50 Shades of Drake 1 and 2

50SOD II: Chapter Eighty-Three

    Even for a Grammy-awarded lyricist, there were no words Aubrey could think of to describe just how empty his condo felt without Destiny in it. It wasn't as if she was out, or running errands. She was gone, and most likely wouldn't be returning anytime soon. Not only that, but she was currently in the house of another man, a man who had expressed an interest in her. That knowledge caused a mild depression to set in.

    Once Destiny was gone, he poured himself a strong drink of Hennessy and stood at the balcony window, peering out into the night. He yearned to text her or call her, yearned to get a texted reply back from her or even better, hear her soft voice in his ear. Promising him that things would be all right, telling him that she couldn't wait to return back to him.

    I can't even text her, though, he thought now. For all I know, Palmer could be checking into my phone records. Luckily, she lived with me and worked in the same building I did, so there wasn't ever much reason to text or call her. So if Palmer does check my phone records, he won't see late-night phone calls with her or anything like that. Unfortunately, I have to keep it that way.

    So his woman was gone. He couldn't communicate with her via phone or text message. Someone in his company was reporting to Palmer, and he didn't know which department that person worked in. If the mole worked in the IT Department, he or she would have access to the instant messaging logs. That meant Aubrey had to limit interaction with Destiny there as well. The measures he was taking to ensure her safety were extreme. He was conscious of that fact. But the only thing in the world worse than losing her to another man, would be harm coming to her.

    I was the one who made the decision to call out the politicians in that article, he thought now, taking a swig of the dark cognac in his glass. If anything happens to her, it would be my fault. All she did was write the article and choose to be with me. Harm shouldn't come to her because of that. A thought occurred to him and he narrowed his eyes.

    He turned around, set his glass down on the living coffee table, and jogged to the bedroom. With his heart rate racing, he walked around the bed and entered his closet.

    The lights in his closet flicked on as soon as the motion detector sensed movement. He stroked his jaw and glanced around the closet. Where would I have put it? Squinting his eyes in concentration, he reached out and touched a few of the modern-looking dresser drawers. They slid out, one by one and he perused their contents. He knelt down near the last drawer and gently touched it. It slid open, revealing a small box. His eyes lit up as he lifted the box out of the drawer and carried it out of the closet.

    He sat on the edge of his bed and popped the lid off of the box. A small tape recording device, already loaded with a tape. He stared down at it, knowing what was contained on the tape before he removed the the tape recorder and pressed the Rewind button.

    Last year, Destiny had walked in on him and another woman. She had known that he was not interested in an arrangement where he was exclusive to her, not at that time. But the reality of seeing him involved with another woman had shaken her so much that she'd walked out on him and refused to talk to him. Those first few months he had lived in denial, denial that she meant as much to him as she did. He pretended that he could just move on and continue to see random women, but by that time Destiny had already gotten under his skin. He couldn't just move on without her.

    After meeting her that first day in the bakery, he had looked forward to the next time he would get to see her again. Every encounter with her was like that. Even though he had just seen her, the minute he left her, he couldn't wait to see her again. And when she walked out on him, even through the delusion that he could move on, a part of him had been devastated. For the first time in years, his world had been rocked and tilted off its axis.

    Those first few months, he was able to halfway deal with Destiny being gone. What made it increasingly difficult, however, was that the article she'd written made her a national celebrity overnight. After all, she had gotten the media-shy Aubrey Drake Graham to speak for an interview, a feat that a journalist hadn't accomplished in more than a year. He was more than happy to provide that jumpstart to a career she was currently putting on hold so she could help his company. But that jumpstart meant that she was garnering her own interviews, and that meant her face being plastered all over television. During the day, during the evening, it didn't matter. If Aubrey ever took the time to sit down and watch television, he caught glimpses of her face here and there. Seeing her face and feeling the stretch of distance between them made moving on without her impossible.

    So those first few months I was okay, but towards the end I started missing her like crazy. I missed her so badly that I convinced the dean of her college to hide the fact that I would be the person giving the commencement speech for their graduation. Those last few months, I missed her so badly that I would pull out this tape and listen to it, just so I could hear the sound of her voice.

    He ran his fingers across the Play button, hesitating before pressing it. He had never told her just how hard it had been for him in those last few months without her, not in detail. Because I still have issues with looking weak to her. As much as she tells me that I can confide in her about anything, a part of me will always hate appearing weak in front of her. I'm supposed to be strong for her. But...those last few months crushed me to the point where it was hard for me to function, hard for me to work. Hard for me carry on day-to-day activities without being distracted by thoughts and fantasies where she came back to me and we lived happily ever after.

    Taking a deep breath, he pressed Play.