Chapter 27
Well.. I guess it's alright to pretend that I'm strong, atleast infront of my family, just so they won't worry. Then I can cry when I'm all alone.
Just a week after Dylan left and I already feel like I can't keep going on like this. Mabigat ang dibdib ko tuwing gigising sa umaga at halos wala akong ganang kumain. I can only eat when we're on a videocall, para sabay kumain.
The rest of the day would feel like a torture. Pakiramdam ko ay triple ng paghihirap ko noon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Sobrang sikip ng dibdib ko pero hindi ko magawang umiyak kapag kausap si Dylan. Natatakot akong bigla siyang uuwi dito, natatakot akong makaistorbo. Kaya kahit parang nalulunod na ako sa lungkot ay hindi ko magawang sabihin.
He would always ask me how's my day, kapag gabi na at magkausap kami bago matulog, pero kapag nakikita ko ang pagod sa mga mata niya ay hindi ko na magawang sabihin pa ang nararamdaman ko. I would just think that I'm not the only one who's having a hard time right now, kung tutuusin ay mas mahirap ang sitwasyon niya.
I wiped my tears immediately when I saw that he's already calling. Kanina pa ako tapos maligo at naghihintay nalang ng tawag niya para magkausap kami bago matulog. Though his call is an hour late today, kaya nagsimula nanaman akong umiyak kanina.
"Hi," his voice sounds tired.
I swallowed hard and watched him.
"Sorry, late natapos ang pagpapapirma sa mga copy ng thesis book. I just got home." Nakita kong pumasok siya sa isang pintuan, probably his room.
I smiled a bit. "It's okay, you should rest. Kumain kana?"
He shook his head. He's moving so I can't see his face properly. Hindi nagtagal ay nakita kong nagtatanggal siya ng long sleeves polo.
"You'll take a bath? Huwag mo nang patayin, I'll just wait. Just place your phone on the bed."
He sighed. Kumunot ang noo ko nang nakita kong humiga siya sa kama. "I'll take a bath later, mag-usap muna tayo." And then finally, the camera focused on his face.
Just like what I've been wanting to do, I saw him stare at my face too. God, I miss him so much. I can't believe I got attached to him this much that I'm breaking down because we're far from each other.
I bit my lower lip. Umayos ako sa pagkakahiga at tumitig sa kaniya. He looks tired while I know it's obvious that I just cried, hindi na ako nagulat nang napansin niya iyon.
His eyebrows furrowed. "Did you cry?"
I sighed. I tried to stretch my lips for a smile but they just trembled. His eyes widened, mabilis siyang bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga.
"Have you been crying?"
He looks so worried, maybe because I have tried so hard to act like I'm fine with this setup for the past week. But I don't think I can do that today, I don't know why I'm feeling extra emotional.
He sighed when I didn't answer. I was busy trying hard to stop my tears even when I'm miserably failing.
"Armie, please.." he said pleadingly.
"I'm sorry.." In the end, I cried. "My heart hurts so much, it's too heavy, I can't pretend I'm okay anymore."
His jaw clenched while watching me cry.
"Believe me, I'm trying to be strong but.." I trailed. My chest hurts so much.
"Sshh.. it's okay, princess. Please.. let it out. Stop pretending and just cry it all out."
Sa sinabi niyang 'yon ay tuluyan na akong humagulgol. It was so heavy and I can't hide it anymore, the frustration.. the pain.. the misery. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. We didn't break up, we're far from each other but he always makes me feel that he's near. But it's not enough, I feel like I can't survive a whole month without him.
BINABASA MO ANG
Get Me Out of Here (Completed)
RomantikThe most misunderstood characters are often the ones who have suffered more.