ache. ache with even just a little bit of joy is what my heart wears anytime. i felt a knot of broken strings beat in my chest.
and then you introduced yourself, giving the ache a reason why it's happening and i assumed maybe because you're the one who i want to be with.
when it's you who actually want me.
LIZ.
"holy fuck, holy fuck" under the dimmed light of my room, i clutched into my chest as my other hand supports itself by holding unto the pillow, cursing as silent as i can to not bring some worry into whoever is awake at this kind of hour. "holy shit"
it hurts.
i wasn't crying or in some kind of deep pain- it just aches.
i breathed in slowly and then out. do i need water? yes. but do i want it? no. i'm not a crying mess but i'm lazy to even grab something. all i know is i'm sitting in my bed, heart aching without a reason.
as i said, it is silent. inside and outside of my room so when i heard the twitching of my doorknob, my chest just added a fast tempo of beating in the ache.
"oh my god" she smiled innocently. "you're... still awake? good evening i guess? uhmm... maybe morning" she just awkwardly stood there, holding unto the knob. she didn't even knock.
do i even know who this person is? i forgot to mention she's holding a book and a pen. at midnight?
"i'm the daughter" she introduced herself, "rei"
oh. yeah. the daughter of our newly business partner, they have to live here for our father's to do the business they have to finish or just a plan yet? i don't know actually but sure they will be here during summer. so like we have to sleep in the same bed for a whole season. great.
me and my parents already talked about this, i agreed because we have not an extra room and we're both girls so i couldn't argue more.
"liz"
"don't think something creepy, i just went from a sudden group study and you weren't there since we arrived this dinnertime so we didn't have an actual introduction- nice to meet you by the way" what a talkative midnight person.
"study group at this hour?"
"like... the dead poets society?" she asked back with a wide ass smile, still standing on the front door. i don't know what she's talking about.
"i- i'm sorry?" and by that, she grinned. and i know something's gonna fucking happen and i wasn't even wrong. we just ended up watching the movie she's basically talking about until morning comes. yes.
the pain i was having in my chest, now a complete shit. this girl just put a reason on it- with a great movie.
"rei what the fuck" after 4 minutes of processing everything, that's the first thing that came out of my mouth as i looked at her.
---
"heyyy heyyy morning girls" mom greeted, carrying a plate of toast breads and bananas. reaching our table in the backyard, she put them on top. "just feel at home" she told rei.
rei showed her gratitude and smiled ear to ear until mom went back inside to talk with our dads.
"this is actually my favorite-" she grabbed the bread, folded it and looks at me, "-with peanut and strawberry jam" and then took a bite while here i am, just watching her. i raised my eyebrows, asking internally what is she looking at, she just continued eating.
---
"are you sure this is a good idea?" she looked at me nervously as we were still pushing my car until we reach the empty road just a few more steps from my parent's backyard.
