That I would be your Girl - A Marvel Story

Chapter 11. Blinding Lights

A/N So this is a pretty short chapter, but I wanted to get this out there so as not to leave you hanging like I did last chapter. Don't come at me, I know Steve is being an ass... bare with me 😅😏

**Tw** referencing sexual situations. Swearing, dear lord lots of swearing.

Steve POV

I worried about Evelyn and no matter what I seemed to do I couldn't help but feel helpless about the entire situation. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe I was trying to manage everything, but how could I have it any other way?

People could have been hurt.

Evelyn was hurt.

I cursed myself. It was the middle of the night, and I was unable to sleep and had spent the last hour cleaning the already clean kitchen. All of it an attempt to keep my mind busy, the three-hour run I'd taken earlier had done nothing to ease my mind either. Nor did calling every number I had stored on my phone that might be able to help me.

Those that answered anyway.

Pepper was mourning.

Like Evelyn.

Wanda was too.

Bruce, was burying himself in work, so was Scott so was Sam.

Thor and Captain Marvel were off planet, Fury wasn't returning my calls and Strange was being evasive. I knew he had more of an idea about what was going on than he was leading on to.

So, it was just me and Bucky.

And Evelyn.

I clenched my fists, Bucky was smitten, I'd never seen him like this. The look he had given me when he saw that Evelyn was hurt. It was just like what I was feeling on the inside and for the first time in longer than I could remember he was allowing himself to feel something for someone. She understood what happened while he was the Winter Soldier, and I was glad that he finally had found a person that he could talk to about it that didn't judge him for what he did while he was under Hydra's thumb.

But where did that leave me?

I had made a vow that I would not break, but I also couldn't place the feelings that I had barrel through me when I had watched her fall through the illusion of the Leviathan. My stomach had dropped to my toes and buried itself somewhere beneath the ground. She fought like no one else I had ever seen, even Nat. She fought like she had never known anything else, and maybe that was the case. She had definitely been an asset to her team.

She could be one to you too...

I was starting to hate the voice in the back of my mind that did not want to listen to practical thoughts.

I moved from the kitchen to the common area and sat on one of the soft chairs, to try and clear my thoughts. I feared I was becoming a man that I never wanted to become. A man that could not be counted on because his emotions got in the way.

That is who I am. That is who I have always been.

Who was I trying to kid?

Myself.

Part of me wanted, no needed to hate her, another part of me... The part of me that seemed to be talking some sense right now...

I would never let that part of me have a voice.

Though I tried to still my thoughts, all that I could think about was her body lying on that bed on Bleeker Street, blood everywhere, screaming in pain. I couldn't help but remembering how helpless I felt, how in that moment it didn't matter that I was Captain America, or that I was Steve Rogers. There was nothing I could do to help her, and I had absolutely hated it.