That I would be your Girl - A Marvel Story

Chapter 14. I'm Fine.

**A/N&TW** Sorry for the wait, its been a week that's for sure. Anyhow without further ado. TW's for language.

Steve stepped from the elevator with a grin on his face as he met James before I could even move. He clapped an arm around his friend's shoulders and pulled him in. His actions were too friendly, too jovial. I wanted to throttle him. My heart still pounded in my chest but now for an all too different reason, this time it was more for my guilt and anger than the lust that had just been crawling through me. I felt frozen in place but when the doors started to close, I hurried from my place still against the wall and into the apartment. I moved through the doors and to where the two men were speaking. My ears unable to process what they were saying through the racing of my mind. My hands fell limply to my sides the envelope was barely a thought in my mind.

What would I tell James?

I looked to him the strong angle of his jaw was upturned as he tilted his head back and laughed at something Steve said. His steel eyes bright and filled with happiness.

How could I tell him what I had just allowed to happen? His pink tongue darted from his mouth to wet his lips, I remembered that tongue tangled with mine, that smile only for me. I didn't want to see any of that disappear. Because they would. How could they not?

My heart felt torn, it had been some time since I'd felt this way and those long-forgotten memories threatened to come forward. I pushed them back down unwilling to remember that time. Unwilling to remember that this situation was not all that unfamiliar, and it was just something that I had buried so deeply that I could barely remember it most times.

I sighed.

The memory of two men filled my thoughts fighting and fucking and clinging desperately to each other in a way that most would shy away from. Clinging to each other, clinging to me, hating ourselves and loving every moment of it.

I cared so deeply for James, and I knew that he felt the same way, the connection we had was on another level and it was something that I already cherished to my core. I had put that all in jeopardy because that primal connection I shared with Steve. It was no matter that my brain told me no, told me to stop, to push him away my body betrayed me at every step. That connection with Steve fell somewhere between hate and lust and desire. I wanted him no less than I wanted James just in a different sort of way and it was not even in the same way that I craved my husband...

Guilt weighed down upon me again, because of where my last thought had taken me.

I had betrayed them both.

Again.

"You alright?" James' attention had turned to me, I must have been staring. His words bringing me back to the situation at hand. His face was set in concern, and he pulled from Steve's grip and moved towards me.

I nodded taking a step back feeling undeserving of his touch.

"What's that?" he asked looking to the envelope, then between Steve and me. Undoubtedly, he felt the tension radiating off of me.

It was Steve who spoke before I could even take a breath and James turned his head to face him as he spoke, and I felt thankful for the turn of his eyes away from me. "Sam, set Evelyn up with all of the documents she needs, I.D and the like."

James nodded and with a wide smile on his face that broke my heart he turned back to me, "That's great!"

I could only nod and James tilted his head to the side with a line forming between his brows angling his body to move closer, to ease whatever anxiety he sensed.

"I'm ok." I answered before he could ask. "I just need to rest."

"Why don't you go lay down for a bit," Steve said, his steel grip landing on James' shoulder, I could not help but notice the possession in his movements, in his words, "Then we can get something to eat I'm ravenous."