Obsessed To A Benjamin (4th Gen #15)

Chapter 27

Lumabas siya ng opisina niya at hinanap ng mata niya si Ciana. She's busy on her computer. Nilapitan niya ito.

"Denise." Tawag niya sa babae.

Nag-angat ito ng tingin sa kanya. Ilang beses siyang kumurap pero talagang wala, wala na ang kislap sa mata nito.

"Sir." Bati nito at tumigil sa ginagawa.

Hindi sinadyang nahagip ng paningin niya ang picture frame na nasa mesa nito. His heart ached seeing Zyde and Ciana smiling on that photograph. Sa opisina ang background.

"Sir?" Untag ni Denise na puno ng paggalang bilang empleyado.

Napakurap siya at muling binalik ang tingin dito.

"I need you to do the monthly report and I want it later on my table." Utos niya at tinalikuran ito.

"Copy, Sir." Pahabol nito.

Napabuga na lang siya ng hangin.

Nakahiga lang siya sa kama ni Ciana habang hinihintay ang pagdating ng dalaga. He pretended that he's asleep when the door opened.

"I don't know, Chloe. Hindi ko na alam." He heard Ciana said.

"Alam mo, Ciana. Alam mo ang sagot kaya huwag mong sabihin na hindi mo alam." Chloe answered on the other line.

Sinilip niya ito at nakita niyang umupo ito sa kama. Nakatalikod ito sa kanya.

"I love Helix. Everyone knows how much I am crazily in love with him but when they asked me why do I love him when he did nothing but hurt me?" Ciana said.

Natawa ito ng mapakla.

"Now, I know the answer. That's because I'm not really in love with Helix. I am in love with the thought of him inside my head."

Fuck. That stings.

Napapikit siya ng mariin habang tila nagpaulit-ulit ang mga salita nito sa pandinig niya. Na para bang sirang plaka na nagpaulit-ulit.

"I thought I just love him too much but little did I know I am obsessed and obsession is not love, Chloe."

Ciana moved to face him. Lumapit ito sa kanya at hinaplos ang kanyang mukha. Nanatili siyang nakapikit ng haplusin nito ang mukha niya.

"Or maybe I was in love back then..." She whispered.

His heart raced.

"The first time I saw him wasn't love at first sight, natatawa ako sa kanya pero naawa ng mapagtanto ko na he was bullied, at nakaramdam ng galit sa mga gumawa n'on." She said on the other line.

Chloe remained silent, as if she was listening to her.

"Sinabihan ko silang tumigil sa pagbully kay Helix but they just laughed at me. They bully me, too because who would have thought that the sweet girl have the strength to defend him without him knowing? I followed him secretly until I discovered I have crush on him.

"And then I thought, he needed someone to defend him. And that's when the sweet girl gone bad. I'm a sweet girl because I wanna have my father's attention, my classmates would approach me because I'm kind but little did I know I only want the attention of a lousy man, and that is Helix Benjamin." She chuckled.

"Yeah, and you knew what happen next, right? I've become a siga, we became friends and viola, I'm obsessed. Alam mo ba kung bakit ako nagkaganoon?

Because I feel bitter that I was there, I did everything for him when he's on his down and worst state but where was I when he's on his best?

Why did he like someone else when I was there the whole fucking time when he's building his confidence and love for his self?

B-bakit...bakit kinalimutan niya agad ako sa panahong..sa panahong siya lang ang inaalala ko?"

Ciana sobbed so hard. Humagulhol na ito sa palad at nabitawan ang cellphone sa kama. The sound of her cries is so fucking torture for him. Tangina. Masakit pala.

"H-hindi ba ako kamahal-mahal? I was there with my Dad, I had love my Dad but when Kassiery came mas minahal niya si Kassie. S-si Tita naman, alam kong may pake siya sa 'kin p-pero pinagdamot ni Kassie. Mint is the only friend left to me but he was sent abroad before. I thank God that you didn't left me Chloe, sa lahat ng mang-iiwan ikaw ang nanatili but you knew may gusto talaga tayong manatili, 'di ba?"

Humikbi si Ciana at pinalis ang luha sa mata. Hinawakan nito ang kamay niya.

"S-si Helix. Mahal na mahal ko 'yon. Before shits happen, we were close, I feel love, I feel that I'm important, I feel so special. Minsan naisip ko na s-sana...sana hindi na lang siya naging confident, 'no? Kasi...kasi umaasa lang siya sa 'kin, na sa bawat araw ako lagi ang hinahanap niya pero that would be selfish.

And me being selfless, witness how he liked Kendall, how he kissed Ruzan and how he danced and make out with the prom queen, Rian."

Humugot ito ng hangin at binuga rin iyon. Naramdaman biya ang luha nito sa kamay niya. She's still crying.

"B-bakit kasi hindi na lang ako, eh. Hinding-hindi ko siya tatawaging loser, hindi ko siya sasaktan, mamahalin ko lang. Mamahalin lang naman kita, Helix pero bakit...bakit ka nananakit?" Napahagulhol ito sa palad niya at ramdam na ramdam niya ang pagkabasa dahil sa luha nito.

She inhaled a lot of air, calming herself down. Tumigil na rin ito sa pag-iyak peto humihikbi pa rin.

"Pero siguro papansin lang ako kasi walang nagbibigay ng atensyon sa akin. And now...I've finally met a man who knew how to treat me better."

"D-do you like Zyke or you just like the attention?" Chloe asked on the other line. Mukhang umiiyak rin ito.

"Alam mo, Chloe. People would mostly choose mahal ko over mahal ako. Kasi sabi nila mas masaya talaga kapiling ang taong mahal mo, kasi kahit maraming nagmamahal sa 'yo, hahanap-hanapin mo pa rin ang taong mahal mo."

Lumakas ang tibok ng puso niya sa narinig. He's afraid she might hear it.

"But not in my case. Not in the case of a girl whose love language is affection. Hindi sa babaeng uhaw sa atensyon. I like Zyde, I'm starting to fall for him. The way he stared at me like I'm the rarest diamond, the way he talk, the way he smiled and the way he cared for me. Wala pang nagpaparamdam sa akin na ganoon."

Kung gaano kalakas ang tibok ng puso niya kanina ay parang biglang naglaho at napalitan ng sakit dahil sa narinig.

Hindi ito katulad sa selos na naramdaman niya ng piliin nito si Raids, hindi rin tulad ng napag-alaman niyang hinalikan ito ni Helix. Ibang klaseng sakit, ibang klaseng selos. Nagmimistulang bangungot.

"Kahit si Helix?" Chloe asked.

Hindi nakasagot si Ciana. Pero umaasa siya, umaasa siya sa sagot nito pero wala.

"Hindi ko mahal si Helix Raids. I think I love Zyke."

And that, his tears fall.

Unti-unti niyang dinilat ang mata at nagsalubong ang titig nila ni Ciana. Napaawang ang labi ni Ciana sa gulat habang nakatitig sa kanya.

"Y-you cried...r-robot don't cry..." Singhap ni Ciana at napatayo.

Nanatili pang siyang nakatitig dito.

"H-helix," she muttered.

Now, he's hurt even more knowing that he's the man named Helix and not the man named Zyke Lee who Ciana loves.

Indeed. Regret can only be felt at the end, and maybe this is the end because he's regretting.

Too bad, she loves him too early but he loves her too late.

The Endn't