just a vibration derived and a pop-up message, containing 2 words from karina's phone, she took the early leave and went straight home and she hates getting home early.
not because she doesn't like seeing her wife, it's just a typical wanting to get that promotion for good money that would mean lots of dates to have with winter, the wife.
if she has the control over the bus, she would've jump over each cars in front in a speed not bounded by law. and that's one of the reasons she couldn't get home early.
with her sweaty palms, pounding chest and teary eyes, she tried her best not to show panic as she dials her wife's number only to recieved that woman's voice that says signal cannot be reached. a few more calls repeats that cycle, karina left messages instead.
within 10 minutes of silent panic, the transportation made its stop just beside a neighborhood in which further more walks should be made before you reach the house where lights were off and no tv noise it usually has.
karina's legs is not for the maze but she felt her throat closing up just by how fast she made it through their house, if a sport handler saw that, she'd be invited in the olympics. invited.
"winter! love!" it should came out voiceless but she herself heard it well despite the fast breathing. she bought her hands on the nearest light switch possible, going further and opened each doors. the bedroom and finally, there comes her love in the bathroom.
"winter, my love" there she felt her throat running out of air, her legs muscle crampled, and the mess of her undone tie. "don't say sorry, please don't be sorry" she carried the lady out of the bathtub and failed so she sat at the edge, her arms on winter's back became a hug that also felt like a pull.
winter, a knife on her hand she just pulled from her shoulder she herself planted, dropped.
in the pinkish water, karina searched for the knife to throw in the floor before she settled in and carried winter's head into her shoulder, her body on her and arms all around her lover.
winter sobbed her night out, not a single word but full of what's stuck in her throat for how long it has been.
"it's okay, love, it's okay. don't be sorry, it's not your fault. it's okay"
winter doesn't know how to distinguish the temperature, she doesn't know what's warmer, the water, her own blood, or karina's lips on top of her head.
it was a thought she always had. the thought of escaping her own world, where her creative mind built its own house with no window and neighborhood. not even a silhouette of her lover is there to knock.
but why shoulder? because she's still waiting— of karina and of everything she wants if there's any left to think of.
winter was a good person, still is. she knows how to take good care of her love one's, her work, her talents, her everything. she knows how to wear her smile and love what she adores.
one thing she missed, the terror of what her thought held– like it was also waiting. to win and to eat everything she ever was.
if there's a future to seek, winter always made sure it's with karina. that's the only thing she thinks about, that's her hope as cliche as it sounds but that made her attemp with her shoulder and not the neck.
few hours before they got off that tub, it eventually cooled down, winter asked to be carried and karina– with all their wet clothes, tiles and foot, did with all her remaining strength.
karina, even not a nurse, took care of winter's wound 'cause she knew her wife hated ambulances and hospitals.
and just like their other night, they sleep around each other's arms and waits for their tomorrow.
