fooor AhnMinJin,
hope this is good :)
---
hanahaki
- a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals
- yujin
"what? what makes you think i'll lose my love for you? i love you, yujin"
huh, lies.
"if you mean what you said, what are these petals for?" i asked the blue petals, sitting in my hand.
i've been coughing this up for days, that just mean i am the only one who keeps on loving. she lied. all she told me was a lie.
"yuj, did you pluck a petal from the flower we just bought?" asked chaewon.
"no. of course not"
"let's go then" she smiled, lending me a hand. me, a fool, took and intertwined it with mine, giving her a sweet smile.
we went out, rode her car and went to a restaurant. a very simple date to celebrate our 3rd anniversay, not so bad. we just don't want fancy things.
with her, i'm not feeling nuisance about those stupid petals, all i got inside was butterflies. but whenever we're apart though we live in the same roof, i don't understand, why do am i coughing petals?
staring at her, looking cute while viewing the menu, she seemed totally fine. "let's order our favorite?" she asked, i nodded. "what's happening? why are we quite today? hmmm?"
"chae... does my presence only reminds you of us?" she was taken aback, "that was out of the blue, forget it" i smiled through the awkwardness.
now i felt sorry.
we somehow made it through the night and just fell asleep when we got home. did we speak to each other? yes but not in the way how you celebrate an anniversay. we talked like friends.
the next day didn't go as planned, there weren't an event. but i surely knows we should be in beach, eating the foods we like. that's what we planned a year ago. look now.
night comes, she's not beside me so i went outside to search for a place where i wouldn't even remember her name but here i go again, coughing up petals. one, five, ten, for who knows how many petals did i have in my hands.
i can't breathe, chaewon.
i can't.
---
i had no idea what was going on. why the hell am i in a car? i don't recognize these windows.
i properly sat up aftet gaining back my senses from my sleep.
"getting addicted on drugs or something?" i frowned when a girl asked, she's in the frontseat. who- "i'm minju. saw you laying down in the playground- with petals" she answered, not looking back at me.
creepy.
"t-thank you for the help. but i need to go-"
"what about your name?"
"yujin-" i was taken aback after hearing her cough. i observed the ground, it has petals but white.
then she looked at me, giving me a beautiful stare.
"sorry 'bout that. you know, still hoping for a love so impossible to be returned back" minju chuckled. wow, she's reaveling herself to a stranger.
"do you wanna talk?" i asked, i just thought that we felt the same thing so why not talk about it, right?
"i thought you need to go? sorry for talking a lot" she gave an apologetic smile.
"it's fine, you're not dangerous after all. in fact, to where i was gonna go, i'll just fool myself there" we giggled instead of feeling the pain.
"we're the same then"
"not sure, how did yours happen?" i asked,
she sighed before she begun, "typical shit. i love her more than just a friend but she's seeing someone now. she doesn't even know my feelings"
i went to her and gave her pat on the shoulder before i told mine. it's somehow relieving to tell someone how you feel, specially by someone who just picked me up from the playground.
during those hours, we somehow, still coughed some petals, mine was blue and hers was white.
that's just how we love them.
---
chaewon and i was fine just before our anniversary, but now? all she could give me was petals.
i was almost running out of breathe because of coughing, why can't i just unlove her?!
and oh, we've broken up.
a month after our last date which i didn't even know was real. chaewon admitted, she was losing it all for me.
i suddenly thought about... m-min... ? i can't even remember her name but i know a place where we could somehow meet again.
i went to the playground, i need someone to tell how i feel, i need a stranger.
and i wanted to ask her about her love.
but that stranger didn't come.
the other night, i went again. she didn't. and again and again.
until, "i see blue petals, you might as well wanna see white?"
i looked behind me and wasn't wrong about may thought, i was breaking down and i needed someone so i just hugged her.
she hugged me back for who knows what reason but i would be lying if i said i didn't feel comforted.
"we broke up" said i, still in her shoulders.
"relationships wasn't always made to stay strong 'til the end. sometimes, it's the one that needs to end" i got confuses for a little but later on realized her beautiful words.
i soon knew that she and her friend wasn't longer talking to each other because she confessed and the girl was staight.
after we met again, we would always meet in the playground everynight, not really everynight but you know...
we would tell each other how we feel, how our days were.
soon the petals was slowly going away, hers was going away aswell. i am happy we're slowly moving on.
this night, we're here at the playground again. sitting in the swing.
"still coughing up petals?" i shook my head, asked her the same and she shook her head as well. "good then"
"i'm still thanking you for saving me that night"
"which night? the fisrt or second?"
"both" we laughed, "i mean i'm telling the truth! you really saved me"
"you saved me aswell, you know" minju looked at me, just like the fisrt time she did that, it was a beautiful stare.
i smiled back- and between the smile, i felt something inside of me wanted to be out.
i held my chest and then coughed.
"what's happening? are you coughing up petals again?" asked minju, woriedly.
i looked at my palm and observed what i got, a blue wing of butterfly. "i-it's beautiful" was the fisrt words that left my mouth.
minju looked at it and was shook aswell, she couldn't even utter a word and just looked at me.
"w-what?" i asked, she got back to her senses and smiled at me.
she grabbed her phone and went for the case and grabbed a thing inside of it. "yujin" she showed me a pair of a white butterfly wing. "i got these just before i went here"
"it's not a flower that we had now"
"and all we got this time was butterflies"
