All That You Are (Wangxian)

One

Wei Wuxian sat there on the mountain where he stood when he and Lan Wangji went separate ways. His grumpy donkey, Little Apple, still remained with him. He did wander around for a while after he and Lan Wangji parted. He went back to Lotus Pier to finish mending things with Jiang Cheng. After mending things with his brother, he went back to that spot he last saw Lan Wangji. He sat there with tears falling, wondering what he should do. He wants to be beside Lan Wangji, but he is now Chief Cultivator until his brother, Lan Xichen, comes out of seclusion.

Wei Wuxian still blames a lot of things that had happened on himself that being alone was his punishment. Death didn't want him so now the only thing left was loneliness. As he sat there on that hill, allowing his new friendship to grow with loneliness. The pain in his heart was real, he hurt so many people and the one who pushed all the bad things on him. He tried so hard to hate them, but he was already dead, and hate can't bring back those lives that were taken; Jiang Fengmian, Yu Ziyuan, Wen Qing and her family, Jin Zixuan, and Jiang Yanli.

He still blames himself for his nephew becoming an orphan. He had every right to stab him that night, he hid his identity from him, he was a part parents death. That guilt was so real but it was the only thing he had left to hang on to. That guilt pained his heart, and he felt he deserved it. The pain his body feels now, after his golden core was removed, sits there for his comfort. People will say he doesn't deserve this pain and he should be happy, but the pain is the only thing that allows him to remember his sins and accept them. He sat there and cried. He wanted this pain but he didn't want this pain. He was stuck in a dark place and he can't seem to find the light anymore.

"Why so sad, Child?" A woman's voice asked calmly.

Wei Wuxian jumped to his feet, "oh, it's nothing, just some personal issues that cannot be redone."

"It may not be redone, but self-forgiveness is important," the woman said and checked the young man, Wei Wuxian out, scanning him from head to toe, "what is your name and your parents names?" She asked.

"My name is Wei Wuxian, courtesy Wuxian. My mother is rogue cultivator, Cangse Sanren and my father is former head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang Clan, Wei Changze."

"You mother is Cangse?" The woman asked, "where is she now? Why are you alone."

"She and my father died on a night hunt when I was around four or five. I was taken in by the sect leader at the time, Jiang Fengmian, because he knew my parents," he answered her.

The woman was silent for a moment and then spoke, "if it is alright with you, I would like to hear more of your story. I will introduce myself soon but for the moment, are you willing to come with me?"

Wei Wuxian thought for a moment. He really had nothing to lose and this woman seemed to mean no harm, "Alright, I will go with you. Just by your presence alone, I feel I can trust you," Wei Wuxian told her.

"Good, come with me," she said holding out her hand, "and you can bring the donkey."

Wuxian let out a chuckle. He grabbed the reigns with one hand and the woman's hand with the other.

"Can you close your eyes for me?" She asked. Wei Wuxian did as she asked. With a whoosh of a sound and a gust of wind, it was as if they flashed to a different location, "alright, you can open your eyes now."

Once he did, he saw that he was standing outside a beautiful cottage. It was perfect for a single woman. It was even near the forest and had a lake just to the right of the cottage. Wei Wuxian followed the woman inside and made himself comfortable as she made her famous tea.

"Alright, why don't you tell me your story," she said, "I sensed spiritual energy but you have No golden core. Why is that?"

"I gave it to someone else," Wei Wuxian answered truthfully, "he was a clan leader who got his core crushed by someone who goes by 'Core-Melting-Hand'. It's almost impossible to run a clan without a golden core. Plus he is my sworn brother. If it weren't for him and his family, I wouldn't have cultivated in the first place. So I felt he needed it more than I did."