50 Shades of Drake 1 and 2

50SOD II: Chapter One Hundo

    Destiny heard Aubrey opening his car door, but she kept walking. She heard him call out her name and run after her, but she didn't stop.

    Aubrey caught up to her and grabbed her by the elbow. An employee exited the building and gave them a wary glance. Aubrey tilted his head towards the employee, pasting a polite smile on his face. He led her away from the building entrance, and towards the parking garage, positioning her behind a concrete support post. Out of sight from any passersby. He braced his hands on either side of her. "What did you just say?"

    She kept her gaze focused on the ground between them.

    He raised his head and licked his lips. Then he looked back down at her. She could feel his eyes boring holes through her.

    "I...I've been throwing up lately," she said in a tiny voice. "I think...I think I might be pregnant." She was already regretting speaking the words aloud. They were words a woman should never tell a man unless she was one hundred percent sure of her condition. But she'd felt him slipping away from her, and with the comment he made about her being able to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted had made her angry. She had wanted to lash out at him, make him feel as bad as he'd made her feel. It was a childish move that she wished she could take back. But she raised her eyes and looked up at him.

    His brows were drawn together. "Destiny..."

    "I'm not completely sure I am. I haven't taken a test or anything. I mean... I'm going to. But..."

    "Destiny."

    "What?"

    "You're not pregnant."

    She frowned up at him. "How could you know what I am?"

    He held her gaze for a moment, then let his arms fall and turned away from her.

    She continued to stare at his back. A feeling of dread was forming in the pit of her stomach. She clutched her abdomen again. "Aubrey...how could you know whether I'm not pregnant?"

    "I can't have children."

    Her heart dropped down into her stomach. That's what it felt like when he spoke those words. The sounds around her muted. The passing cars, the random shouts of people on the sidewalk, the car horns...all of those sounds faded into the background. All she could hear was her own pulse, beating in her ears. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find her voice to speak the words she wanted to say. Her voice was trapped in her throat. She wanted to know what he meant, but also didn't want to know. "What...what do you mean, you can't have children?"

    He kept his back to her. "I had a vasectomy, after I became an entertainer. I can't have children."

    Her mind flashed back to a few years ago, when she and Candace were sitting in the living room watching a Drake music video. A girl was grinding on him in the video. Candace had said, "I bet he's banged like...so many hoes. How does this nigga not have twenty kids?" Points for Candace. "But...vasectomies can be reversed, right?" she asked him.

    He turned around to face her. "They can be reversed, yes. But I wouldn't reverse it. I don't want to have children, remember?"

    Her throat grew tight. Heart broken in two. "And you never see that changing?"

    He tilted his head to the side.

    "I mean...I thought that you didn't want to have children because you didn't believe in love, but if you believe in love then...isn't it possible you could want children in the future?"

    "Destiny," he said softly.

    "I was hoping..." She lowered her eyes and clasped her hands together in front of her. "I was hoping you would want children in the future. Because I could see...I could see you and me together, I could see us raising them-"

    "Destiny," he said again, cutting her off. He closed the distance between them and raised his hands to her shoulders. "Anything is possible, but right now I don't want children. You shouldn't expect me to change my mind on that. If you stay with me, that is something that you would have to accept."

    The world collapsed beneath her feet and she felt like she was in a freefall. "So...I'm not pregnant."

    "If you've been throwing up, it's probably because of all of the stress you've been under," he said, placing a hand beneath her chin and tilting her face up. He studied her face and caressed her cheek. "I'm going to have Brian take you to get checked out. On my dime. Make sure you're all right, see if there's some medicine you should be taking to ease the symptoms you're experiencing."

    She couldn't focus on the words he was saying. The only words she could focus on were the ones where he'd told her he couldn't have children. Being a woman, she'd already done the stereotypical act of imagining what their future kids would or could look like. Her memory summoned up those mental images. Then the images blew away, like a puff of smoke. Staying with Aubrey, that future wouldn't be in the cards for me. Staying with him, I wouldn't be able to have children. Her vision grew hazy and she reached out to grab the parking garage beam for support.

    "Are you okay?"

    She nodded. "Work. I need to get back to work. And you said...you said there was something you had to do."

    "Yeah. I'll stop by the office before you leave for the day so I can check on you."

    "No," she said, her voice sounding robotic and devoid of emotion. She felt completely numb. "We shouldn't be seen together, like you said. I'll be fine. But you should go, and take care of what you need to take care of."

    His brows rose. "Oh...okay."

    "Have a nice day, Aubrey." She turned away from him and headed towards the building entrance. Functioning completely on autopilot. Employees waved to her and called out greetings to her. She didn't return the waves, or the greetings. She saw right through them. Her life, her entire world, was spinning out of control. She didn't know how to stop it, and she didn't know what was what anymore. Aubrey and I are supposed to last forever, she thought. But I want marriage. I want children. I want a family of my own. And he doesn't want that. So...what does that mean for us? She stood in the elevator, trying to keep her composure together. Bravo for her - she was keeping the tears at bay.

    The elevator doors opened. She stepped off with a few co-workers, and held it together the entire way to her department's floor. Brian was talking to Jeremiah, the narcoleptic intern, but he glanced at her as she made her way to her office.

    She walked into her office and started to close the door, wanting to discourage Brian from checking in on her. Seeing him was the last thing she wanted right now.

    But of course he pushed gently at the door, preventing her from closing it. "Hey. Is everything okay?"

    She bobbed her head up and down. "Yup. Everything is good."

    He didn't look like he believed her.

    She didn't care. "I need to get back to work, so..."

    "Okay. Yeah, sure." He backed away from the door, wearing an expression of concern.

    She closed the door, pressed her back against it, and cried. Something she was doing a lot of lately.