gently rubbed circles on the top of my scalp. "It's okay, you can tell me."

Stop crying.

"I'm fine," I wiped the tears off of my face, "I just got emotional when I saw that you were alright."

I couldn't tell a single soul that I felt this way. If this was the final burden for me to carry, I would lift it on my shoulders and keep it there until the end of my life. Even though Thoma probably knew that I was lying through my teeth, he seemed to understand me enough to know that pushing it further would break my morale.

"You'll come back," Thoma told me gently, "I promise. There's no need to be afraid, because this isn't where you're going to die."

A part of me wanted to believe that somehow he could see into the future and ensure that what he was saying was correct, but I knew that he was just trying to say some meaningless words to provide me with a base amount of comfort.

"Thanks Thoma," I stood up, "I suppose that this is our goodbye."

"It is, isn't it?" he looked away from me. "I'm going to miss you, (Y/n)."

"Thank you for being my first friend here, and always providing me with unconditional support," I walked towards the door and stepped out of the room. "Farewell, Thoma- and act like this conversation between us never occurred."

I shut the door behind me and took a deep breath, feeling a stray tear slip down my face. 

"I love you," I heard his voice from the other side of the door, but it must have been an illusion, a simple sorrowful whisper in the wind.

Goodbye, my dearest friend.

"Ayato," I knocked on the bedroom door, peeking my head inside to see if he was lying there. It didn't look like he was around, so I took the letter that was in my pocket and placed it on the bed. I had written it a little while ago, but the contents within it were all still the truth. It would remain as my farewell to him because I certainly wouldn't be able to say it in person. If I did, I would surely change my mind and go back into his arms, which was the last thing that I wanted to do. This will have to be enough.

I stared at the bedroom for one last time, drinking in the familiar walls and letting a bit of nostalgia wash over me. I lingered for a few minutes before I left and walked towards Ayaka's temporary room. The doctor was waiting for me.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

I don't want to die.

I really didn't want to die. There were so many precious things that I couldn't bear to let go of, yet I knew that this was for the greater good. The world would benefit far more from having Kamisato Ayaka in it rather than me. She was the eldest daughter of the Kamisato Clan and loved by the people, admired and respected by all those around her. Ayato held her above everything else.

Even though I knew that, I wasn't spiteful. They had always been together, and I respected their close relationship. I found it cute how they always worried about each other and if the other found them bothersome or a burden. Living with the guilt that I had taken Ayato's sister away from him was something that I could never accept, not in any universe. They were all the other had. Ayato would be able to move on from my death, but he certainly wouldn't be able to move on from hers- and that was okay. Ayato had a side of himself that he would never show to me and vice versa. But even still, I wanted to know more about him and discover his pet peeves, his favorite foods, everything about him.

That was a childish wish, though. I didn't have the time to waste my thinking on such trivial matters.

She's more important than you.

Your life is meaningless.

I knew all this already. It's what I've always known. So I gave the doctor a look without regret and spoke without wavering.

"Yes, I'm ready."

Hi guys,

Triple update! Also, farewell youthful (Y/n). Get ready for more angst~ I'm going to update two more times today- a 5x update- I don't really know how to say it in terms of triple and double and quadruple and stuff.

Love,

Wasabi