tw: fighting/arguing
Beyoncé
We arrive at my mother's house in about an hour. Mainly because of traffic. I drove us here, Megan is flying into my mother's arms and my mother greets her with the biggest hug. I can't help but smile.
"What about me?" I joke.
Some of my cousins, including Kelly, Chlöe and Halle are here. They are all in the living room gossiping and don't really notice us. I quickly get our stuff to my childhood bedroom before we start getting comfortable.
Megan and I alternate what family to spend the holidays with. Last year we stayed in Megan's childhood home and this year it's my mama's place again.
It's bittersweet. This isn't my childhood home, my mom got it when I was 16 or so, but I can almost picture Solange running through the halls in some caramel colored corduroy overalls with a turkey family embroidered onto the front pocket. She had crumbs of cornbread in the pocket and around the counters of her mouth and my mama was hunting us down to wipe us down so we would look presentable for family.
I remember my mustard colored dress and a brown hunting jacket that I never took off and some leg warmers and boots. My father bought me my own hunting jacket even though we never hunted together. I would always steal his for the warmth that the inside, lined with alpaca skin would give off. He got a friend of his who traveled to latina america to get me one and it was tailored for me. A bit bigger so it would last me some years.
It's the first thing I notice when I put my stuff down and I see my closet door opened.
The small jacket hanging on a hanger on it's own. I run to grab it and it smells like cooking oil.
"What's that, baby?" Megan asks as she closes the door behind her.
"An old jacket of mine. From when I was 4. I outgrew it when I hit 12 years old." I show it off to her proudly.
She puckers her bottom lip out and smiles.
"Baby...."
I smile, "feel the insides of the sleeves, it was very warm."
I've never really thought a bout kids with Megan since were young but I find myself imagining a mini Megan running around with the jacket on in fall and winter and early spring. Playing outside in our big backyard with it on or taking her to the garage to join me on a work day.
"Aww."
I smile wide.
Who knows, maybe that discussion will come once we're married. I actually have the ring I intend to propose to Megan with. I practically carry it everywhere because you don't know when the time is right.
I don't want anything flashy. I want something more raw and unstaged and from the heart on a whim.
Megan takes a picture of the jacket and then gently puts it on the hanger.
It's a pretty ring, the diamonds on it are arranged to look like multiple little flowers. Her size exactly.
I put it back on the rack in the closet and we snuggle on the bed for a second.
