50 Shades of Drake 1 and 2

50SOD II: Chapter Thirty-Four

    "Before you go into that," Destiny said slowly, "there is something I really want to tell you."

    Aubrey leaned towards her and covered her hand with his. "Please. Let me just get this out okay? I don't know how long this new courage is going to last me."

    She searched his eyes, feeling very conflicted. But she wound up nodding her head.

    "My dad was a musician, an entertainer. And he traveled. A lot." He leaned back in his chair and lifted his fork. "He was quite the man back in the day. Sometimes he would take me along with him. I would go out on stage and sing with him and the band. Those are some of my best memories of me and my father, actually."

    She stared down at her plate, trying to steady her heartbeat. Wanting to pick up her fork and start going to town on the eggplant Parmesan while listening to his story, but feeling like there was a heavy rock in her stomach. She didn't know if she'd be able to swallow the food; she was so overcome with guilt.

    "I witnessed first-hand some of the women who flirted with him. Back then I just thought it was how grown-ups talked to each other. I didn't think anything of it, then. But my mom...she got wind of certain things, and found phone numbers in the pockets of his clothes when doing laundry. And they fought. A lot." He lowered his gaze as memories started to haunt him. "Their arguments got pretty heated, sometimes. My mom is adorable, but she doesn't put up with bullshit. It has been something that I've always admired about her."

    She listened quietly while staring down at her plate.

    "You're not hungry?" he asked her.

    "I'm just...listening," she told him. Listening and trying not to cry. With a shaky hand, she picked up her fork and sectioned off a piece of eggplant.

    "My parents splitting up was devastating, yes. Our lives changed drastically. Both of my parents tried to make it as easy on me as possible, and I really appreciate that. I still got to hang out with my dad in the summers. They didn't badmouth each other around me. Well, not much. While it was devastating, that isn't quite what made me turn my back on love. In high school, I went on dates. I still gave my all. I still put myself and my heart out there. I was still a true romantic. What really broke me was..." He hesitated, and his voice cracked as he spoke the name. "Robyn."

    She lifted her eyes and dared a look him.

    "Robyn was...beautiful. Exotic. Mysterious. Wild. Just a little bit crazy. She knew how to keep me on my toes. And back then, I thought that I loved her. I thought I was head over heels for her. I wasn't even important enough to her for her to remember our anniversaries, but I was always there. Buying her shit. Cooking for her. Spoiling her. Like an idiot."

    "It sounds like you were a sweetheart," she said softly.

    "Or it sounds like I was delusional," he countered. "On our anniversary, she came home and wasn't wearing the engagement ring I gave her."

    "The one in the box?" Destiny asked.

    He nodded while picking up his wine glass. "Yes, the ring in the box. She wasn't wearing it, and she was talking on the phone to someone who felt the need to text her after she hung up with them. I demanded to know who was texting her. I grabbed her phone. The text message was from her ex. Things got...bad. I threw her phone. Shattered it to pieces. She confessed that she'd never stopped seeing him, never stopped sleeping with him. I got angry. I swept all of the food that I'd made for her on the floor. Threw the table." He paused and closed his eyes, as if trying to shut the memories out. "I've had relationships end before. I've even had women cheat on me before, but none of those betrayals hurt or stung the way this one did. What she did broke me. It completely broke me. I couldn't take relationships or love seriously after that. And after that...everything I wrote, all of the words that came from my pen, were all about her. My fans wanted more than just the sappy emotional songs. They wanted to hear me rap but all I could think about was her. It...it really fucked me up."

    Now it was her turn to reach over and cover her hand with his.

    He smiled at her, flipped his hand over beneath hers, and linked his fingers with hers. "That situation is a part of why I got out of the entertainment industry. There were other factors. I was tired of the industry and of the shadiness that goes on within it. I was tired of the media. The backstabbing. But I also just couldn't write meaningless shit about how much money I have. I couldn't write the bangers that people wanted to hear. She was all I thought about. I just couldn't get over not being good enough. And that was basically what she told me, by the way. That she didn't love me the way she loved her ex. That she was addicted to her ex."

    "You felt like you weren't good enough?" she questioned.

    "Wouldn't you?" he returned. "If the person you were with was cheating on you with their ex and said that they don't love you as much as they love their ex?"

    She shrugged her shoulders. "If someone cheats on me, their opinion on everything is null and void. They've lost all credibility. If they are disrespectful enough to cheat on me, I don't care what they think. About anything."

    He tilted his head to the side. "That's a great way to look at it," he said, studying her. "I wish...I wish I'd known you back then. I wish I'd met you first."

    She smiled and lowered her head, temporarily forgetting what had happened earlier in the office with Brian.

    "I mean, that's pretty much it. I loved her. She broke me. I stopped believing in love. Or I told myself I no longer believed in love. I went through a period of hating women. But then I had great women in my life, forcing me to remember that not every woman is created equal. I just...chose to chain myself to a woman who didn't deserve my love, I guess."

    "She didn't deserve you," Destiny agreed. "It's a pet peeve of mine when a girl treats a good guy like shit. I've had male friends who considered being a dog just because of girls like that. I hate it. Good guys should be treated with respect. With care."

    He squeezed her hand.

    "So the tattoo on your back, then? The red bird?"

    He nodded and lowered his eyes. "That tattoo was for Robyn. My Robyn."

    She tried not to feel hurt by his words.

    He added, "I call her my Robyn, but...you would probably know her by the name of Rihanna."

    Destiny's eyes widened.