Get Me Out of Here (Completed)

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Hindi ko naiwasang mapangiti nang mapait. I should have expected this. Itinaboy ko siya. After being a good friend to me, I made him leave.

Seeing him right now awakened the emotions I felt back then, it made me question my decision. But knowing how we're both doing now, hindi ko pa rin iyon pinagsisisihan. Here I am now, doing fine despite the struggles I've been through, I've been well, I've been fighting. And here he is now, natuloy siya sa OJT rito, nakasama niya ang pamilya niya, at kasama niya ang taong importante sa kaniya. We're both doing well and that's worth it.

Huminga ako nang malalim at nagpatuloy na sa pagbabasa. I never dared to look at him again. If he wants to ignore me, it's okay, maybe it'll be better too.

Umabot ako sa ika-sampung pahina ng libro na walang naiintindihan. I swallowed hard when I realized that I'm distracted. Nakita ko lang siya, ganito na agad ang naramdaman ko, lumulutang nanaman ang isip ko. Maybe it's really better if we don't greet each other.

Hindi na ako nagpatuloy sa pagbabasa dahil wala rin naman akong naiintindihan. I decided to leave when I finished my coffee. Nakita ko si Dylan na nakaupo malapit sa pintuan. Our eyes met shortly and then I looked away and left.

The next days were normal, and when I say normal, it meant the bullying, the indifference and the hate.

Noon pa man ganito naman na talaga ang tingin ng lahat sa akin. I don't know how it all started. I like being alone so I never entertained friends. Whenever classmates try to talk to me, I always respond coldly, sometimes I don't respond at all. And then they just started hating me, because I didn't want to be with them, they started bullying me.

Noon ay hindi ko iyon naiintindihan. They hate me because I didn't want to be with them? I didn't understand the logic. But now.. I think I know why. Some people hate it when they can't get the things they want, some people hate it when they can't manipulate you, they try to make everyone else hate you to get into you.

I see Hani that way. She likes Xian so much so when she found out that I'm close to him, she tried to befriend me, her friends tried to be friends with me. When I refused.. they turned into enemies.

Xian would always remind me to ignore them, at iyon naman talaga ang palagi kong ginagawa. That time when I couldn't take it anymore, I felt like I lost myself to the small voice murmuring in my head. Ni hindi ko alam na napatay ko ang sarili kong pusa para lang isabit sa bintana sa dorm, para lang takutin ang mga taong hindi ko naman dapat pinag-aaksayahan ng oras.

I'm scared that will happen again if I don't learn to control my emotions. I'm scared these people will be able to control my feelings again, I'm scared they will get into me again. That's why I tried so hard to stay away, kahit na kung anu-ano ang naririnig ko mula sa kanila simula nang bumalik ako, nanatili akong tahimik.

I would sit at the very end of the room to avoid everyone. May ibang lumalapit at sumusubok kumausap sa akin pero kapag narinig ang tungkol sa amin ni Hani ay umiiwas na rin. They all think the same, that I'm a crazy girl.

I sighed and stood up after the professor dismissed the class. It's been two weeks since I started going to school again, wala namang bago at sanay na akong mag-isa. At mabuti nalang din at sa isang subject ko lang kaklase ang mga kaibigan ni Hani dahil naging irregular na ako. Most of my classes are with the lower years, and even when most of them are not friendly to me, it's still better than Hani's group who like to bully me.

It's Friday today, isa lang ang subject na pinapasukan ko sa ganitong araw kaya naisipan kong pumunta muna sa coffeeshop para doon nalang din gawin ang mga assignments. I gathered the books that I need from the library before going out of the university.