It Started With a Vacation

Chapter 22

*This chapter includes 18+ content. There will be warnings before and after if you wish to skip it

"So," he said, squeezing your hand a little as he spoke, "you really can't tell me anything?" You shook your head, squeezing back in apology.

"I...I could, but it wouldn't be safe. You have enough risk already on you for being with me, this...this could make things so much worse."

"Hmm," he hummed, looking around. You were on the streets of Coruscant now, and you were taking your time in finding something to eat, just enjoying the walk together. Crosshair had said before, on one of your few and far between dates, that he'd never had street vendor food, so tonight you decided to take him to get some. It was easy to transport as well, so you could take it somewhere nice to eat, or take it back to the Temple.

"Can you give me hints about it?"

"No. Well, I'm not exactly sure how to hint at it without you figuring it out."

"That's the point," he mumbled. You pulled slightly on his hand, causing him to look at you. He stopped walking and turned to you, giving you his full attention.

"Crosshair," you said, quietly but firmly, "I need you to trust me."

"I do-"

"No, you don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't keep asking."

"How am I supposed to just be okay with you leaving for five and a half months?" he asked, suddenly getting slightly irritated. "And the fact that you can't tell me why? It's-it's...imagine if I were to do it. How would you feel?"

"I'd accept that I have no choice but to be okay with it," you said. "Look, I can't force you to be okay with this, I can only ask you to try to allow me to do this. And, if you find that...that you can't..." Your voice trailed off, thinking of the possibility of Crosshair not accepting it, of him deciding he'd be better off not with you than apart from you. You took a breath, calming yourself before your next words.

"If you find that you can't be with me like this, that it's too much, then I will respect your decision-"

"No," he said, cutting you off. "I would never leave you. Especially not over something like this. It's just...we're already always apart so much, and this, this is longer than normal. And I don't even know what kind of danger you might be in."

"I won't be in any," you said, grabbing his hands that were fidgeting. "Well, I'll be in some, possibly, but it's not a guarantee. And I'll be at the palace most of the time, with people that you have met and know you can trust. Of course, I'll venture into the city when I want to, but I'll probably be with a friend when I do."

"And you said you weren't going to tell me anything," he said, a tiny smirk playing on his lips as your words reassured him. You rolled your eyes playfully, your own small smile appearing.

"I didn't give you any hints on what I was doing, just where I would be, and who I'd be with."

"It's better than nothing," he sighed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Being on the streets of Coruscant, away from the Temple and others who knew who you were, you felt free. Free to be with Crosshair, free to love him. And he didn't exactly look like a clone that civvies we're used to seeing around, so no one would suspect him. It was here that you could pretend that everything was going to be okay. That you could pretend your world wasn't turning inside out.

As you started walking again, you entered the food district. It seemed as though every building you passed was a restaurant, every corner stand was a vendor selling something freshly made. Crosshair popped a toothpick in his mouth as the smells wafted around you. If you weren't hungry before, you certainly were now.