Harmony of LoVe

Chater 36 Memories

Chapter 36

"Memories'

***JEONGMIN's POV***

That was so closed. She saw my tattoo... What will happen to me if Claire will find out that I was her ex? How can I tell her that and ask for forgiveness. My heart is aching when I see her all happy with me.

I remembered vaguely when I met her at school she always annoys me to eat with her, to stay with her and to study with her. I don't like being around of people but she bothers me a lot.

I grew fond of her and so I just accepted my faith that whatever means of avoiding her won't do. I treat her like a sister and a friend. One day she got sick and so I visited her house.

On that very day I realized that I have a feeling for her. Our relationship levelled up since then and we became more than friends but destiny was not agreeing to what is ahead for us.

I was diagnosed with leukaemia and my parents were so scared that they will lose me. I don't want to tell her that because she might worry about me. Instead I told her that I really don't love her and I am not happy being with her. So I left her and cause her so much pain.

I am scared that if she finds out she'll just wait for me and I am not even sure if I could come back alive. We fly to Canada to seek better medical attention. I suffered from all the treatments and test that they gave me.

For a whole year undergoing chemo is a total hell for me. The unbearable pain, my self-esteem from losing my hair and my hopes to live are drifting away. I have no dream to fight for. No future ahead of me. I have nothing but this stupid curse that I have.

Until one day I saw this group dancing and singing for their debut and I saw that they have the same age as me. I watched their performance and their back stage interview. They are so amazing. I want to be like them.

For the first time living in Canada I smiled every time I watched Shinee on music programs. Dreaming to be like them I attend my session with a positive mind. Praying that there will be a miracle and I will be delivered from this hell I am going through.

Finally my prayers are heard. The doctor said that I was healed and I can now resume my daily life. He advises me to have medical every year to check for my health.

I went back to Korea carrying these hopes to be an artist. My parents were against it since they are worried that I just recovered from a serious illness. It was my dream and I want to achieve it.

God gave me a second life and I will use it productively. I change over a hundred eighty degrees. I learned to smile always, communicate and mingle with other people that I don't use to do.

I studied music. I learn how to play piano and develop my vocal ability. I auditioned to many talent agencies and was accepted as a trainee in Starship Entertainment. I waited for a year to be casted in a group and my hard work was paid off then. That's how I became an idol.

I almost forgot about her because I am busy reaching the place that I want to be. It never came to me that our paths will cross again and the emotions that I buried deep inside my heart will float again after long years.

I want to court her again, but I want to end those hurtful memories we have when we are young. I want to create new ones, with our love, happiness and contentment for being together.

"Did she find out?" Hyunseong was staring blankly at me.

"I don't know. I'm afraid she does." I sighed and took a can of beer out of the fridge. I gave hyung one and we both drank it at the same time. The maknaes are busy doing their assignments in their own room; the living room is free for us adults.