Get Me Out of Here (Completed)

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I couldn't stop thinking about her. She's lucky that she once had Dylan who listened and believed in her but what will happen to her now?

Strangely.. I'm so concerned.. maybe because I know how it feels, I know how hard it is and I know the things that she can do. In this world that only a few people understand our situation, it feels like a responsibility to be there with someone who has the same condition, dahil sino pa ba ang makakaintindi sa mga katulad namin kung hindi ang isa't-isa?

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Napakurap ako nang hinawakan ni Dylan ang kamay ko. He sat beside me at the sofa in the living room.

Gabi na at kakatapos lang naming mag-dinner. I fell asleep beside him earlier, ginising niya nalang ako para sa dinner. Ni hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap nang maayos.

"I'm fine.." I said while looking at his hand holding mine.

He sighed. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniyang mukha. His eyes look hopeful when he looked at me. "Can we talk?"

I stared at him. "We're already talking.."

He nodded. His jaw moved a bit like it's so hard to talk or say something. Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kaniya.

"I'm sorry.." Napayuko siya at napalunok bago muling tumingin sa akin. "I know words aren't enough but I'm really really sorry."

My heart hurt at the sight of him struggling. Kitang-kita ko ang sakit at pagsisisi sa kaniyang mga mata at alam kong katulad ko.. sinisisi niya rin ang kaniyang sarili.

"I'm not mad, Dylan." Umiling ako.

He looked straight into my eyes, namumula ang kaniyang mga mata. "Then why did you try to leave?"

I sighed. He's really thinking that I'm mad because of what happened, that I'm blaming him. Sa totoo lang.. sa sobrang sakit ay gusto kong ibuhos ang galit ko sa kung sino man. I wanted to blame someone because I couldn't accept it.. kaya nagawa ko siyang sisihin. Things are less painful when you have someone to blame but it's not right.

I realized that I am to blame too.. I wasn't careful. Dylan did his best to protect me and take care of me.. he don't deserve the blame. Abish.. she didn't know.. she's just someone who wanted love and understanding, she don't deserve to be blamed too.

Ayoko nang isisi kung kanino man ang nangyari. It's painful, the pain I'm feeling is unexplainable. Paggising ko kanina.. akala ko nandiyan pa rin ang baby, ingat na ingat pa rin ako. It took me a while to realize that it's gone, and Dylan couldn't do anything but just watch me in pain. Pareho lang kaming nasasaktan. The best thing we can do right now is to hold on to each other rather than blaming the other one.

I looked at him as I smiled sadly. I shook my head. "I was a coward.. I thought staying away would be better. Because everyone around me suffers. Lahat ng taong nagmamahal sa akin, nahihirapan lang at nasasaktan. I will forever be a sign of pain--"

"Don't say that," he cut me off.

Napayuko ako nang nagsimulang pumatak ang mga luha ko. "It's true.. mahirap akong mahalin.. nakakapagod--"

"Stop it, baby, please.. that's not true.." Hinila niya ako at niyakap.

Lalo akong naiyak.

"Hindi 'yan totoo. Yes, it's hard.. but it's not hard because it's you. It's hard because it's love and it's meant to be like that. Walang madaling pag-ibig, lahat makakaranas ng sakit. Pero ang nagtatagal.. iyong hindi napapagod. At ako.. hindi ako mapapagod, hinding-hindi ako mapapagod sa pagmamahal sayo."

I cried evenmore. Lalo akong nagsisi na naisip kong iwan siya.. lalo akong nagsisi na hindi ako naging matapang. If he didn't come to stop me today, I'll probably regret leaving him for the rest of my life.