50 Shades of Drake 1 and 2

Chapter Sixty-Eight

    For the remainder of the day, Destiny avoided Aubrey. She couldn't stand the sight of him. She wanted to be understanding. He had warped views on love due to seeing a lot of disastrous, destructive relationships. She could understand that. But when she was in the throes of her anger and frustration, she couldn't help but wonder if all of those excuses were just a clever way to keep her compliant while he ran around with other women.

    The minute the thought occurred to her, she knew better. She'd seen the look in his eyes. And while he hadn't shed them, she'd seen the tears. But let's be real here, Destiny, he's an actor, she thought. Or, at least, he used to be. All of that could have been an act.

    She summoned up an image of the look on his face when he thought she was leaving. That's all it took for her to come to the final determination that it hadn't been an act. In many women, there was that urge to nurture. Nurture and fix. A guy is proven to be a "bad boy"? Let me nurture him and fix him, was most women's motto - and it often led to heartbreak. That had been Destiny's first inclination, at the first signs of emotions that he showed her. She wanted to be there for him and help him work through his issues. Show him that he was capable of loving and being loved in return. But she felt like if she did that, if she stuck with him, he would wind up hurting her - the very thing it seemed like he was trying to prevent.

    And if I'm afraid of sticking with him through this, and if I'm afraid of helping him work out his own issues at the risk of being hurt, does that make me a hypocrite? Because that's how he feels. She sat on the edge of her bed and put her head in her hands. She hated this situation. There was no easy answer. She could live life with him, and learn to deal with him gallivanting off with other women. Be satisfied with whatever little slice of his life that he offered her. Or she could live life without him. In both cases, she felt doomed to be miserable. Living life without him, she could go off and meet someone else. A nice, stable guy like Chad. But Aubrey would always be there, at the back of her mind, and in her heart. She'd always wonder where he was or what he was doing. She'd always wonder whether or not he still thought about her. She would always compare the men in her life to him, the way she'd compared Chad to him. And if Aubrey did happen to cross paths with her, and make a pass at her, most likely it would be a pass that she accepted. Why?

    "Because I love him," she said out loud, tears filling her eyes. "Because I love him. And God, I don't want to. I want to hate him. Hating him would be easier. But it's impossible to hate him when I love him so much."

~~~~~~

    On the other side of the bedroom door, Aubrey leaned against the doorframe. His eyes were also filled with tears at the sound of her words. He smiled through his tears and hung his head. "I love you too," he whispered. "I just...I can't tell you that yet. Just...be patient with me. Give me time. And I'll show you how much you mean to me. I promise." Words that he could whisper now, because she wasn't standing right in front of him making demands and ultimatums. Words that he could whisper now, because he knew that she couldn't hear them.

    This time, as he stood there on the other side of that door, listening to her pleading and crying out for him, he did let the tears fall.