It will be fine. . . . I promise?

Chapter 20~ Best gift

Kodies POV

Niall, Louis and Zayn have been in here for an hour now and we've been talking non stop about almost everything. Me and Louis had a small argument about Unicorns and Pixies. Niall complained a lot about the food here in the hospital being too cruddy. And Zayn complained about not having any mirrors in the room.

"Yes Zayn I'm sure I dont know if we have any mirrors in here so you can tame your already perfect quiff." I said for the billionth time. "I swear the worlds going to run out of hair products because of you." 

Niall laughed at my lame joke. He really was a great friend. He hasnt brought up the recent accident that had gone on with me, which I'm glad for. I wasnt really up for talking about me almost killing myself. Well infact, Im never up for talking about it. Its not a very comfortable subject to stick to.

"Well, its getting late guys, you should go home and get some rest. Oh god that sounded rude. Why must I say these things?" I said. I swear it sounded nicer in my head. I never intended it to come out sounding like I wanted them to leave.

"We want to stay though. We dont want to leave you here. We almost lost you." Louis said, with a sad tone. I felt my face drop at the sound of them almost losing me. I didnt think they actually cared that much about me.

"Boys, can I speak to you outside?" Niall said, motionaing for the boys to step outside for a second. What could he possibly want to talk to them about? Maybe ways to get rid of me. Im starting to regret not doing this earlier. I should have killed myself after my Dad left. I should have killed myself as soon as I knew about them never coming back. I shouldve have just gotten it over and done with so the boys didnt have me on there backs anymore.

I sat there in my hospital bed fiddling with my thumbs nervously. Its been 10 minutes since they went outside and had there talk. What could they possibly be thinking about that was taking them this long. Maybe they ran into a doctor. Maybe they found Harry and Liam.

As I though of many ideas of what they could be up too, I heard the doors creak open to reveal a very stressed looking Harry, followed by Liam. Liam didnt look as bad as Harry but he still looked stressed.

"Hey Kodie." Harry said, very slowly, with a worried concerned look plastered on his face. I looked in his eyes, and noticed something I'd never seen before. I seen guilt washed through them, like theyve been dipped in a bucket of guilt paint and let out to dry. 

"Hey Harry, Hey Lili." I said. I loved my nicknames for them. They were so cute. I wasnt really in the mood to call Harry by his. I was still a little upset about what happened earlier between us.

"How are you feeling?" Liam asked. Harry looked as if he was going to cry if he even said a word. 

"Is that really the question you should be asking concidering the state of you now? You look like you havent slept for weeks Liam." I said. It was true. There bags under his eyes and his skin was paler then usual. 

"Im fine Kodie. Really. So how are you? How are you feeling?" He asked again.

"Im just dandy." I said in my best western accent but turned out more like a british one. Dont see how that works but oh well.

"Kodie seriously, I know your not ok. Your in a god damn hospital for got sakes. You need to stop bottling your feelings up so-"

"Liam. I know your trying to look out for me. And I appreciate that but, Im just trying to stay positive about this. Im fine really. The pain from my arms have gone now. Im fine." I said. I really didnt want to argue with Liam. As much energy as it took to restrain myself from yelling at him, I managed to keep it in.