Part of You | AU Countryhumans Fanfiction

╰┈➤ Chapter Seven

WARNING:
Curse words and other mad words heh.
There's an argument here so uhm... yeah

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BEIJING CHINA
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Hours later
In his apartment

"Why did I become stupid?!" I screamed at myself and slapped my face on both left and right.

So, I've been doing this for hours now. I left my office early to rant at myself.

Currently, I am walking in circles, just like what I was doing in the previous hours. I feel sorry for myself!

Imagine! I just told someone I'm being better than who I was without even doing anything much! How would they really believe me?!

Philip is being untamable now. He won't believe what I was telling him. Gosh, maybe I overshared thoughts in my answer, didn't I? And I asked too much about Martial.  Shit, what have I done? I didn't mean to be suspicious!

I gripped on my hair and screamed at myself once again. I pressed the both sides of my head while my eyes were tightly closed. "I'm sorry! I was carried away by feelings!"

Do you even like him, China?

The question popped up in my head.

Do you?

Oh, this is bad. Even myself is against me.

"Why do I overthink like this?! I don't earn money from this overthinking!" I faked my cry to let all the negative feelings out. I knelt down on the ground. "It's not like I like him or anything!"

I covered my mouth in realization. What if I do?

"AAAAAAHHH!!!" I gripped my shirt over my chest. "Why am I so brittle?! I am supposed to be strong and manly! Why do I feel so soft?! Am I still scary?! Am I still like you, dad?!" I bent down and had my face on the floor. "Dad, I'm sorry! I don't know what's happening to me either! I'm such a disgrace!"

I rolled myself on the floor and hugged my knees. I feel so weak. My sight was slowly getting blurry and wet. My lips curved downward and began to shiver. I... I'm crying.

If my strong, fighter, brave Dad is still here with me, he would hit me with a bamboo stick and scold at me. He would abandon me. He would never see me as his son anymore. He would train someone else!

Luckily, he's dead.

I began to sob loud on the floor. My chest felt heavy that I felt like drowning uderwater.

"M-Maybe, change isn't for me," I cried. "I have to keep myself in line. I have to be who I promised to dad-"

I was distracted by knocks on the door.

My eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

I would ignore it but that someone knocked again but louder!

Who the fuck could it be?!

I forced myself to stand up. I am stomping my feet loud so they can realize this is not the right time to bother me.

I twisted the doorknob and open-

. . .

Oh.

I became silent when I saw North Korea looking up to my eyes while holding his laptop. He tilted his head and his eyes seemed examining my face.

Shit. I quickly faced away from him and wiped the trails of the tears on my face.

"Who made you cry?" He started with that question.