That I would be your Girl - A Marvel Story

Chapter 4. Without you

A/N Thanks to those of you have read, I love you. Thank you to @ for making sure I didn't make too many typos 😅. That being said I know there was a lot of folks pissed Steve was being a jerk, hey man me too but he will get there. This Chapter jumps POV's a bunch of times so be aware. Also on a side note I just wanted to say I don't want to rush things along here but be patient there will be some spice. Evie needs to get adjusted also she just lost her man.🥺

   

Steve POV

    She looked up at me and the hurt that shone in her green eyes was a lot to stomach. Yet the all incumbent fury that rose so swiftly in them completely engulfed that hurt. I was stunned by the swift switch. I suddenly felt very sorry for her enemies because if looks could indeed kill I would have surely been put out of my ever-living misery. Perhaps I was putting myself into the category of enemy. Drawing a firm line between us in the sand. But that line of thought made a more rational part of me shout out to stop.

I knew I should have been nicer. I knew that none of what happened today was her fault. But after everything that Bucky had said to me and how close I had finally been to getting what I felt that I truly deserved, I had felt the incessant need to lash out. This was now something else that had been taken from me without my say. I certainly knew how to pack a punch. I'd been proving it my entire life, but this was the first time I had done it with words. The sheer reaction from Evelyn to solely hearing Peggy's name amplified my need to hurt her ten-fold. When I saw the jealousy exude from her in a giant wave, I couldn't help but let the hurtful grin spread on my lips, eager to hurt her more.

Did she really think she held a claim on me already?

I opened my mouth to tell her that I would never be anything to her but part of me was almost glad when she rushed from the room, because I knew that I was better than that. I tried not to think about how disappointed my mother would have been in me just then. I also couldn't help the guilt that burned heavy in my chest, and the sheer magnitude of regret that suddenly bellowed through me.

    Damn it.

    "That was uncalled for," Bruce's disapproving voice filled my ears, echoing my own thoughts. I turned to look at him and his wide brow was drawn, "Maybe what happened changed your plans, but I was there too, so was Sam, and so was Bucky. It definitely wasn't planned. She is the one who lost the most today, Steve, her husband is dead, there is no way anyone could survive a blast like that."

    I grit my teeth, "Yes Bruce, I was there too I remember what happened."

    "Then you remember that you were the one who made the choice to keep her safe," He moved closer to me towering over me like not many others could, "You can't make that anyone else's fault but your own. That is something you did. It is not her fault you weren't planning on coming back."

    I looked away from him because I couldn't stand to see the betrayal that was displayed on his face anymore.

    There was a beat of silence.

    "Why didn't you say anything?" His voice was imploring singed with hurt of his own.

    I took a deep breath trying to ease the tight ball that had been in my chest all day, all week, for the last five years if I was honest. I rubbed it with my hand, but it didn't help, nothing seemed to. "After everything that had happened, I just wanted to have something that was just mine. I didn't want to tell anyone because I knew how disappointed all of you would be. I knew that you would just try to talk me out of it."

    I stepped closer to the window and folded my arms across my chest.

    I heard him sigh behind me his voice filled with a regret of his own, "For what it's worth Steve, I think you deserve to be happy too. But if that means you acting like you did just now..." he left his sentence open ended and I looked over my shoulder to see him shake his head and walk from the room.