Megan
After the fight I went over to my mama's house where Jordyn and my auntie are in the kitchen scramble to try to make thanksgiving happen. My mama is yelling orders and Jordyn is snapping back.
I've been tasked with watching Jordyn's daughter, my three year old niece Aleena. She's intent watching a kids movie by my side and making me hold her bowl of Doritos and grapes mixed together. I can't even set it down because then she gets furious and throws a ten minute tantrum.
To say that I miss Beyoncé is an understatement. Beyoncé is the love of my life but I feel like we both went extremely overboard during that fight. I did and I know and acknowledge it.
I've called and she hasn't answered. And she's called and I haven't answered. We've been playing phone games for a minute and haven't heard from each other in days. Keeps ringing in my head over again. Does she really regret meeting me? She's been nothing but a light to me in my life, but am I the same way for her?
"Titi... Auntie." Aleena grabs my hand and leads me to my childhood bedroom. It's sort of a guest bedroom/her own personal bedroom at my mama's house. "Sit on the bed."
She stays here most of the time because my mama watches her while Jordyn works her shifts.
So the bedsheets that lay in the bed now are hot pink and she has fluffy pillows and a canopy above her bed.
The room is filled with toys to the brim.
She brings over a doll and hands me another one.
"You wanna play with your dolls?"
"Yeah." She says. "You can be the friend and I'll be the other friend."
She proceeds to make the dolls whack eachother and babbles things I can't decipher and I laugh hard.
"You're supposed to fight back!"
"I didn't even know what you were saying!" I respond and I can't hold back the laugh that exits my mouth afterwards.
Aleena gets pissed off and hood off the bed and goes to tell on me to my mama.
My mama comes back in the room annoyed.
"Wanna rotate? I'll be in here with her."
"Sounds good."
I head to the kitchen with Jordyn and my auntie and they immediately start asking me to stir food in pots in the stove and to not stop.
Jordyn has lost her vibrancy in the past years due to that weird dude she spent high school sneaking around with. She dropped out and mama was distraught. She kicked her out but quickly made her come back home when she found out she was pregnant.
Her and her baby daddy have been on and off. I don't approve of him, but it's also a struggle to get someone so deeply and madly in love to leave. So if Jordyn wants to do that toxic shit, we can beg her to get out of it but she's the one in the relationship and an adult now.
As a matter of fact we aren't really talking to each other and haven't really because I defended my mother because my mama doesn't think Aleena should be being raised by Jordyn. I agree, my mama is Aleena's grandma, her nana. Not her mama. But my mama still lets her spend most of the nights here and takes care of her and educates her because Jordyn is so hardheaded.
The food is quickly finished and we all sit down together.
Jordyn is texting her baby daddy in the phone and it's between my mama and I to make sure Aleena eats the food on her plate.
It's just not a good thanksgiving.
After dinner we all settle down. Aleena said sorry for yelling at me even though I found it more funny than anything.
She's been laid down asleep on me as her show plays in the background.
I wish Bey was here. No matter what, I forgive her. I wont let go of her so easily.
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Thoughts?
