Obsessed To A Benjamin (4th Gen #15)

Chapter 30

Ciana Denise'

Loving Helix is wonderful, but being obsessed to Helix is torture.

"It's okay to cry, Ciana. It's fine." Zyde comforted her and hugged her tight.

She whined like a child and held his arm. She held on his arm as if it's her life support, as if she can't make it without Zyde.

Sana nga ganoon na lang. Sana si Zyde na lang.

"I-I love him. Mahal ko si Helix." She cried.

Ibang klaseng sakit kasi alam mong mahal niyo na ang isa't-isa pero hindi pa rin talaga pwede. Kailangang magpalaya kasi hindi dapat kinikimkim sa sarili. Kasi parehas silang malalason. When you're both toxic won't make your relationship intoxicated.

Thinking about the very first time I met Helix. The first smile he gave her, the first laugh he shared with her and the first kiss she steal while he's sleeping. She's so crazy, so crazy about Helix.

"Ciana, mahal kita. I love you. Gihigugma kita. Te quiero. Je t'aime. Volim te. Ti amo. Sa kahit ano pa mang lenggwahe isa lang ang ibig sabihin at iyon ay mahal kita." He confessed hurridly.

For how many years they've been together, she wished for him to say those words to her. But he didn't just say the three words, he say it in different language, in different accent but with the same sa meaning. He loves her.

But indeed. It was way too late.

Napagod siya. Nagsawa sa sakit, tumigil. Nagmanhid at handang kumalimot.

Sana ganoon lang kadali.

"Huwag...h-huwag naman. A-akin ka lang...Akin ka lang, eh." He sobbed, sounds begging."

Helix don't beg but he did. But again, too late.

"I love you, Ciana...Mahal kita." He cried.

Too late, Helix...

Nag-angat siya ng tingin kay Zyde. Zyde was there, Zyde reached his hand for her when she was drowing. Not Helix but Zyde.

"I love you..." She muttered to him.

Zyde smiled sadly and cupped her face.

Hinalikan nito ang kanyang noo, ilong at labi. It wasn't intense kiss, just light, just brushing their lips together. Napapikit sita.

"You don't..." He muttered.

Napadilit siya at gulat na napatingin dito.

"W-what..."

Zyde smiled and fixed her hair that went on her face.

"You don't love me, Ciana. Because you love the person, you cannot give an exact reason. You love me because I gave you attention and care but no...you don't and I'm not forcing you to love me. I'll be more happy if you love yourself first. Love your self first and decide who's the man you really love, and if you choose me, I'll marry you, and if you love Helix, I let you go."

Her heart ached and new tears fall form her eyes. Napapikit siya dinama ang palad nito sa pisngi niya. Umiling siya.

"N-no..I don't love Helix anymore. He hurt me--"

"Not because you don't love him, you love me already. You learned not to love me but you learned to unlove him. Your eyes opened, you've learn that you deserve better through me because I treat you right but it doesn't mean that you love me already. You just love my actions, but there's someone else in your mind that you want him to treat you that but you know he cant so you let him go, you've move on and that's not because you love me."

Mas lalong lumakas ang pag-iyak niya dahil tama si Zyde. He's damn right. And she's thankful  that he made it clear to her. Zyde is a Godsent. Laking pasalamat niya talaga dahil nakilala niya ito.

"What's your next plan?" He gebtly asked and combed her hair using his fingers.

"Fly to New York? Seek advise on Psychiatrist or maybe put myself in rehab? I need it."

Zyde smiled and nodded.

"Let's go, then."

BITBIT ang maleta ay tinahak niya ang daan papuntang airport ng mag-isa. Zyde back out the last minute. He wants her to heal by herself but he assured that hes just one call away.

And he's right, or else she'll end up depending on him.

She was waiting for her flight when she suddenly felt dizzy. Napahawak siya sa maleta niya at kumurap-kurap para mawala ang hilo pero mas lalo lang lumala iyon.

"H-help.." Nanghihinang saad niya at napaupo sa lapag.

Agad siyang dinaluhan ng naroon pero nawalan na siya ng malay at hindi na niya alam kung ano ang sunod na nangyari.

Nang bumalik ang ulirat niya at dinilat niya ang mata. She's on an unfamiliar place but she knew it's a clinic. Inilibot niya ang tingin sa paligid at nakita niya ang doctor.

"D-doc.." Tawag niya.

Lumingon ito at ngumiti.

"You're awake. That's good."

Inabutan siya nito ng tubig at napainom naman siya. Dahan-dahan siyang umupo sa may gilid ng kama, ang paa ay sumayad sa sahig at napatingin sa swerong nakakabit sa kanya.

"I'm fine, Doc. Hindi lang talaga ako nakapag-agahan kaya nahilo ako. I've been through a lot of stress---"

"Which is not good for you and your baby."

"W-what..."

Her heart sank on what she heard. Napaawang ang labi niya at napahawak sa tiyan niya kasabay ng pagtulo sa kanyang luha.

"N-no..." Napatayo siya at napahawak sa tiyan.

"According to the blood test, and it's more accurate than pregnancy test, you're almost 4 months pregnant, hija. Don't you know about this?"

Napasinghap siya sa sa narinig. Three months... Three months does it mean, nabuntis siya ng binata sa isla pa lang?

Fuck. Hindi ito maaari. She's pregnant. Paano niya maalagaan ang bata kung siya sa sarili niya ay hindi niya kayang alagaan? Kaya ba niyang mahalin ito? Yes, damn it yes. Ayaw niyang matulad ito sa kanya. Ayaw niyang maging uhaw ito sa atensyon. She doesn't want her child to experience the same thing she went through.

"Hija, calm down! You can't cry heavily. Makakasama sa bata." Nag-aalalang sabi ng Doctor.

But how..paano niya maaalagaan ito. Can she be a good mother? What if she failed? Paano kung maranasan na naman nito ang narananasan niya.

"You're bleeding!"

Napasinghap siya at napatingin sa hita niyang may umagos na dugo. She screamed in fear and that's the last thing she knew and she passed out.