tw: seizure
Beyoncé
Megan is asleep as I'm up immediately and quickly for work. I shower, make sure my hair looks well, that my nails are well groomed, everything. Megan wakes up in a second and moves to do my hair like she promised she would.
"Gimme kiss."
"Mmm. Morning baby."
"Morning. Sleep good?"
"Yeah, you? Mmhmm. Real good."
We're in New York, I have a business meeting with Shawn as we're getting ready to launch a luxury car brand. It's mainly for legal matters more than anything so we can stay protected.
I'm excited. A lot of those designs I came up with on my own by sketching and then trying to build it with spares and I made adjustments accordingly.
My hair is a looser curl pattern so she is able to quickly blow it out and curl it fairly quickly.
"You got yo' pantsuit?"
"Nah, I think it's in the closet, I didn't want it scrunching up with the luggage."
"Ight, lemme get it for you baby."
She is on her way out looking for it. She door kinda closes and I feel it coming on. I panic internally a bit. I don't want Megan to see. I've hidden the seizures for years. I'm not sure how much longer I can hide them.
I just don't want to worry her or end up being out on medication. I don't wanna be treated like a sick person. Megan loves and cares about me but I just don't want that.
I go ahead and put my head down on the countertop since I'm already sitting down. It's more discreet than just laying on the floor.
I can already feel that this one won't be too bad.
"Baby?"
I hear Megan rummaging through things. The spasms and seizures don't come often though. Like a handful of times every 6 months.
"Baby, I'm seeing two here. Different colors and all."
I can't respond as I try to clutch onto the countertop. I feel extreme deja vu which gets me scared and wanting to look at the door. My chest is pounding and I very much don't know what to do.
My body is overcome with chills for I'd say a minute, maybe less, but it feels like a lifetime. The hairs in my spine raise up and I shudder.
It's over and Megan is rubbing my back when I come to.
"Bey you good? You feel asleep on me?"
I flex my jaw a couple of time and sit up.
"Hey."
"Hey. Baby you shoulda went to sleep."
"But I wanted to talk."
She kisses me. We stayed up talking and shit and I won't apologize for getting to hear her voice a little longer.
"C'mon."
__________
Megan is by me during this meeting. She's leaned on my side and looks at me occasionally with a smile. My lawyer, Robyn is focused and discussing back and forth with Shawn's lawyer.
At this point it's really just the lawyers talking.
Megan grabs my hand under the table and plays within my nails. I got them done to look presentable and yet no on but her has noticed them. I guess that's all that matters.
