Raijin got discharged the next day. We went home but the house feels empty. Hindi pa man ako nakakapasok, ramdam ko na agad ang lungkot. Parang ayaw kong pumasok sa bahay pero kailangan dahil kailangan ko pang asikasuhin si Raijin.
My tears are unstoppable when I entered our house. The image of Kim running around the house also runs in my mind, making my knees weaken.
"A-anak..." Bulong ko at yumuko para yakapin ang tuhod ko. My heart is shattering but no one hugged me. He just stood there.
Raijin just watch me.
As I lift my head, his sobs reached my ear and the shattered heart of mine still breaks seeing him get down on his knees while sobbing like me.
Why did we turn like this? Masaya kami eh. Mamasyal lang kami ng pamilya ko. Nagsasaya lang kami dahil sa mataas na grades ni Kim pero... bakit nagkaganito? Bakit biglang nabura ang ngiti sa amin?
How am I suppose to wake up from now on if I'll not be able to feel my daughter's hugs and kisses every morning? How will my day be complete if my daughter couldn't hug me anymore? How?
No one speaks as minutes pass by. Only our sobs and cries filled the house. Hindi pa sapat ang luhang nailabas namin sa hospital.
"Raijin! Erich! Jusko!" Hurried footsteps was heard but both Jin and I didn't bulge.
"Anong nangyari sa inyo? Bakit kayo umiiyak?" Aling Delia asked us but no one answered her. "Jusko, anong nangyayari? Nasaan si Kim? May nangyari ba?"
Just by the mention of Kim's name, I cried more. Gusto ko nang sumigaw para maibsan ang sakit ng dibdib ko pero tanging pag-iyak ang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Nanghihina rin ako at hindi ko magawang sumigaw taliwas sa gustong gawin ng katawan ko.
"Nasaan si Kim?" Aling Delia asked, slightly alarmed but like before, no one answered her.
Isang yabag pa at may pumasok ulit sa bahay. "Oh, anong nangyari sa inyo? Bakit kayo umiiyak?" Mang Hector asked.
Alimg Delia went to me and sat in front of me.
"Erich, hija. Tumayo ka muna diyan at madumi diyan. Sige na, hija." Umiling ako at mas niyakap ang tuhod ko.
"Raijin, hijo. Anong problema?"
Walang sumasagot sa mag-asawa. Hindi namin magawang sumagot at nanaig nang muli ang katahimikan. Hinayaan lang nila kami na manahimik pero hindi sila umalis sa bahay.
"Delia, maghain ka muna ng pagkain. Baka gutom na sina Erich at Jin," Mang Hector said. Aling Delia looks at me before she stood up and went to our kitchen.
Raijin's abrupt movement was heard. I notice him stood up and ran towards our room. Malakas ang pagkakasara noon at rinig ang pag-lock ng pintuan. He locked himself.
Mang Hector went to me and silently sat in front.
"Hindi ko alam kung anong problema niyo pero sana maayos niyo."
My head slowly shook. "M-mang Hector, s-sobrang sakit po," bulong ko.
"Hija, may nangyari ba? Nasaan si Kim?" Maingat na tanong niya. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang pag-alpas ng luha ko. Gusto kong tumigil sa pag-iyak pero ayaw ng mga mata ko.
"M-masaya po kami. M-mataas ang grade na n-nakuha ni Kim. P-pinasiyal namin siya pero... pero bakit n-naging ganoon po?"
Mang Hector remained silent but it's obvious that he's listening. Maybe, I can tell him. Maybe, he can understand how painful I'm feeling right now. I know Mang Hector for years. Eversince I was a kid, I already know him and he always helps us. Maybe, this time. He can do it again. Maybe, telling him could ease the pain.
Because, I couldn't tell Raijin how hurt I am. Raijin is also hurting and I couldn't tell him.
"Anong nangyari, hija?" Tanong niya ngunit bago pa ako makapagsalita, lumabas na si Aling Delia sa kusina at agad siyang humarap sa akin.
"Sumabog daw ang mall sa may plaza! 'Yun pala ang narinig natin kahapon!" Aling Delia exclaimed.
"W-we are there when the mall exploded. K-kim is there. Raijin is there. I am there."
Aling Delia cried after realizing what I'm trying to imply. Mang Hector is also teary. Kim is a lovely kid, as what Aling Delia said.
A miserable scream roared. Mabilis akong napatayo at napatakbo patungo sa kwarto namin. I knocked repeatedly while shouting his name.
"Open the door, Raijin!" Sigaw ko.
"Raijin, hijo!"
Mang Hector motioned us to step back as he tried opening the door using his force. He kicked the door several times until it opens. Mabilis akong pumasok at napaluha nang bumungad sa akin ang makalat na kwarto namin.
There are glasses shattered and scattered around. The sheets are torn and Raijin is in the floor, crying.
"Jin..." I ran to him and tried taking his bleeding hands.
"G-go away. Leave me," he stated weakly.
"What are you saying? No, I wouldn't leave you." Sinubukan ko muling kunin ang kamay niya at laking pasasalamat ko nang hayaan niya ako.
"Kami na ang maglilinis dito." I nodded at Mang Hector and take Raijin to the living room. Dala dala ko ang first aid kit at sinimulang gamutin ang sugat niya.
I cleaned his wound but I stopped when his hands held mine tightly. Mas maraming dugo ang lumalabas dahil sa higpit ng hawak niya sa akin. His shaking hands, held onto mine helplessly. I wasted no time. I pulled him to my embrace and cried hard.
"It's my fault..." He whispered and I came into realization that he's blaming himself. He's been blaming himself since Kim went missing.
"N-no, it's not. Please, stop blaming yourself," bulong ko bago siya hinarap. Ang mata niya ay namamaga na kakaiyak at ang mukhang puno ng luha ay nagpasakit sa puso ko. Kahit gaano ko subukang hawiin ang luha niya, hindi pa rin tumitigil.
"Kasalanan ko, Erich! Ako ang kasama niya! Sana mas binantayan ko siya! Edi sana... sana nandito pa siya ngayon!" He stated while trembling.
"I told you, it's not! Hindi mo kasalanan iyon, Jin! Hindi mo naman alam na mangyayari iyon kaya please... please, tama na ang panininisi sa sarili mo!" Nagmamakaawang tugon ko pero umiling siya.
"No, I'll forever blame myself with this. I'm a useless father. I can't protect her." Raijin's mind is closed. Napuno na ng paninisi sa sarili niya ang utak niya.
"Hindi..." I shook my head and tried reaching him but he stood up, turning his back to me then, he slowly walks away.
He walks away... from me. Without even glancing at me, he walks out from the house.
BINABASA MO ANG
Where Eternity Begins (SOW #4)
RomanceSeries Of Wheres #4 - They have been living together and loving each other for years. Raijin Anderson and Ericianna Calvez-Anderson thought it's already had a happy ending but, no. Moving to her province with her family, they both started their mar...
