The People's Princess (siblings!jacksepticeye & reader)

Chapter 7

Sorrow wasn’t enough to describe the agonizing grief that soured Killian’s mind and heart.

Sile isn’t coming home tonight. 

His mind kept replaying like a broken record, the darkness and silence in the hospital’s waiting room amplifying the dreadful thoughts that plagued his mind. He doesn’t know how long he’s been here, slumped in the cold metal chair closest to the emergency exit, staring off into the distance with cold, ocean blue eyes and a permanent frown painted on his lips. A handful of nurses came up to him, asking if he wanted something to drink, wanted a ride back home, but he never responded, the pain making it too hard to even comprehend what they were saying.

He was tired.

Tired of not doing enough, tired of thinking “if I had been a second faster”, tired of those horrid images of his wife’s lifeless body on the hospital bed flashing in his head like a movie. The one thing he cherished more than his own life was now gone because of his carelessness and he was tired of remembering he had one job - being a good husband - and still failed such a simple task.

In the cruellest way possible, he took away the one thing she wanted the most: her lifelong aspiration of becoming a mother. All those times she stayed up late, thinking about having kids, all those failed attempts and all those hospital trips after the twins were born were for what? All those times her brown eyes sparkled with the hopes of having children and the promises of “we can go through anything as long as we have each other” were for what? Her dreams of taking the twins out to see the townspeople, see their school once they come of age, see their possible classmates were for what? All these hope-filled dreams and conversations just for her to die in his arms put him right in the face of despair. And all that remained were the bitter, nauseating facts.

Sean and (Y/N) don’t have a mother anymore.

The people of Virgine don’t have a queen anymore.

Sile isn’t coming home tonight. 

And it’s all Killian’s fault.

“Killian?” A quiet, but comforting voice said from the right of him, approaching him with small slow steps. It was Dr. Zoё, the doctor who gave it her all to give Sile another chance at life, the doctor who encouraged her to do what she wanted besides her growing sickness, the doctor who truly gave a damn about her. It was almost like she wanted the best for Sile and Killian but they did nothing but throw away her hard work. “You’ve been here since morning, should I get you something to eat?” She asked, taking a seat beside the big man but didn’t make eye contact with him, looking straight ahead. Killian didn’t respond to her question but she already knew it was going to be like this. So instead of continuing with her questions, she sat there. Still, silent, brown eyes never leaving the pale white wall ahead of them like she had nowhere to be, like she wasn’t Virgine’s top doctor caring for hundreds of people each day. She momentarily threw away her identity as Dr. Zoё and instead became Hange - Hange who listened when people were in troubling situations, a shoulder to lean on and most importantly, a friend. Hange had no responsibilities, no IV bags to check or surgeries to perform. Her only duty was to be present; to be a good friend.

Hange and Killian stayed in silence for twenty minutes before a broken sigh left the brown-haired man’s chapped lips, the heaviness of his heart evident with how his pink lips trembled and the corners of his empty eyes became wet.

“...s-she’s…gone…”

Hange didn’t say a word. She knew he needed a moment to rearrange his thoughts and get everything off his chest.

“It was… al-almost…their bi-birthday…” That’s what broke him the most, the thing that made him so defeated and desensitized to sit in his chair the entire day. It was going to be the twins’ first birthday and Sile was preparing all week to make this first birthday a memorable one. She constantly rambled on long after they were tucked in bed, talking about how big the party would be and Killian continuously brushed her off, saying they’re “too young to remember”. She’d counter every time with the biggest grin on her face, saying “it doesn’t matter because I will”, explaining how she promised to invite the entire village and hold a gigantic feast, how the castle will be decorated in the prettiest purples and golds and how everyone would have the time of their lives there. But she’s not coming home tonight. She won’t be able to remember their first birthday and tell them about it when they’re older. She couldn’t even witness her children’s first birthday party because of Killian’s neglect and that was something that will continue to eat him until the day he dies.