I Wish That I Had Jesse's Girl

3 - Relief and Anxiety Attacks

(BECA'S P.O.V)

Just as I was about to leave the door opened up and I ran into Aubrey. She was crying and all her make up was smeared.

"Aubrey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"It's- It's Chloe."

A million things went through my head when she said that. Did Chloe make it? Did she die?

"Wh-what happened? Is she okay?"

"Sh-She..." Aubrey could barely get it out before she broke down crying. She sunk down to the floor and I put my arms around Aubrey, trying to comfort her. I bet she didn't make it.

"Shh, Aubrey it's-it's okay." I could barely speak without crying.

The first tear fell from my eyes. I'm not ready for her to die. She was my best friend.

She was gone. I felt a huge amount of guilt on my chest feeling as if this was all my fault. I mean, she wrote me that letter explaining how much she loved me and told me to be happy. I bet this all was because of me.

I'm not ready to let her go through. I need her. I shouldn't have let her push me out. I should have been more aware of how she was feeling. I should have been with her more, so she could talk to me about and I could help her get through whatever is happening. But there's nothing I could do now.

"Beca, she's a-alive. They saved her."

What?

"Chloe alive?"

"Yeah, but she barely made though. They said she is really weak from all the blood loss. But she is alive!"

"When can we see her?" I asked. I really wanted to talk to her, hear her voice, see that she was okay.

"We could go see her now, but she is sleeping." They said we should come back tomorrow and that she should be awake by then.

That night I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was Chloe. I kept reading her note over and over again.

Did she really feel this strongly about me? I mean, I know that there was obviously some attraction there but I didn't think this it was this strong.

Finding out how she feels for me just completely messes everything up. The only reason I was with Jesse was that I had thought Chloe didn't like me in that way. I kissed him at the ICCA's because I was sure he liked me and that he was safe.

I honestly had tried to make myself fall in love with Jesse. But no matter what he did, or how well he treated, he just wasn't Chloe. But I thought she only likes me as a friend so I am forcing myself to like him.

I really shouldn't be leading him on though. He deserves better than this. I wish I had loved him the way he loved me.

I looked over at my clock and it read 4:30 a.m. I really needed to get some sleep.

+++++++++

(CHLOE'S P.O.V)

Darkness.

That's all I see right now. There's no bright light, there's absolutely nothing. It's just dark. But's not quiet, I hear the voice around me whispering and a soft humming sound.

As I am just lying here the voice is becoming louder and more distinct. Then suddenly, I begin to feel my arms and legs again. I can now here people around me and what they are saying. I hear to voice. The one definitely sounds like Aubrey's and the other's is...

Well, I can't exactly tell, I think it's Stacie's.

"Have you heard from any of the other Bellas?"

"Not really, I know most of them will come and visit her."

"What about Beca?"

"I don't if she is gonna come today. I know she wants to visit her but this was pretty hard on her. I ran into Jesse on my way here and he said that she hasn't come out of her dorm yet and when he went to visit her she was a mess."

"I knew this was gonna be hard on her. Considering the way she feels."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well the night Chloe went to... you know, do this. She had come over to my dorm to talk to me about Chloe. But before she could say anything you came in. But I pretty much have an idea of what she was gonna say."

I heard a person sigh and then felt something on my hand.

"God, I hope she wakes up soon."

What? What do they mean wake up? I can't wake up because I'm dead, and the only way I could wake up now as if I survived.

Oh... oh no that means...

Suddenly my eyes shot open to see if it was true.

It was.

I survived. I suddenly realized my worst nightmare was coming to life. I couldn't face everyone after what I had just done.

"No, no, no!" I said as I sat up.

"Oh my god, Chloe!" I looked over and saw Aubrey holding my hand.

"Hey, you're awake." Said Stacie, who had Aubrey sitting in her lap.

I ripped my hand out of Aubrey's and started pulling all the ivy's out of my skin ripping away the blood infusion.

"Chloe what are you doing!" I heard Aubrey shout at me.

It hurt ripping the plastic out, but I didn't care, I just wanted to be gone.

"Stop it!' Aubrey said getting off of Stacie's lap.

"I will go get a nurse," Stacie said running out of the room.

I ignored Aubrey and tried to pull the stitches out. I heard Aubrey yell my name again, but I ignored her trying to rip them out of my arm.

I felt Aubrey get on the bed with me and she grabbed my arms and tried to pry them away from each other. When she finally pulled back my arms, she used such great force that it threw us both off the bed and onto the ground. I quickly scrambled to the other side of the bed to grab a needle from an ivy and cut the stitches.

"Chloe, what are you doing! STOP IT!" Aubrey screamed at me, I looked over at her and she had tears pouring out of her eyes.

I looked away and grabbed an ivy needle in one hand. I quickly brought it down to one of my stitches. Aubrey quickly grabbed me from behind trying to pull me away.

We both went flying back onto the ground. But on the way down my arm hit the side of the bed and a few stitches ripped open causing blood to come flowing out.

But before I could do anything else I felt someone lift me up and put me on a bed.

"What happen." I heard a man ask Aubrey.

"Sh-She w-was..."

"Ma'am, we need you to calm down," The same man said.

"She w-was trying to rip open her s-stitches so.." Before Aubrey could finish she ran out of the room and threw up.

But before I could see anything else, I felt a nurse inject me with something and I blacked out.