Part of You | AU Countryhumans Fanfiction

╰┈➤ Chapter Thirteen

WARNING
Sensitive words.
Rants.

* * *

PYONGYANG NORTH KOREA
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

"That... felt like it happened before."

I think it's been hour already since I came here after following yeobo. I just wanted to know what makes him busy for him to ignore my messages and calls.

What I got so far is that this Martial is Philippines' alter. How? Like that personality disorder? I thought it isn't true. Both of them have been going here but haven't met each other. How ridiculous.

And they're both feeling dejá vù here. Are they both imagining? Creating illusions?

I continued listening to them from the bush.

"I better go home."

"Want me to give you a ride?"

"Ah, no. Thanks."

Yeah, bitch. You better not sit on my seat. I thought.

"Are you going to Malacañang? Or..."

"Nope. Philip said he'll stay here in Palawan 'til tomorrow. The house we rented is just near here."

"I see."

Why the fuck will a president rent a damn house if they can have it free?

"When will we meet again here?"

"Uhhh, I can't tell yet. But I hope I'll meet you again."

I silently pretended to vomit. I felt disgusted.

"Alright! I gotta go now! I'll see you next time!"

"Yes! I promise!"

Then, I sat back to the inner part of the bush when I heard them step closer to my position. I covered my mouth to avoid making noises.

I heard a minute of silence. Then, multiple footsteps going far. I waited for few seconds to confirm there's no one around anymore.

I peaked my head out from the bushes.

I jumped out of it and put my hands on my waist. I exhaled deeply. "I am way better than him."

"Korea."

"AAH!" My soul almost left my body! I even jumped on my position in surprise! I turned back to see China seriously looking straight at me. I quickly fixed my posture and my outfit. I made myself look unbothered by the sudden event. "Good evening. I expected you to stay here." I lied.

"Why are you here?"

Why is he serious? It's like he never had his clingy side in him, huh? "Checking you."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I wanna know what's making you busy."

Not gonna lie. His monotone voice made me feel more nervous and defenseless. But, I tried to raise my pride. I hate feeling defeated.

I continued, "You're ignoring my messages and calls. I wanna know what's making you busy."

"I turned your last call down. Didn't that mean I don't wanna talk to you anymore? Didn't you understand that?"

"I cannot let you go without explanations why, China. Is that because of him?! Since you met him, you've been acting weird!"

"That is because I had ENOUGH of your rules and I found someone else where I can be comfortable!"

. . .

I smiled sarcastically away from him after hearing that. He wasn't comfortable with me but he was kissing me on the bed. "I don't understand how you became uncomfortable with me after being with me for 2 decades since the fall of the USSR."

China looked away.

I deeply breathed and crossed my arms. "How dare you push me away that quick?" It's almost a whisper and I said it while looking straight at his eyes. "I hate feeling hurt, China. You, who I gave all my love to, made me feel it! You said you love me! You said you need me! I gave everything- ALL OF ME to you! WHAT ELSE DID I MISS?! WHAT DID YOU SEE ON THAT 'MARTIAL LAW' THAT YOU DIDN'T SEE ON ME?!"

"You're acting like dad!"

. . .

"You're... setting boundaries in my life! You're always near me!"

"AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT, CHINA?! I WAS TOLD TO LOOK AFTER YOU!"

"The USSR is gone! You could've stopped doing that on me! I can take care of myself! You're reminding me of dad, the person I hate to remember!"

"Ah, so, you hate me?!"

"YES! BECAUSE WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SPACE?!"

"Isn't A DAY enough space?! Does that mean you need A WHOLE YEAR?! Don't you understand that I'M WORRIED FOR YOU?! AM I WRONG ABOUT THAT?!"

"You pressure me!"

"WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT MAKING YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO?!"

"SHOULDN'T I BREAK UP WITH YOU?! SHOULDN'T I HAVE TO REST?! CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE ELSE?! YOU'RE SELFISH, KOREA! YOU WANTED ME ALL BY YOUR OWN!"

. . .  "No, I don't. I'm taking care of y-"

"You don't, North Korea. You're DICTATING me what to do. You're SPYING ON ME! YOU CAN'T LET ME GO!"

. . .    I'm wrong then?

"All my life I never wanted to be reminded by my father who literally tried to ruin my dreams! And YOU'RE HERE who did NOTHING ELSE IN MY APARTMENT but to KISS ME and MADE ME THINK I LOVE YOU. YOU MADE ME LUSTED ON YOU. YOU'RE LIKE A SNAKE, KOREA."

. . .    I'm like a what...

"I can't bare faking myself anymore! I told you, I never loved y-"

"That- That's enough- Y-Y-You said- t-too much."

I uncontrollably cried. I couldn't hold back my tears. Embarrassing. Dramatic asshole.

I looked away while getting mad at myself for being emotional. What's wrong with me? Someone just became honest to me. Why... am I hurt? I accepted everything he said. They're all true. Then, why am I crying?

I look pathetic now. Weak. Useless.

"Thank you for being so honest to me." I managed to look back at him with my blurry sight and a tear sliding on my cheek. My shivering lips spoke, "I was waiting for you t-to tell me that. N-Now, I don't have anything to worry about. Tha- Thank you-"

My throat fucking hurts. This feels heavy. I feel pathetic.

"Korea, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You did no wrong."

"I just... hurt you-"

"No, you did not." I forced myself to laugh while I was sobbing. "You're just honest." I sniffed. "I-I think I should go. I'll- I guess I shouldn't see you again."

Thank you for the days and nights you were with me.

Thank you... for making me feel loved.

Thank you for showing me that the world is safe.... and can become this bad.

I turned my back away from him and kept the last words I thought of in me. I don't wanna look at him anymore. He scares me.

The world's too dangerous. I shouldn't let my guards down. I'm not going outside my country again. I'm not talking to anyone outside my zone again.

I never faced back. I don't want to see how horrible I did back there.

I hope you'll be happier with him then.